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“Some straight up bullshit is what happened. You know me, Ma, I’m always calling a few of my niggas just to find out what’s going on in the streets. Dino told me that Shae was all hugged up with Miami after the funeral, and it was just too much of a fuckin’ coincidence that right after he told me that, I couldn’t get a hold of Shae. I mean, her ass wasn’t answering phone calls or nothing. Eventually, when I did get her to answer the phone, I told her to come and see me, and she did.
“When I saw her, I swear I saw red. All I could do was picture her hugged up with that nigga, and I snapped. She started screaming that I hate you bullshit, and Shae ain’t never said those three words to me, so I felt like she got Miami all in her fuckin’ head, and that’s why she was acting so fuckin’ stupid. I tried to kill her fuckin’ ass in that visitation room, so they threw me in the hole for it,” I let her know.
I heard her release a sigh, and then the line went quiet for a few minutes.
“If it helps to ease your mind a little bit, I saw Shae after the funeral, and there was nothing sexual about the hug that Miami—”
“I don’t give a fuck if it was sexual or not. Fuck she hugging that nigga for? Yo, who side you on? Mine or hers? I came out your pussy, not her!” I snapped.
I tried not to disrespect my ole girl, but she was pissing a nigga off. These days, when I talked to her, it was like I could never get her to agree on shit that I said. If I went right, her ass always felt the need to go left, and I didn’t like that shit.
“And you wonder why I don’t break my fuckin’ neck to come and see you. You talk to me like I’m some bitch on the street or one of them silly bitches that you have brainwashed. Giovonni, I am your fuckin’ mother, and I don’t give a fuck how old you are, your ass will fuckin’ respect me. You’re sitting in that jail cell worrying about Miami and Jashae, when you need to be worrying about more important things, like the fact that you are serving a life sentence.
“I’m your mother, and I love you dearly, but no woman deserves what you are asking Shae—no, scratch that—what you are demanding Shae to do. We’re talking about a woman who lost her mother when she gave birth to her, a woman who lost your dumb ass based on your own selfish decisions, and not to mention the same woman who just lost her son. She deserves her happiness. You need to go ahead and let her go. You had your chance, but you blew it. Goodnight, Giovonni. I will not be the reason why you get caught with this phone.” With that, she hung up.
“Stupid ass bitch,” I mumbled.
I didn’t give a fuck about none of that shit she was hollering. I waited for about ten minutes before I dialed Shae’s number. I called that silly motha fucka over fifty times, and eventually, she’d turned her cellphone off. In the past, no matter how angry Shae was with me, she made it her duty to answer that phone. I was so mad in this fuckin’ room that I started sweating. All I could think about was what the fuck she could possibly be doing that she couldn’t answer the phone. After I calmed myself down, I called Dino.
“My nigga! I thought they took your shit,” was the first thing he said when he answered the phone.
Dino and I went way back, and I trusted this nigga with my life.
“Where you at?” I asked, skipping the greetings and getting right to the point.
“Shit, on the block chilling,” he called out.
“Circle over to Shae’s house and let me know if you see her car outside. I’m calling her stupid ass, and she’s not answering,” I let him know.
“Say less. Ima hit you back in about fifteen minutes to let you know,” he said, and I just hung up.
The whole time I waited, I called Shae’s phone back to back. I knew she had to have powered it off by now because her shit was going straight to voicemail. Just when I was getting ready to call her again, Dino called back.
“She ain’t home, bruh. All the lights are off in the house too. Want me to sit outside this bitch until she makes it back? Just say the word,” he let me know, always down for whatever.
“Naw, it’s cool. Yo, promise me something, man. If you see that nigga with my bitch, I want you to air that shit the fuck out. I don’t give a fuck if they’re walking out of church. I done let that motha fucka disrespect me for too fuckin’ long.”
“No proble
m,” he said, and I hung up the phone.
This didn’t have shit to do with insecurities. It was all about respect. That nigga didn’t want my bitch until he knew she was mine!
Jashae Johnson
I hated that I felt like I was keeping secrets from Miami. This was the third night in a row that I’d slept at his house, and every night before I got in the bed with him, I had to turn my phone off so I wouldn’t risk Trip calling. I don’t know what bitch told him about the app that allowed you to create a phone number, but his stupid ass had been calling me nonstop.
I’ll admit that yesterday when I got off work and was on my way to Miami’s house, I ended up answering his call, only because I wanted to hear what his dire emergency was. I was every bitch, hoe, and slut in the book. Trip called me everything but my name. For five minutes straight, I argued back with him, and we both said a lot of things out of anger. I didn’t like this side that Trip would bring out of me. He always said things to me that would hit way below the fuckin’ belt, and I could finally say that I was walking away because I was tired of the fuckin’ disrespect.
Miami had a lot to do with me walking away. That man was perfect. Prior to him, Trip was the only guy that I’d ever dated, and boy could I see the difference. Because Trip was so hood, I thought that it was okay for him to disrespect me the way that he had done over the years. I noticed that I found myself making a lot of excuses for him and always saying something like, “That’s just how he is,” when in reality, that man was loving me so fuckin’ wrong and was so rude and disrespectful to me.
Miami was just as hood as Trip, but he still managed to treat me like a fuckin’ queen. This was the same man who used to be in the ring boxing niggas to sleep yet would lay in the bed with me and massage my feet until I fell asleep. He watched Lifetime movies with me and wouldn’t complain about it.
Since two weeks ago, when Miami and I had sex for the first time in Orlando, I’d been glued to him. I rarely slept home. These days, I felt like the only time I went home was to re-load on more clothes. I didn’t want to sound like I was moving too fast, but I think I loved him. He was there for me when I was going through such a dark time in my life. Hell, I was still going through a dark time, yet he was so patient with me.
I’m not always the best person to be around. I can become moody and burst into tears out of nowhere, but like a real man, he deals with it! One of the things that I hated about Trip was that he constantly picked at me and referred to me as a cry baby or let me know that I had too much drama whenever I showed some type of emotion. I can’t even begin to count how many times over the years I had to tell Trip that he was so insensitive when it came to my feelings. I loved that when I was around Miami, I didn’t have to be afraid to show my emotions. I could be Jashae; the girl who I was around my friends and my family.
Here it was, I had this perfect man, yet I wasn’t telling him about the phone calls that I was getting from Trip. Right now, the only reason my phone was even on was that I was reading over a document that one of my colleagues had just emailed to me a few minutes ago. It was something that I needed to look over before tomorrow at work. It’s like I started back work to work yesterday, and although I was welcomed back with a bunch of sympathy and open arms, I was still welcomed back with a shit load of work.
