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“This isn’t about my friends, it’s about us…” I began, my tone regretful.
“Things have been going great the last few weeks, Scott. What is wrong with us?” Victoria closed her eyes as she took a generous swig.
I walked closer to her and held out my hands, but stopped myself from touching her when she opened her eyes and pinned me with a stare.
“Things are never great with us, Victoria. We’ve been going through the motions for years,” I said, hoping to get her to see that what I was saying was true. “I think we’ve been moving in the direction that was logical for a relationship, without truly thinking of what marriage between us would actually be like.”
“I know exactly what marriage between us would be like,” Victoria argued. “Look at our parents’ marriages … We would have a full life, full of affluence and prestige. You will work your way up the ladder at Brandt Industries, and I will be the perfect wife. We will attend parties, volunteer for charities, and contribute to society. What about that sounds bad to you?”
I looked at the frustration on her face, and knew that to her, what she described really did sound like the perfect marriage. To me … it sounded like a nightmare.
“We’ve been over this before, and, yes, marriage between us looks great on paper, but I’ve realized something. Not once did you mention love, happiness, or children. Aren’t those things important to you?” I asked sincerely. “Don’t you think we both deserve a marriage filled with those things? With passion? Not just a superficial life?”
“Superficial?” Victoria repeated, her cheeks getting red with anger. “There’s more to life than emotion. Passions burn out and end in heartache. What I’m talking about is a marriage of companionship and understanding. A relationship that will endure.”
“I can’t live like that,” I responded. “I don’t want a marriage like my parents. A loveless marriage of convenience. You know that … And I think we’ve lost sight of what our relationship is turning into. Yes, we were happy in the beginning, but we’ve both changed over the years, and I don’t think we’ve grown together; I think we’ve grown apart. I need more.”
Victoria’s face crumbled with hurt, and I was able to see the girl behind the mask that I’d fallen for when we first met. It seemed so long ago, and I sometimes forgot that there was ever a time that Victoria and I were happy, and almost giddy with love. That was before my job became my focus, and before Victoria began to act like my mother.
“Are you saying that you don’t love me?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
My heart pounded in my chest, and I ached for the couple we once were.
“No, I don’t.” I knew I had to rip off the Band-Aid. “I don’t like the person I am with you, and I can’t go through with this marriage.”
Victoria’s face hardened, and the glimpse of the girl I once loved was gone, replaced with the woman I knew I could never be happy with.
“Fine.” She set down her glass and took the engagement ring off of her finger, holding it out and dropping it in my open palm. “I’m not going to beg you to take me back this time. I need a man who knows wha
t he wants, and doesn’t jump every time his friends tell him to. I know my worth, even if you don’t. Goodbye, Scott.”
She turned around, her back rigid, and stared out the window into the garden outside.
I thought about trying to comfort her, but realized doing so would only make this situation harder, so I turned and walked back down the hallway to the door. I paused, taking the key to her condo off of my key ring, and placing it on the tall table by the front entrance.
When I was hallway to my apartment, the relief hit me … I was free.
It suddenly felt as if a year’s worth of pressure had been lifted off my shoulders, and I felt myself grinning like a loon.
I bounded up the stairs to my apartment, a laugh escaping me when I slid on the top step. Not even the sight of my mother’s number on my phone as it started ringing could dampen my happiness.
“Hello, Mother,” I said, answering the phone as I let myself into my place.
“Scott,” her shrill voice barked back at me. “What is this I hear of you breaking it off with Victoria? Must we go through this again?”
“Thanks for your concern, Mother. I’m doing fine,” I answered sarcastically.
“Why should I be concerned about you, when it’s Victoria who’s humiliated and devastated?”
“Victoria will be just fine, Mother,” I replied dryly. “I can’t talk now, I’ll see you this weekend.”
“Don’t you dare…” my mother got out before I silenced the call.
I emptied my pockets, laying the contents on my dresser, as I took off my suit and laid it across the back of a chair. I pulled out some basketball trunks, leaving my things strewn about rather than putting them away. Victoria detested a cluttered space, so I’d always made sure to put things in their proper place … but, not today.
I grabbed a bag of chips and a beer, and settled down on my couch.
She’d also disapproved of eating anywhere other than the table.
