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Shaking my head, I replied, “I’m sorry, Grandpa. I’m, um, not following.”
“Since your father is no longer alive, you’re the last of the Sinclair line, Grey. I was in the same position when I was your age. The last Sinclair. You must not allow that to come to pass.”
I nodded. “I understand. There’s plenty of time to remedy the situation.”
“And that’s your problem, Grey. When I was your age, I thought I’d live forever also, but as you can see, that’s not the case.”
“Okay,” I began. “So what is it you want from me?”
“Grey, I’m asking a lot of you here to act as trustee. I realize I am. I know you don’t need any money I’d leave to you, but others in the family aren’t in the same position. They would crumble without my charity.”
“I agree, Grandpa. So what does this have to do with the condition you talked about?”
He cleared his throat. Then, without another moment of hesitation, he said something which caused my mouth to fall open in disbelief.
“If you do not marry within one year of my death, the entire fortune will go to charity. Your relatives, including your mother, will be left with nothing.”
Huh?
Like I mentioned, most of the people living off my grandfather’s wealth were goddamn charity cases as far as I was concerned. If not for the love and respect I had for this man, I wouldn’t give two shits about what happened to any of them. I made my own way; they should have to make their own. The only possible exception would be my mother. Pain in the ass though she was, I’d still never let anything bad happen to her.
“Grandpa, I guess I don’t understand the reason for the ultimatum. Where’s this coming from?”
“Because without it Grey, I know you’ll wind up alone. No wife, no children, a gilded lonely bachelor. A man who lives his life solely to please his desires is a man who has wasted his life. More than any money I could ever give to you, it is this free advice that would be worth more than all the billions you could ever hope to make. How much more do you need, my boy?”
I shrugged. “None. I get it. But Grandpa, I um… this is… not an easy thing you’re asking me to do. You of all people should know what I’m dealing with on a regular basis. I work non-stop, travel constantly. It’s not realistic to expect anyone would want to be in a situation like that if they’re considering being married, having kids and so on and…”
He leaned forward and pointed his index finger at me. “Oh horseshit, Grey. Don’t try that with me. Listen, I’m trying to teach you an important lesson here. It’s one that I learned far too late in life but there’s still time for you.”
“I appreciate what you’re saying Grandpa, but have you ever thought about the fact I might be happy with the way things are in my life?”
Still sitting up, he nodded, “Are you? Be honest with me son.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I mean, there’s always some bullshit of one kind or another with work but that’s the way it is.”
“I wasn’t asking you about work, Grey,” he began. “Are you happy? Take all of it away. The money, the power, every bit of it. What’s left for you? That’s the question you have to answer ‘yes’ to, if you want to find lasting happiness in this life.”
Taking a seat down at the foot of the bed again, I exhaled. “And you’re suggesting I’m going to find such a thing in what… a wife?”
“No not in her or any children you have. Not in them but in the experience of it. That’s the key to real living, son. If you don’t have a family to share all of those things with, the good and bad, then you don’t have anything. You will die broke even though you’ve got billions.”
Look, I’d have to be a complete asshole to not get where he was coming from, but this wasn’t something we’d ever discussed. Not a single time. I loved the old man, but I felt indignant at the same time. I decided to push him a bit.
“What if I refuse, Grandpa?”
“Simple,” he said with a curt nod of his head. “All the money goes to charity as soon as I die. No grace period.”
To be truthful, a part of me was completely comfortable with that outcome. Still, he had me confused.
I waved my hand in a dismissive manner. “Just like that? You’d cut them all off?”
“I’m not the one cutting them off, Grey. You are. You would have to live with that on your conscience.” He leaned back against the pillows once again and continued, “But I have no concern about that outcome. None.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I know you’re a moral man Grey, and when the time comes, you’ll do what’s required.”
None of this sat well with me. What the hell was I supposed to say to him? No? This was as close to a dying wish as you could get. Even so, the whole idea seemed ludicrous. Me? Married inside of a goddamn year? There was about a one hundred percent chance of that not occurring.
Even so, I really had no choice when it came to doing as he asked. And yeah, I could take care of my mother with no problem, but she’d never let the family go destitute. In the end, I’d wind up having to pay for every last one of them and I couldn’t stand the thought of it.
I looked down at my Grandpa’s frail body. A hollowness entered my stomach. How could I turn my back on my hero?
It was simple. I couldn’t, and no amount of rational thought could compel me otherwise.
Fuck.
I pursed my lips as I looked down at him, defeated. “You’re a crazy old man. You know that?”
He chuckled. “That’s what they tell me.”
“So… one year?” I asked. “No chance I could negotiate a longer term?”
“No, Grey,” he began. “This isn’t something you should put off. Besides, one year is plenty of time, if you focus. That is, of course, unless you are already involved? If you are, I would assume that if there was a woman of that status in your life, I’d know about it. Wouldn’t I?”
I nodded. “You would.”
“Any potential candidates?”
Even if I brought Maddie here to satisfy his curiosity, what kind of message would that send to her? A pretty goddamn confusing one. In one way or another, I’d all but told her I wasn’t the type to settle down. And in spite of a hiccup or three along the way, it seemed to me as if she’d more or less come to accept the fact. Hell, even if I wanted to bring her, I doubted she’d come. Anyway, it wasn’t worth getting into with him. No good would come of it.
“There’s always potential, Grandfather. Always.”
GREY
I’d slept like utter shit in recent weeks. I hate not sleeping well. Drives me nuts. It’s funny. You’d think with all the headaches I deal with every day, not much would get to me. And most of the time, not much does.
But things weren’t right. And I couldn’t figure out why.
I stood in the kitchen of my condo overlooking downtown Chicago. The sun was just on the rise. I loved this view. There was nothing else like it. It’s one of those things I’d pay almost any amount of money to keep. Like oxygen. Or water.
Sharp angles stabbed skyward off the towering glass and steel structures, creating all sorts of goddamn colors. Of all the shades my eyes detected most days, blood orange was my favorite. It’s a risky color. Like pleasure. Too much is not good and too little, well, it’s not worth discussing.
Yellow is a friendly shade.
Red, dangerous.
But mix the two together and you get the best of both. Go ahead, I dare you to name one thing in the color of blood orange which you’d turn down. No one would. There isn’t anything. It’s the hue of desire, ambition and lust. It’s all of those things we aren’t supposed to want but wouldn’t feel alive if we didn’t.
Bah. Fuck it.
I poured another cup of coffee as I watched the city yawn to life. I lifted the mug to my lips, and the aromatic steam wafted into my nose, awakening my senses. I read somewhere humans love the smell of coffee because the scent of it triggers endorphins, pleasure centers or some such. Who the hell knows? Could be a pile of horseshit. After a hot swallow, I placed the cup down on the counter.
I glanced down at the opaque blackness as it sloshed back and forth in the cup. Maddie was the only woman I ever met who liked her coffee black. And the stronger the better. No idea why the thought occurred to me. But as I took another sip of the bitter black liquid, I did think of her. I always did now, when I had my coffee in the morning. Thinking of her was almost as much of a ritual as any other I had. It puzzled the shit out of me. Bothered me too.
Fuck that also.
Maddie aside, when it came to my grandfather, difficult though it was, that’s life. You know? You’re born, you live, you die. Plain and simple. Of course it was hard and will be even harder when it finally happens but it’s one of those things you just accept. Still, all that talk of his. Not so much the money, dealing with the trust and the like but all the other things he discussed.
I took another thick gulp of the dark heat.
A wife, kids. Jesus Christ.
Intellectually, I understood where he was coming from, but what he wanted for me, well, it sure as shit didn’t seem possible. The closest thing I had to what he described was Maddie.
