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A deep frown creased her forehead as she turned and studied him lying so defenseless on the bed. Her heart felt like it was literally being yanked out of her chest. “What are his chances of survival during surgery?”
“As I said, not many surgeons have experimented with this organ. Nor many willing to try. I have found a recent publication of a physician who performed a removal of a tumor some years ago in the neck of his patient, but surgery on the brain in general has not been widely conducted or noted. Particularly if the results have been fatal.”
Her eyes locked with his, unwavering. “What are his chances?”
“Small.” He was blunt in replying.
“But still a chance?”
“Erika.” His mother reached for her again. “Don’t raise your hopes. There was more than just the risk involved when Jay made his decision.”
“What do you mean?”
“There was the cost of surgery and travel to consider,” Jonathan told her. “We had no means to pay for the trip to Pennsylvania let alone the surgery. And no guarantee he would survive the long journey.”
Lillith’s eyes grew dark. “I wanted my son with me when he died.”
Her heart reached out for his mother, feeling her grief like no other could. It all was such a horrible injustice. Jay did not deserve to die this way. He was far too powerful of a man.
Erika looked down at him once again and felt a new set of tears. For a mere five minutes, hope had kindled deep inside. Even in his unconscious state, he drew her. Erika removed herself from his mother’s embrace to go to him. His face was dea
thly white. The skin around his lips was beginning to turn slightly blue.
Reaching down, she stroked his cold cheek with the back of her finger. “How much pain would he be in?”
“He isn’t in any right now,” the doctor said.
She closed her eyes to the reality of this statement. Soon Jay’s suffering would end. And Erika’s would begin.
“I meant in surgery.”
“Well, obviously, there would be some involved,” he admitted. “But with ether anesthesia being widely used nowadays, it would help considerably cut back on the pain. But since it’s still fairly new, I’m not sure entirely just by how much.”
She nodded, her eyes beginning to burn as she stared lovingly down at Jay. “Is it too late?”
“Erika,” Jonathan said. “We can’t afford—“
”I can,” she simply said, then turned to look at them. “I won’t let him die. My grandfather left me a trust fund in his Will. It can cover the cost of surgery and travel for all three of you.”
Silence fell over the room before the doctor finally answered her question. “He’s very close. I wouldn’t be surprised if he slipped away during the night.”
“Then he’ll just have to wake up.”
Lillith came to stand next to her, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder. Erika looked at her and saw her own anguish mirrored in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I have to take the risk. I can’t lose him.”
* * *
From somewhere deep in his conscious he heard a voice. It wasn’t his. It was a woman. Erika. She was speaking. So softly, he could barely hear her. But he heard her grief, felt her suffering.
He had wanted so much to protect her from this. She had suffered so much loss already in her life. It broke him inside knowing he was the one causing her so much sorrow.
For years, he had mistaken her pompous and seemingly cruel manner for a deviant imitation of her grandfather. Had thought her selfish, spoiled little rich girl attitude resulted from her upbringing. Which it was. Just not as he suspected.
Jay
Oh God, it hurt. It hurt simply just to hear her voice. To linger long enough to take it with him.
There was a time he would have gladly drowned out her voice. A time when she taunted and tormented him with her words. Words that cut him to the core.
