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Jack used to tolerate the madness when he was single, but now that he was chasing Cassie, he had no patience for the fangirls. His body language completely changed, more closed off, and he got a little meaner.
He’d also started spending more time at Cassie’s apartment, which meant that both Cassie and Melissa saw my brother more than I did. I wasn’t too upset, though, because I saw how happy he was, and I’d never seen him like that before.
On campus, the four of us became pretty much inseparable. At lunchtime in the student union one day, I saw Jack putting an overfilled tray of food on the table that we shared, and I made my way over with my own lunch tray to join him, Cassie, and Melissa.
Before I could get there, a sorority girl named Andrea stopped me with a hand on my arm. “When is your brother going to dump that girl?”
I pulled away from her. “Hopefully never,” I said with a smirk before walking away. I’d never understand these girls.
As I neared the table, Jack was saying, “Cass, I don’t ever want to hurt you, but I can’t promise you that I’ll never screw up or make you mad.”
“He’s good at pissing people off. Isn’t that right, big brother?” I smirked down at Jack, and he took a halfhearted swipe at me before I set my tray down next to him.
“That’s the rumor.” He nodded with a smile, but Cassie didn’t look pleased.
“Plus, if he pushes you away, then you won’t be the one who left him. He’ll be the one who made you leave,” I added a little too helpfully.
Jack glared at me before looking back at Cassie. My insight into his motivations clearly struck a nerve.
“I don’t plan on going anywhere,” Cassie said as she looked into his eyes. “So don’t try to make me.”
Melissa frowned at both of them. “Jesus, I’ve never met two people more scared to let someone love them than the two of you.” Her gaze pinged between them, making her ponytail swing from side to side. “And don’t even try to deny it. You’re both all messed up from your stupid parents.”
She lifted her hand in Cassie’s direction. “Cassie here, with her dad’s constant lies and inability to follow through on even the simplest, most mundane thing, has been disappointed and let down most of her life
.”
Then she pointed at my brother. “And you, with your mom up and leaving, telling you it was your fault because you were a bad kid. You’re convinced that no one will ever stick around, that eventually they’ll leave you too. And somewhere in your twisted, screwed-up psyche, you probably think you deserve it.”
And me, I just sat there slack-jawed that Melissa had the guts to bring up something so private in such a public place, and then throw it in my brother’s face. Apparently I wasn’t the only one stunned into silence; no one else said a word.
Thank God this wasn’t my fault. Jack told me that Melissa had dragged our story out of him late one night, and that he had felt okay with her knowing. I wondered if he was regretting that decision right about now.
Melissa took a quick breath and then delivered her final assessment. “You’re both so screwed up alone, that together you’re like the perfect mess.”
I sat there absorbing her words, even though they weren’t meant for me, and wondered how much of what she said might be true.
Will I behave the same as Jack when I give my heart away?
Cassie recovered first, but her feelings were clearly hurt. “That’s an attractive analogy. Thanks for saying I’m screwed up,” she snapped.
Jack reached for Cassie. “I’ll be the perfect mess with you anytime.”
She quickly swiped under her eye and leaned her head against his shoulder. A deep sigh escaped her. “Melissa just doesn’t know anything about having messed-up parents. Hers are perfect. She can’t relate.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault I won the parent lottery.” Melissa eyed Cassie. “Plus, we both know I’m not strong enough to deal with the shit you’ve dealt with. I would’ve had a nervous breakdown by now. I could never handle everything your dad’s put you through.”
Cassie released a small laugh, but it was enough to ease the tension at the table. I was thankful for the reprieve.
“I don’t know if it’s because I’m strong or because I’ve gotten really good at turning off my emotions,” she added in a low voice.
“It’s definitely both,” Melissa said before turning toward my brother again. “And, Jack, I’ve never seen anyone completely shut off the way this one can.” She nodded in Cassie’s direction. “If you push her too far, she’ll flick off like a light switch. It’s scary.”
“Really? That’s impressive,” he teased, and I stayed quiet, taking it all in.
“You won’t feel that way if she does it to you,” Melissa said, her face the scary kind of serious. “Trust me.”
“Well, I hope I never have to see it.”
