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Like a pitiful creature whose heart had been ripped out of its chest, Evelina made her way out of the room and down the hall to her bedroom. Once inside, she quietly shut the door behind her and simply stood there staring at the walls. Tears continued to pool in her eyes but she forced them at bay not allowing them to flow. For if she did, it would be as if she acknowledged Ryan’s fate. Instead, she shut down her emot
ions and senses. It was as if every organ in her body ceased working one after the other. Starting with her heart. She became numb and no longer felt human or alive. She felt empty. So utterly hollow.
Walking over to her bed, she slowly undressed. With each piece of clothing, she removed a layer of humanity. Peeled away the tiers of emotion that had caused so much pain. With the loss of Ryan, she lost something valuable whether she had known it or not. She had barely clung to the thread that still kept her on this earth, but now, she was ready to let it go. Give it all up. Life for Evelina had always been an everyday struggle. Without Ryan at her side, what was even the point?
Pulling back the covers of her bed, she crawled underneath and stared lifeless at the lantern on the night table next to her. A tear silently escaped and slid down her cheek on to the pillow below. No sobs or any other sounds escaped her throat. Instead, she crawled out of her earthly skin and kept herself tucked in dark safe corner away from reality. One in which no one could reach or hurt her. There was no longer any energy of strength to react. There was nothing. Just a big void.
She remained like this for several days. Her mother came to check on her and tried to encourage her to eat, but she rejected any food. Her siblings tried to coerce her out of her room to sit before the open window and fresh air, but again she did not.
For exactly thirteen days, she remained in her room and refused to leave. Some claimed she was in mourning but Evelina knew it was far more than that. Her spirit had left her body and all that remained was her lifeless corpse.
When she had her accident twelve years ago, she had withdrawn from society, terrified of getting further hurt. Then Ryan came along and awakened something in her. For the first time since the accident, she had felt alive again. She wanted to crawl out of her protective shell and risk getting her toes wet.
But never again.
She should have heeded her own warning. Refused to get involved. Refused to open her heart to another. For she realized now that she loved him dearly and the pain of losing him was far greater than any other pain she suffered before in life. Even the pain she felt that horrible day so many years ago on the rocky bluffs.
No, the world was a frightening place and she wanted nothing to do with it. It hurt and tormented without pity. And she was simply a vulnerable nothing at its mercy. If there was any merciful God at all, then she prayed he would come and take her away from all this misery.
“Please, Evelina, you must at least eat.” May came to collect the uneaten tray of food she had brought her daughter earlier that day. “You’ll waist away to nothing.”
She knew her mother was concerned, as well as her father, but Evelina couldn’t gather the strength to care. She sat emotionless staring at the bland walls in her room.
May sighed heavily with despair but gathered the tray up and turned to leave. When she reached the door, she glanced back at her daughter. “He wouldn’t want this for you. He wouldn’t want to see you cooped up in a room.”
No, he wouldn’t, she silently admitted. However, he had asked too much of her then and would be asking too much of her now.
When May received no response from Evelina, she opened the bedroom door and was about to leave when the sound of a loud commotion came from the front of the house.
“Evelina!” She heard her father’s excited voice above the animated ones of those of her sisters.
“What is it?” May declared as her husband suddenly appeared in the entranceway. “What is going on?”
Her father’s face was beaming with joy as he advanced into the room. “Sit up child. Come, come now.”
He bustled around her trying to straighten her bed sheets.
“For goodness sakes, Clive, what is this all about?”
“You shall see, you shall see.”
He had barely gotten the words out when a shadow fell over her mother’s figure where she stood blocking Evelina’s bedroom door. Evelina’s gaze naturally followed the shadow to where it loomed just behind her mother’s head. What she saw caused her to stop breathing. She stared at what could only be a phantom or a horribly cruel spirit. Her food-deprived brain must have started creating illusions for Ryan’s handsome face appeared before her. Instantly, her eyes pooled of tears at the sight of Ryan standing inside her parent’s home, outside her bedroom door. And very much alive.
May turned around, gasped in shock and dropped the tray of food. “Oh blessed heavens!”
“Ma’am.” Ryan grinned and knelt to help her mother clean up the scattered food.
At the sound of his voice, Evelina let out a sharp breath for he was real and not a figment of her imagination.
At the sound of her gasp, he lifted his gaze to take in Evelina lying in her bed. His warm eyes scanned the length of her body sprawled out beneath a heavy blanket, causing their blue depths to darken slightly.
“You’re alive!” May cried out in joy before throwing her arms around him to give him a great big hug.
“I’m afraid it appears that way.” Ryan chuckled. Then glancing back to Evelina, he asked, “Are you ill?”
“Evelina has been in mourning,” May informed him. “She’s refused to leave her room from the moment she heard you went missing.”
“Is that so?” He arched an eyebrow. “There was no need for that.”
