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He sighed. “What you do need is time to think, to mourn. By the time Ryan returns you’ll have changed your mind and you’ll want to marry him again.”
Erika almost laughed. As if it was that simple. She would be on that ship at that moment, believing her heart still belonged to Ryan, marry him and travel the world. However, she hadn’t counted on falling in love with Jay. Only to find her love not reciprocated.
“I am lonely,” she admitted. “And the idea of being alone frightens me.” But not enough to betray her own heart. She owed herself that much. “Don’t you understand?”
His face looked anguished. He looked as if he would touch her then thought better of it. “More than you realize. Go inside, Erika.”
But she didn’t. Instead, she stood facing him. “Whether you’ll admit it or not, you’re lonely too Jay. But you don’t have to be.”
The dazed look on his face betrayed him, and Erika’s heart softened. She had been right, and that realization made her yearn to reach out to him. “Jay, I—“
”Dammit, Erika!” he suddenly barked and thrust he
r away. “You’re making a big mistake. I’m not the one for you.”
He looked pained and rubbed his forehead fiercely, but Erika didn’t notice. It was his words that found their mark. There was an excruciating moment of silence where she thought she couldn’t breathe. The agony was so severe. Then she gasped, took a huge gulp of air and felt the tears sting the back of her eyes.
“You kissed me.”
Jay raised his eyes and pinned her with his gaze. A gaze full of both loathing and remorse. “It didn’t mean anything.”
She felt the blow to her chest. Why was she so surprised? Wasn’t that exactly what she had thought? What he had already told her?
Until she allowed her foolish heart to believe it was love that had spurred his kisses. For what else could it be?
Her chin began to tremble and her eyes glistened, but he stood steadfast, staring blankly back at her. Erika reacted without thought. She struck out and slapped him across the cheek. Hard.
The force of her slap knocked his face to the side and his hand automatically came up to cover the inflicted cheek. Guilt toyed with her conscience, but she refused to back away, wanting to see him hurt as much as she did.
“Go inside, Erika,” Jay said calmly, but did not turn back.
“Don’t tell me—“
”I said,” he spun around, rage burning deeply in his eyes. “Go inside.”
She would have fled from the sheer fear of hatred in his eyes, but for the fact when he turned around, he was bleeding from the nose.
Chapter 20
Erika gasped at the sight of blooding dripping from his nose. She stepped forward, remorse filling her heart. “Oh my God, what did I do?”
When she went to reach out to lay a gentle hand upon him, he snatched her wrist in a fierce grip. “Erika, I told you to go inside.”
Her eyes shifted from his bleeding nose to his pained eyes. She noted the unmistakable look of suffering deep in his silver depths.
Straightening her back, she told him, “I’m not going anywhere, Jay. I’m not leaving you. I’ve done this and I’m going to make it better.”
“As much as I know you would love to take credit princess, you didn’t do this,” he muttered and released her hand, his forehead crinkling up in pain once again. “And you can’t make it better.”
“Foolish.” She grabbed his arm and propelled him toward the house, her maternal instincts kicking in. “I’ll get some ice and—“
”Stop Erika!” He planted his feet squarely on the ground and refused to allow her to drag him into the house. She did note, however, he had not shaken her off again, but used his other hand to try to stop the bleeding. His skin looked unmistakably pale.
Concern filled her gut. “Don’t be stubborn, Jay.”
The words had barely escaped her lips when she felt him go weak beneath her hand, saw his pallor go even more ghostly white, then collapsed in a lifeless heap on the ground at her feet.
“Jay!” she cried out before dropping down next to him.
