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Cassie squeaked as she inhaled sharply. “Oh my gosh! You’ll be here for the fourth of July. And we can have barbeques all summer long! And swim parties! Jack, do you know what this means?” Her eyes practically glowed as she stared at me.
“Yeah, Kitten. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ll get to have a life with you. An actual non-baseball-driven life. Better get used to me being around, because I plan on stalking you for quite a while. ”
“Dad, what’s stalking?”
I shot Cassie a freaked-out look. “Uh, it’s when you follow Mommy around the house all day. ”
“Oooh,” Chance said with wide eyes. “I stalk Mommy all the time. ”
Everyone at the table laughed and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, surrounded by family and the people I loved. I couldn’t wait to start the next chapter of my life.
Our New Lives
I kept asking Jack if he was sure and he continued to insist that he was. If he changed his mind, I wanted him to know it was okay. The truth was, I hadn’t gotten my hopes up super high, just in case he decided at the last minute that he couldn’t retire. I would have understood. It seemed almost harder for me to grasp the concept that Jack was truly okay with quitting baseball, than it was for me to be mad at him if he reversed his decision.
But after he sat me down and told me he had officially decided to quit, his entire demeanor changed. It seemed like some virtual weight neither of us even knew existed had been lifted from his shoulders. He smiled more and got excited at the simplest things, like going to the movies. He couldn’t remember the last time we’d done that. And sadly, neither could I.
Even during those few months of the year when it was considered the off-season, Jack was never truly off. A real baseball player couldn’t be. This sport demanded so much of one’s time and mental energy. He was always focused and that put everything else on the back burner, especially having fun with no consequences or guilt. I’d never realized it really … until now.
Jack played his last game at Angel Stadium to a screaming, sold-out crowd. My parents showed up for the first half of the game before my mom complained about a migraine coming on and needed to leave. My dad offered to stay, but I told him that someone needed to drive Mom home and I wasn’t leaving. He nodded before taking her by the hand. It was nice to share this moment with them, however briefly, and I thanked them for coming.
Chance gave them both huge hugs and kisses on the cheek. He loved my parents and that honestly made me happy. No matter how they’d disappointed me in the past, I wanted my son to have a good relationship with them. They weren’t bad people at heart and I knew that. My dad seemed to be making an effort, and had been a man of his word lately. I figured now was as good a time as any to start mending those parental fences.
When the game ended, every single person in the stands rose to their feet and gave Jack a standing ovation. They chanted “Carter” throughout the innings and I was in tears pretty much the entire night.
Chance didn’t understand why I was crying, but he loved watching his dad pitch. His eyes were so focused and intense and I recognized that gleam. I was certain we had a future ball player on our hands. Although every time the crowd screamed for Jack, Chance covered his ears and exclaimed, “It’s too loud!”
Knowing this was the last time I’d ever be in this stadium watching Jack play made me want to throw up. The life we’d always known up until now was ending and I had no idea what to expect.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. It wasn’t that hard to think back to the time when Jack broke his hand and how mean he’d become. There was a part of me that was terrified to even entertain the idea of him acting like that again. What if he completely changed after tonight? What if he hated being free from baseball and didn’t know what to do with himself?
I worried.
But all I could do was hope he’d made his decision for the right reasons and that he never blamed or resented me or Chance for them.
Melissa reached over and grabbed my hand. “It will be fine. ”
“What will?”
“I know what you’re thinking. You’re worried. Your face always does this little crinkle thing right here,” she pointed at the bridge of my nose, “when you’re worried. It will be fine. Jack will be fine. ”
“What if he hates me and thinks I ruined his life?”
“Do you hate him and think he ruined your life?” she fired back.
I frowned at her hard. “No. Why would I think that?”
“Because you had to quit your job and move out here to be with him. You haven’t worked in almost five years. Do you blame him for that?”
“Not at all. ”
“He won’t either. ”
I closed my eyes and knew she was right. “Thanks, Melis. ”
“I don’t know why you don’t just talk to me in the first place. You’d save yourself a lot of brow-furrowing. ”
I chuckled. “Remind me next time. ”
