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After a deep exhale, I stared into the distance, into the deep orange glow of the setting sun, towards the West.
Towards Dyson.
“Yes,” I said, at last. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
AVA
Even though I hated having to put off my conversation with Simon, I knew how upset he would be. The last thing I wanted to do was leave home right after telling him. Instead, I decided to wait until I returned from Pomona. I didn’t like keeping secrets from people, least of all him, but I felt as if I had no choice.
Late the next afternoon, I arrived in California, and after picking up a rental car, I drove to Dyson’s childhood home. His mother asked me to park down the street and walk up to the house, in case Dyson happened to see.
Walking along a sidewalk that led to their home, I noticed the front door open. Mary and Dyson’s brother, Chance, exited and walked towards me. We met about halfway up the walk to their house. We hugged and exchanged greetings briefly before Mary began to speak.
“I’m so glad you could come, Ava. I know that I was short with you on the phone. I didn’t mean to be.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine. I understand. I’m not upset at all, and I’m happy to be here.”
Chance stood there with his arms crossed. “I don’t know if I’d go saying that just yet. He’s in a pretty foul mood.”
I looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
Mary also glanced in her son’s direction for turning back towards me. “You’ll see soon enough.”
I nodded and looked towards the driveway. It appeared to circle around the back of the house.
“Where’s Dyson now?”
Chance nodded and gestured with his thumb behind him. “He’s in the garage, working on one of our motorcycles.”
“Okay,” I began, smoothing out the lines of my clothes for a moment. “Can I… Should I go back there now?”
Mary and Chance looked at one another.
“Well, that’s why you’re here, right?” Chance said, winking at me, looking every bit like Dyson in that instant.
Straightening my posture, I nodded, “Yes. Well… wish me luck.”
The two of them stepped aside, and I began to walk away.
“Hey, Ava.” Chance called out.
I did half-turn over my shoulder and looked at him. “Yeah?”
“If you need me, I’ll be right inside the house.”
I frowned. “I’m not so sure I like the sound of that.”
He waved me off. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s just that he can be a hothead sometimes. That’s all.”
Before I turned to walk away, I replied, “Yes I’m well aware of that. Thanks Chance.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Less than a minute later, I made my way around the back of the house. Their home sat at the end of a cul-de-sac and backed up to a large open area. Standing there, I imagined brothers Dyson and Chance riding motorcycles and getting into who knows what kind of trouble out in those wide spaces. Suddenly, a banging noise from inside the garage brought me back into awareness.
I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to prepare myself for whatever might happen. My steps came slowly at first, but I reminded myself of what had to be done. Before long, I began to march in the direction of the garage.
As I circled around the rear of it, the inside came into view. Everywhere I looked, there were parts to bikes, motorcycles, cars. Almost anything that you could ride or drive looked to be there. In the background, loud music thumped. And then, right in the middle of all of it, I saw Dyson. I entered, staring at him.
Wearing only a pair of beat up old jeans, Dyson hovered over a motorcycle chassis. Tugging at the end of a long wrench, he flexed his bicep with each crank. His muscles glimmered with a sheen of grease, sweat and effort. While I watched him, I remembered the feel of his powerful hands on my body. Amid all the craziness, I’d buried the need he’d awoken within me. I felt the most inopportune sensation between my thighs.
Focus, Ava. Focus.
Just then, Dyson lifted his head and looked right at me. Reaching around his backside, he produced a rag and swiped it across his forehead. I stood there, looking at him, without saying a word.
He began to walk in my direction, wiping his hands with the same rag. Just before he reached me, Dyson picked up the remote control to the stereo and turned it down.
“What are you doing here, Ava?”
Every cell in my body yearned to reach out and consume him. Overcome with lust, I barely managed a response.
“I, um, I came here because…” I began, trying to keep my mind clear.
Dyson sensed my discomfort. He took the opportunity to lean against the doorway of the garage. “Because…?”
I summoned the last bit of determination I had. “I came here for you. I came here because I believe in you, and I want you to race again. I want you back out there doing what you love.”
He nodded and tucked the rag in the front pocket of his jeans.
“Okay,” he began, crossing his arms at his chest. “That sounds good. Now how about you tell me why you’re really here? If someone from the team sent you, I’m not interested.”
Whatever attraction I felt dissipated after his comment. In its place, the frustration I’d experienced with him in recent days returned.
“Why do you say things like that to me? I’m being honest with you. No one sent me.”
Dyson looked at me for a second and nodded.
“You’re right, Ava. I shouldn’t have said that.”
After he finished speaking, Dyson shoved himself away from the wall and turned his back on me, walking in the direction of his motorcycle. For a second or two, I watched him before speaking.
“So what? So that’s it? You’re just going to quit? Just like that?”
Without turning to face me, he replied, “Yep. Just like that.”
When he finished speaking, he reached for his wrench and resumed work on the motorcycle. Biting my lip, I marched towards him, moving as quickly as my legs would carry me. I walked around the other side of the motorcycle and stopped, snapping my hands to my hips and scowling down at him.
Sensing my presence, Dyson stopped mid-twist and looked up at me.
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what’?” I began, glaring at him. “You are second in the points race behind Gunter. You have a chance to become the Formula One champion. Doesn’t that mean anything? What the hell has happened to you? Why are you… ”
Dyson slammed the wrench on the ground. It sparked on impact. “Just shut up, Ava! Shut the hell up right now! Don’t talk to me about what’s at stake! Fuck!”
I recoiled from him. I happened to glance up for a fraction of a second and see Chance standing in the entrance of the garage. Dyson hadn’t noticed. I shook my head, and he stepped out of view. Eventually, Dyson’s rage began to dissipate. Leaning against the chassis, he looked at me.
“It’s not what you think it is, Ava. All I ever wanted to do, my entire life, was to be the fastest man out there.”
He paused, looking away from me. Shaking his head, Dyson reached down and grabbed hold of the throttle on the motorcycle before he continued.
“I love the cars. I love being part of the team. I love winning. But, the sport isn’t about speed. It’s about weak men controlling what men with ability can do.”
He glanced at me. I returned his stare but didn’t speak, content to listen instead.
“They’re all too petrified of the consequences that come with pushing the envelope. They don’t care about racing, they care about the next race, the sponsors, and the money. It’s just not my world anymore, Ava. I’m done, and you’re wasting your time.”
AVA
I stood there listening to him, trying to understand.
But he was someone who had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I didn’t. I never had. All he had to do was get out there and do what he did best. At least he didn’t have to rely on anyone else. In spite of everything I tried, I’d failed.
Glaring at him, I decided I’d had enough of his self-pity.
I closed the distance between us right around the time he picked up the wrench again. He turned, I’m sure to begin working on the motorcycle once more. But before he could take a single step, I snatched the wrench from his grasp and threw it aside.
“You’re going to listen to what I have to say, Dyson.”
He scoffed. “Or what?”
Without thinking, the response came to my lips, somewhere from deep inside. “Or you’ll never see me again! Okay? You asshole!”
Dyson nodded and leaned against the motorcycle chassis.
Taking that as my cue, I began, “You’ve been sabotaging yourself.”
He frowned and looked at me like I was insane.
“You know how I know? Once you were close enough in the points race to beat Gunter, you started redlining it in practice and qualifying. Didn’t you? If they kick you off the team, then you have a built-in excuse for why you keep losing to him.”
No sooner had the words tumbled from my lips than Dyson stood upright, nearly launching himself from his lean against the bike.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Ava! You have no idea what it’s like to live life on the edge.”
I stepped towards him, reaching up and poking my finger in the center of his chest.
