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The door opened and TJ stood there, hair disheveled, with his eyes still puffy from sleep, and a pair of boxer briefs as his only coverage.
“Craig?” TJ asked as he ran a hand over his face, as if he were trying to make sure he was actually awake.
I could imagine what I looked like. Brad had gotten a couple hits in, and I think Dave landed one on my chin, before I took him down.
“Can I come in?” I whispered, looking around the empty parking lot.
“Yeah, man, c’mon.” TJ pushed back from the door and I followed him down the small hallway and into his place. It was small, really just one room with an adjacent bathroom. His bed was unmade, since I’d obviously just woken him up, but the rest of the place was tidy.
He pressed a button on the coffee pot in the corner, then sat in a chair, indicating that I should sit in the other.
“Who worked you over?” he asked, his eyes sharpening as he took in the bruises forming on my face, arms, and hands.
“I owed a couple guys a lesson,” I started, unsure of how much I should say. “I came here because Gwen doesn’t want anyone to know what happened, and I’m gonna keep that promise, so I can’t tell you everything…” TJ leaned forward in his chair, all traces of fatigue gone. “But something happened at a party the other night, and Gwen doesn’t want Gaby, her mom… anyone, to find out. She made me promise I wouldn’t tell, but I couldn’t not do anything. So, this morning I waited at the school. I knew theses assholes, Brad and Dave, would drive together to practice. The do every day.”
I stopped talking and took a deep breath, the adrenaline still making me a little shaky.
“I’m not ashamed to say I jumped them before they knew I was there. I knew I’d need the element of surprise, since there are two of them and one of me, and it worked… mostly. They got a couple hits in, but I gave them the lesson they deserved.”
TJ closed his eyes at my last statement, and I knew he was imaging all sorts of horrible things that could’ve prompted me to fight.
He clenched his fists, then opened his eyes. “Why didn’t you get someone to go with you… to confront these guys?”
“I thought about coming to you, but they’re my age, and I figured you’d get in a lot more trouble if someone found out, than I would. I handled it.”
“What makes you think they won’t rat on you?” TJ asked, his face full of fury and concern. “This could mess up baseball for you.”
I’d thought of that, but I shook my head and explained, “They don’t want this shit getting out; it would ruin their chances too, ya know?”
“You’re sure you can’t lean on Gwen, get her to talk?”
“No.” I hung my head as I thought of how hard things had been for her the last few days. She seemed to be shutting down right before my eyes. On one hand, she was an emotional wreck, and on the other, she was trying to pretend that nothing happened. “It took all I had to convince her to go to the doctor today. She’s going this morning. Getting checked out. I plan to meet her there. I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” TJ said, rising from his chair and crossing over to his dresser. As he pulled on a pair of jeans he added, “You don’t want anyone to see you the way you look now. I’ll do what I can, and you can say you fell while running bleachers or something. I’ll go with you to check on Gwen.”
I started to argue, but he stopped me with a pointed look.
“I know you came to me to help you get fixed up, and I’ll do that. But I also know that you’re carrying a burden that’s too heavy for a sixteen-year-old kid to carry alone. You don’t have to tell me the particulars, and I’ll tell Gwen that you kept her secret, but I can fill in the blanks… You also know some of the shit I went through as a kid, so you came to me, because you know that I can relate. I know what it’s like to have your choice, your free will, taken away, and I know what it’s like to want to push that shit down and pretend that it never happened. That everything’s okay. I’ll be another available shoulder, should Gwen ever need it. Cool?”
I tried to tap down the emotion that threatened to emerge at his words, but he was right. Those were exactly the reasons I came here. I knew that TJ’s childhood was a difficult one, and that out of everyone I knew, he was the person who could help Gwen, and me, the most.
TJ grabbed a first aid kit from the garage, and got to work on cleaning out the cuts after I washed most of the blood off of me. I closed my eyes and held my breath, so I wouldn’t wince or curse when the sting of the antiseptic hit.
It seemed to take forever, but each sting of pain felt like a badge of honor.
Maybe I was wrong to take matters in to my own hands. To get in a fight, rather than turn in Brad and Dave myself, but it was the only thing I could think of to do, without going against everything Gwen had asked of me.
She was probably going to be pissed that I confronted them, but I was satisfied that they deserved every hit, kick, and elbow that they’d received. Maybe it made me a monster, but I was glad that I did what I did, and I’d take her anger, because I think deep down she’d understand why I did it, and maybe even feel some satisfaction over it herself. But what I couldn’t live with was betraying her, and I knew if I went behind her back and told someone what happened, without knowing the whole story myself, I’d be discounting the choice that she made.
And I couldn’t do that.
Gwen needed to feel like her decisions were valid. That what she wanted mattered. She needed to take control back, so I had to let her, even if I didn’t understand it.
Chapter Fifteen ~ Gwen
Present Day
(20 years old)
