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Usually, around this time, I would hear Jashae in her room, crying herself to sleep, but I didn’t hear anything. Not even the television that she would try to play, thinking that it would block out her cries. She’d gotten back hours ago from seeing Trip, and her body language screamed that something had happened, but she wouldn’t say. I was worried about my girl. So worried that one of these days I was going to suggest therapy because I felt like she was getting worse by the day.
I turned the television off in the bedroom that I was sleeping in, slipped on my house shoes, and walked down the long hallway until I was standing in front of Jashae’s bedroom door. I knocked twice, and when I didn’t get an answer, I just walked right in. She wasn’t in her bed, but from where I was standing, I could see that the bathroom door was closed. No noise came from the bathroom, but I could see a little light from under the door. I tried to turn the knob on the bathroom door, but it was locked.
“Shae? Jashae?” I called out her name, but I didn’t get an answer.
“Oh my God! I hope this girl isn’t trying to…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.
I struggled to get the door to open. What motivated me is the fact that my best friend was in that bathroom, and God only knows what was going on, so I used all of my strength this time, and I was finally able to kick the door in. I ran into the bathroom, and she was underneath the water.
“Jashaeeee! Shaeeee,” I cried, pulling her body up from the full, bubbled water that had turned cold.
I could see that she was breathing, but she was in such a deep sleep. I frantically shook her body, and in seconds, her eyes popped open. She spit out water and started coughing up a storm.
“What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is wrong with you, Shae?” I screamed, throwing the towel her way.
I was crying, yet I was so angry with her.
“I fell asleep, dammit. Why the hell are you yelling?” she yelled back as she stood up and wrapped the towel around her naked body.
“Because your dumb ass could have drowned in here. Did you take something?” I asked her, and she ignored me.
I went searching through all the cabinets in her bathroom until I finally saw what I was looking for. Everyone knew that Jashae wasn’t a deep sleeper, so for her to have fallen asleep inside the tub, it led me to believe that she was taking something. I found a prescribed bottle of Ambien, and when I read the back of it, with the instructions, all I could do was shake my head.
I went over to the toilet, and she was on my ass, trying to get it out of my hands like this shit was crack to her, but I already had the bottle open, and her little pills were going down the toilet. I quickly flushed it.
“Why the hell would you flush the pills? I need that to sleep,” she screamed and pushed me out of the way.
“No, you want that to sleep! Jashae, what are you doing to yourself? I don’t believe you fell asleep. You want to know what I think? I think your ass tried to kill yourself in here,” I yelled.
“Mahogany, if I wanted to kill myself, I would have done the shit weeks ago! You going to buy me some more of those fuckin’ pills! That’s the only thing that helps me sleep,” she kept saying.
“You hear yourself right now? Now, it’s for you to sleep, then it’ll be you taking it just to cope. Shae, that’s a drug. If you take too much of that shit, it can kill you. That’s probably what you want anyway, though, right? Think about your grandma and your daddy in this shit. They lost Vonte too, now you going to put them in a position where they got to lose you too?” I asked.
“Mahogany, stop! You don’t know what the fuck I’m going through! You don’t have kids, so I don’t expect you to relate,” she yelled.
“I don’t have to fuckin’ relate, Shae! I have a heart, and you’re my best friend so I can sympathize with your ass!” I screamed.
“Get the fuck out, please! Please, I just want to be left alone!” she yelled.
“Why? So, you can find something else to try and kill yourself with? I’m not going nowhere, Shae,” I let her know.
“Could you please stop saying that shit? I WASN’T TRYING TO KILL MYSELF!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, and she pushed me.
I lost my balance and ended up falling back and landing right in the tub. Mourning or not, I got my ass up and slapped the shit out of her. For five minutes straight, we tussled inside this big ass bathroom. She was my best friend at the end of the day, so I didn’t dog walk her ass the way I wanted to. Shae, on the other hand, she wasn’t sparing me. Slaps, punches, even her pulling my hair was all being done to me. Her towel had fallen off, and she was ass naked on top of me, trying to beat my ass.
I was high, so it felt like I was seeing double of her as I swung my arms wildly, trying to land a blow, so she could get her ass off me.
“Jashae, move! Get the hell off me!” I screamed, giving her ass one good push, and she flew off me.
Clothes were soaking wet, and my hair had only gotten wet a little bit. I threw my head back against the wall as I struggled to catch my breath. Shae was in front of me, on the floor as well, trying to put the towel back over her body as she struggled to catch he
r breath. We hadn’t fought like that since like elementary school. For five minutes, we sat in complete silence, not saying shit to each other until she finally broke the silence.
“You still hit like a bitch,” she blurted out.
I didn’t even want to laugh, but I ended up doing it anyway.
“You had the advantage. Bitch, I’m high,” I said, and for the first time in weeks, I got her to laugh.
