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Not that it mattered.
Dieter took notice of my pause. “Do you understand, Ava?”
“Yes, Dieter, I do.”
“I hope this news is not too difficult for you. We’ve enjoyed having you travel with the team. You’re exceptional at what you do, and I know you’ve got a bright future ahead of you.”
And even though it was upsetting, I felt gratitude towards him for giving me the job in the first place, not to mention the kind words.
“Thank you, Dieter. I’ll be fine.”
Dieter remained silent for a moment. “Very well. I’ll see to it that the last of your payment is sent to you right away.”
I thanked him again, and a few moments later we hung up. I glanced back towards Mrs. Marberry’s office. She sat at her desk, by the looks of it, doing paperwork.
Was it even worth going back in there and talking to her?
I slipped my phone back inside of my purse. After repositioning the strap over my shoulder, I chewed my lip, trying to decide what to do next. Just then, another thought occurred to me.
Now that I was off the team, would I ever hear from Dyson again? The way we left things, I doubted it. And besides, after the way he’d been acting I wasn’t sure I even wanted that anymore. Maybe he was better off with the Anastasias and Svetlanas of the world.
I wasn’t a Grid Girl, and I never would be.
AVA
I turned in the direction of Mrs. Marberry’s office and began to walk towards it. Even though it looked like Simon wouldn’t be attending the school anymore, I didn’t see any reason to leave things in a bad way between us.
I knocked on the door.
Mrs. Marberry stopped what she was doing and looked up at me. “Ms. Walters… I hope everything is okay?”
“What?” I replied, confused by what she meant.
“Your phone call. I trust it was nothing urgent.”
I shook my head. “Oh that. Yes, everything is fine. I apologize for the interruption, but I had to take it.”
Mrs. Marberry smiled at me. “No need to apologize.”
I stood there in the doorway.
“Was there something else you wanted to discuss with me, Ms. Walters?”
“No. I just want to be absolutely sure that there’s nothing that can be done for Simon. I’m willing to do anything.”
Shaking her head, Mrs. Marberry replied, “I wish there were, I really do. But, as I’ve explained, I’m afraid there isn’t. As much as we enjoy having Simon as a student, this simply comes down to a matter of policy. And unfortunately, my hands are tied.”
Exhaling, I approached Mrs. Marberry’s desk, extending my hand in her direction.
“I want to thank you again for taking time to talk to me today. I know you’re very busy.”
Mrs. Marberry stood from her chair and took my hand in hers. “You’re more than welcome, Ms. Walters. Of course, I’m hopeful you’ll be able to work with the state and finalize the adoption of Simon. You’ve still got a bit of time before the enrollment deadline.”
“Yes, I know,” I said, releasing my hand from her grasp. “But I’m not optimistic about it.”
Mrs. Marberry smiled and came around the desk. A few moments later we said our goodbyes, and I left her office. Making my way back to my car, I couldn’t believe how badly things turned out. I had no choice now but to give Simon the bad news. How would I break it to him?
There was no doubt in my mind he’d be devastated. Crossing the parking lot towards my car, sadness crept to the back of my throat.
Poor Simon.
All I’d ever wanted was the best for him and I’d failed. I covered my mouth, trying my best to not begin bawling outside the school. Yet, the pressure had built so much in the past few weeks, I couldn’t hold back my frustration any longer. Reaching my car, I felt my face wrinkle with ugliness.
Heated rivulets streaked down my cheeks and fell into my purse as I fumbled for my keys. A few seconds later, I managed to get inside my car, and at that point, sadness gripped me. With my head in my hand, I sat and wept, the disappointment sinking in and overwhelming me.
I had no idea how long I sat there. Five minutes, ten…
Eventually however, I dried my eyes with some tissues I’d pulled from my purse and pulled out of the school parking lot for the last time. For the time being, I’d spent all the emotion I could on Simon. When I would have to tell him later, more would surely follow.
Driving away from the school, my worries shifted from Simon to the others I still faced. There was the matter of returning to Dr. Wilcox’s office. I hoped he was sincere about giving me my old position back. I had a little bit of a financial cushion, but not much of one.
And now that the team let me go, my mind drifted back to thoughts of Dyson. I didn’t want to just give up on seeing where things went, even though it did seem one-sided between us at the moment.
Maybe I’d been too hard on him. Maybe not. Hell, I didn’t know.
After all, racing was all he’d ever known, and in the span of a week, it had all been ripped away from him. Even though I know I did the right thing to protect his health, the more I tried to look at it from his perspective, the more I began to understand why he’d been acting out.
If I could just talk to him for a few minutes, I could try and explain things from my point of view one last time. Sniffling the last bit of sadness away, I reached for my phone, pulling it out of my purse. Seconds later, I dialed his number. After the fourth ring, a woman answered.
The voice was familiar. It was Dyson’s mom.
“Mary?” I began. “Why are you answering Dyson’s phone? Is he okay?”
“Hello, Ava,” she replied, her voice sounded stilted, like she forced herself to be polite.
Confused by her tone of voice, I continued, “What’s the matter? Where are you?”
Dyson’s mother exhaled into the receiver. “I’m at my house, in Pomona.”
“Is Dyson there with you?”
Mary cleared her throat. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea if I talk to you about my son, considering everything that’s happened.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. “What do you mean, Mary? Are you talking about his suspension?”
“Yes… and no,” she began. “Listen, Ava, I really liked you when we met. But this is business, and Dyson got suspended from the team you work for.”
Liked me? As in past tense?
“Mary, I don’t know what Dyson told you, but I had nothing to do with his suspension. It was my recommendation for him to come out of the race when he was suffering from dizziness. But the reason he got kicked off the team was…”
Mary interrupted me. “Dyson is my son, Ava. I know he’s not perfect but I love him and he’s hurting right now. All he’s ever wanted to do is drive. Without that, he’s lost.”
I swallowed hard, wondering if she’d hear me out much longer. “I understand, Mary. I want to help if I can, but I need to talk to him.”
“No, no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Mary, please.”
Dyson’s mother fell silent for several seconds. Cars passing me on either side on the freeway were the only sounds I was aware of while I waited for her to say something, anything.
She exhaled. “Why do you care so much, Ava? Other than Marco, you’re the only person from the team that’s phoned. All of his so-called friends… When everything turned against him, where did everyone go? He’s angry and hurting. Can’t you understand that?”
As soon as she uttered those words, I realized I’d been ignoring the truth for a long time now. It may have been foolish, emotional, and above all else, a really bad idea, but I had deep feelings for Dyson.
It tore me apart to think of him in so much pain. The thought of everyone turning their backs on him angered me. But, at the same time, I didn’t feel comfortable telling Mary something I hadn’t even told Dyson.
“Mary, I don’t know what you want me to say,” I paused, searching for any words that might help to convince her, but none came.
“Okay, Ava,” she said. “I’m going to go.”
“No, Mary! Please wait…”
I heard the sound of her breathing on the other end of the line. She hadn’t hung up. I swallowed hard, not believing what I was about to say.
“I’m,” I began, clearing my throat. “In love with him. I love your son, Mary.”
Once again, she exhaled deeply into the receiver. “Ava, I already knew that. I knew that from the moment I met you. I need to know if it’s strong enough to get Dyson through this. Are you strong enough?”
Her revelation shocked me. If it was that obvious to her, it must have been to everyone else, Dyson included.
I shook my head.
“Honestly, Mary, I don’t know if I’m strong enough for anyone, anymore. But I do know I’m telling you the truth.”
“Okay,” she said, pausing for a moment. “If that’s true, you need to come here - to Pomona. If Dyson finds out that I’ve been talking to you, he’ll take off. This is the only way. Can you come?”
“I can try.” I began, hurrying to explain. “It’s just that my nephew, his school, my job, everything is terrible right now and…”
“No, Ava. That’s not good enough. I need to know. Can you come?”
