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My heart pounded painfully as I imagined all of the horrible things that could have happened to her, and I vowed that I’d make them pay, and she’d never feel unsafe again.
Chapter Twelve ~ Craig
Present Day (20 years old)
I glanced over to where Gwen was sitting on the couch, not really listening to what Scott and my parents were talking about. She was looking at me, but I could tell she wasn’t seeing me. She was thinking about something, and from the look on her face, I could tell she was stuck in the past.
I excused myself from the conversation and walked over to her.
I didn’t care if she wanted to talk to me or not, I couldn’t just ignore what I was seeing.
“Gwen?” I spoke gently as I sat next to her.
I watched as her eyes focused and she turned her head toward the sound of my voice. Her voice cracked and the pain in her eyes gutted me. “I need a minute,” she whispered.
I knew what that meant, so I pulled her to her feet and let her lean on me, without it looking like she was leaning on me, and said, “We’re going out back for a minute. School stuff.”
As I guided her out, I knew they weren’t fooled by my excuse, just like they hadn’t been fooled by anything Gwen or I had tried to conceal over the past four years. But they allowed it, just like they always did, out of respect for Gwen’s feelings. Plus, I think they thought we’d come to them when we needed to, and were willing to be patient until then.
“What made you think about it?” I asked as I shut the door behind us and led her to the railing of the deck.
Gwen’s hand reached out and fingered the cloth of my jacket.
“Shit, Gwen, I’m so sorry,” I replied with a curse when I realized what I’d done. “It was hanging in my closed and made me think of the time we won the State Championship. I’d worn this after the game, and to the party that night. I never would have worn it if I’d remembered giving it to you that night.”
“It’s okay, Craig,” Gwen said with a frown. “It’s not your fault.”
She surprised me by leaning in closer and hugging her arms around me. “You were my rock that night, and after… I don’t know how I could have forgotten that. I’ve been so childish.”
“Hey,” I replied, lifting her chin to look down into her regret-filled eyes. “You don’t need to do that. I’ve got you, you know that. No matter what.”
I pulled her tight, then lightly broached the subject that always pissed her off. “Have you given anymore thought to talking with someone?”
Gwen sighed deeply against me, then shook her head against my chest, “Not now, Craig.”
“When?” I asked stubbornly. I’d tried for years to get her to talk to someone about what had happened, but she always refused. She’d never told anyone. Not a professional, not family, not even Aliyah. The only people who knew what happened were TJ and me, and she refused to talk about it with either of us.
When she didn’t answer, I prodded, “I think it would really help you, Gwen. To work things out in your head… what you’re feeling, and maybe help you move forward.”
“I have moved forward.” Gwen pushed away from me angrily. “Do you really want to do this now? When I’ve realized what a jerk I’ve been, and am ready to put what happened between us behind me and become friends again?”
I put my hands in my hair, tugging it roughly with frustration.
“What happened?” I asked, forgetting the reason we came
out here in the first place. “I still don’t know what happened. You’ve never told me, you just disappeared without a trace. One minute we’re at a frat party together during Orientation, and the next you’re cutting me out of your life without a word.”
“Not now, Craig,” Her voice low and pleading, rather than desperate and angry like mine. The sound managed to cool me down, but the frustration and hurt remained.
“When?” I asked again. “You don’t want to talk about what happened to you with Brad, or talk about getting help, and you don’t want to talk about what happened to make you hate me… But you want to go back to being my friend? How will that work Gwen? We have to actually work through shit, in order to move on.”
Gwen put her arms back around me and looked back up at me, her eyes big and full of promise.
“We will, I swear it, just not today. Not right now.”
“You’ll tell me what happened?” I asked eager to learn, but at the same time afraid to hear what had torn us apart so quickly and effectively.
“I promise.”
