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“Cal,” Scott cut in, his eyes still on my face. “Maybe you should explain yourself better. I have a feeling TJ’s wondering why he’s been cut out of the loop on this.”
Scott had always been the most perceptive of the group, which always made me wonder why he couldn’t see through Victoria’s bullshit … Maybe he didn’t want to.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I just got so excited to finally tell you, that I should’ve explained that,” Cal said earnestly. “I want to open a body shop, with the focus being on restoration, and I want you to be my partner.”
I felt my stomach drop and I had to put my beer on the table so I wouldn’t drop it.
“Me?”
“Fuck yeah, you,” Cal said with a laugh. “You’re the best, TJ, you know that. Shit, you had more people request you by name than any other gear head at the shop. You kick ass with restoration, and nobody loves the job like you do.”
“I don’t know, Cal, I could see you wanting me to work for you, but with you, as your partner … I don’t really think I’m cut out for that.” I felt nerves starting to course through me, and I had to fight the urge to bolt.
“Work for me?” Cal asked, confusion all over his face. “No … Look, we can do this. Like I said, I’ve talked to Brock, and the bank, plus Scott and Sasha have both expressed interest in being silent partners and helping us with startup costs.”
“Sasha? She’s in on this?” I asked, the nerves turning to anger once again.
“What? No, I mean, Shelly mentioned it to her the other day, and she offered to help. She wants to be a part of it, but that’s as in on it as she is,” Cal explained.
Unable to fight the urge, I stood up and shook my head apologetically. “Look, I’ve gotta go.”
“What?” Cal asked, standing and holding his hand out as if he wanted to stop me. “No, look, I don’t know if I’m not explaining this right, or what, but you’re taking this the wrong way. I wasn’t trying to cut you out, I just wanted to have everything planned out and ready, so that when I told you, you couldn’t say no.”
I hated disappointing my friends. I hated the moments when the old feelings of worthlessness came back and took over completely. I hated the fact that I felt betrayed by the only people in my life that I’d ever felt I could count on.
“Sorry, man, I can’t do this now,” I tried to explain, before turning and walking out.
Chapter 16 – Sasha
I was emotionally drained from dinner with my father and all I wanted to d
o was get out of my clothes, slide in to be with TJ, and forget about everything except the way he made my body feel ... I mean, damn, we’d barely scratched the surface of our sexual relationship and the guy had me turned out. But when I opened the door to see TJ sitting in the darkened living room with a glass of amber liquid in his hand, I forgot about my miserable evening.
I shut the door quietly, set my things on the small table by the door, and walked over to kneel in front of him. I placed my hands on his knees, and my heart lurched when I looked into his eyes.
“TJ,” I prompted softly.
His eyes flickered to mine, then shifted back to the glass, which he brought to his lips.
“How was your night?” he asked dully.
“Miserable,” I replied. “How was yours?”
He shrugged and curled his lip, as if he were attempting to smile, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it. TJ leaned forward, bringing his face close to mine, and asked softly, “Did you know that Cal was opening his own business, with you and Scott as backers?”
I suddenly felt defensive, even though I wasn’t completely sure why. “Shelly mentioned something to me the other day about Cal wanting to open his own shop, and I said that I’d like to help. She said he was going to talk to you and Scott about it, but that’s the last I heard. Why?”
“Why? That’s a good question … Why? Why would my best friend be opening his own business and I’m the last one to hear about it? Why does he consult with Brock and Scott about opening a body shop, but leaves me out of it? Am I that fucking stupid? That fucking useless, that none of my friends thought to include me? And then … When the place has been picked out, and you and Scott have offered up your money, then Cal says that he wants me to be his partner?”
“TJ, of course he wants you to be his partner. You aren’t stupid or useless, and there’s no way that Cal thinks you are. You guys have been working together for years, he wouldn’t leave you out of something like this,” I said, trying to ease the pain and anger that was pouring out of him.
“But that’s exactly what he did, Sasha,” TJ responded sadly. “What do I have to offer anyway, right? I don’t have the money, the support system, or the fucking stones to open a business. It doesn’t matter …”
I took the glass out of his hands and placed it on the table, then I scooted in and took his face in my hands. I wanted to slap the shit out of him, because his defeatist attitude was really pissing me off, but I knew TJ had a lot of insecurities due to his childhood, and he never gave me shit when I acted like a bitch, so I wasn’t going to give him shit for acting like one.
“Babe, you’re pissing me off,” I said calmly. “Stop talking about yourself like that. You may not have money or a fancy education, but you have talent, TJ. Raw fucking talent. I’ve seen you restore cars. Seen how you turned something that looked like an old rusted-out piece of shit into a gleaming source of pride. If Cal didn’t bring you in on the details, I’m sure he had his reasons, but I know for a fact that none of those reasons involved you not being good enough. C’mon, TJ, you know better than that shit. Forget how you’re feeling right now and think … We are all your friends, your family, we aren’t your parents. We love and value you for who you are, you know that.”
TJ closed his eyes and I stood, pushing him back on the couch so I could sit next to him. I picked up his glass and took a drink, wincing when the liquid hit my throat with a hot splash. I handed the glass back to him and laid my head on his shoulder.
