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After we finished our food, I cleaned up our area and then we went back to the bedroom, laid down together and watched TV. About another hour later, China was sleep, so I was able to turn the TV from cartoons and put something on for me. I searched through the TV guide until I came across the movie San Andreas and I decided to put it on. I wasn’t even thirty minutes into the movie before the TV was watching me.
3:11 A.M
I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on my room door. I looked over at my daughter and she was still knocked out. I was a light sleeper, so whoever it was at the door had easily woken me up from my nap. I got out of the bed, stepped into my house shoes and walked to the front of the room. I looked through the peephole and I didn’t see anyone, so I was about to get back in my bed. I figured that they were probably knocking on another door, but I thought that it was coming from mine.
It wasn’t until I heard the knock again that I realized someone was indeed knocking on my door. Against my better judgment, I opened up the door, not having the slightest idea was knocking because I couldn’t see anyone through the peephole.
“I think I taught your ass not to answer the doors this time of night, especially when you don’t know who the fuck it is,” I heard a voice say. I looked up and it was Jaquan standing there. He reached over and pulled me to him, putting a tight grip around my waist. “In a situation like this, if someone was knocking on the door and you couldn’t see who it was, then don’t answer that shit because clearly it’s a setup. What would you have done if I was a nigga coming here to kill your ass? You made it that easy for me to have access to kill your ass and my baby. Think smart the next time, Charlie,” Jaquan said and softly pushed my body away from him.
I breathed a sigh of relief because clearly, I wasn’t thinking straight.
I watched as he stepped into my hotel suite and I followed him. I stayed glued to the front of the room and I watched as he went over to China and placed a kiss on her forehead. She stirred a little bit in her sleep, but she never woke up. I was hoping that he was about to leave, but when I saw him walk toward the balcony, I knew that he wasn’t leaving so soon.
“Come out here with me,” he said.
I wanted to object but I was scared. The look on Jaquan’s face right now was telling me that he wasn’t in the mood and I could tell that he was somewhat aggravated with my whole disappearing act. I slowly walked outside on the balcony and joined him. Instead of sitting in the empty chair next to him, I opted to stand, just in case I had to make a run back into the room and lock his ass out there.
“Come sit down,” he ordered.
I shook my head no. “I don’t want to. I’ll stand,” I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
Jaquan reached over from his seat, grabbed me by the front of my shirt and forced me into the chair next to him.
“Why you can’t just fuckin’ listen sometime, Charlie? And why do I have to hunt your ass down just to get in contact with you. If me and you beefing, that’s between you and me, don’t bring my daughter into our bullshit. You not gone have me out here looking like some deadbeat ass nigga that don’t take care of his seeds,” Jaquan fussed at me.
I kept bouncing my leg up and down because I was pissed that he was chastising me like I was some little kid.
“Are you done now?” I asked.
I no longer wanted to have this conversation with him. If anyone had the right to have an attitude, it would be me! I was the one who was lied to and embarrassed and had a video floating around of me fighting in public like I didn’t have any sense. From the outside looking in, most people would think that I fought her over Jaquan, but that wasn’t the case at all. I fought her because she had hit a nerve and I just took my anger out on her.
“Fuck you mean, are we done? Did I say that? Charlie, what the hell is wrong with you? Talk to me,” Jaquan said.
I sucked my teeth and looked at him like he was crazy.
“Do you really have to ask me that? You’re what’s wrong with me! You don’t respect me and you prove that shit to me every day. I don’t even look at other niggas the way that I look at you. Why can’t you give me the same amount of respect? It’s not like I asked for us to be together, we both came to a mutual agreement that it would be good if we got back together, but you doing shit to me that you never even did before,” I vented.
“So, what you trying to say?’ he asked, looking over at me with a mug on his handsome face.
“This rapping shit has changed you,” I said, and it killed me to say that.
“Get the fuck out of here with that shit, man,” he said and waved me off, but he never denied it either.
“I’m not even trying to argue with you, Jaquan. Just know who loved you before you became Quan. I loved you when you didn’t have nothing. If I had twenty dollars, I only had ten because ten would go to you, and that’s without saying. I did shit like that because I loved you and I supported you. I remember that night where we had to steal pampers out of Walgreens for China b
ecause we both didn’t have a steady income. I’m not trying to go down memory lane with you, Jaquan, just know that I was always there and that alone should speak for itself. You have proven to me that you don’t respect me as a woman because if you did, you wouldn’t have sent me over to that bitch in the first place.”
I got up from my seat and punched him dead in his chest. I had been holding that in since he came in here, and I felt relieved to finally take some of my anger out on him.
“Only because I know you pissed off, I’m going to let that punch slide. Hit me again and I’m slapping your ass back. You say I don’t respect you, but Charlie, answer me this. Who the fuck you think I’m doing this rapping shit for? Huh? What did I always tell you back in the day when we would just sit down and think about our future? I want to hear you say it,” he said.
I looked down at him. “You used to say that when you became rich and famous, you were going to make sure me and China never wanted for anything, and wouldn’t have to ever work a day in our lives,” I said, repeating something that he would always recite to me back in the days.
“Okay then, Charlie, I’m doing this shit for y’all! Baby, I’m human, and it’s going to be times when I fuck up, but I promise it’s never going to be my intention to hurt you. I can’t ever in my life see me loving another female the way I love you because we done been through so much. When I look at these bitches now, I can’t take them serious because five years ago, these bitches wouldn’t have given me the time of day. I know these bitches after my money, and I know that you’re after my heart, but you can stop chasing it because you already got it. I apologize for putting you in a fucked up situation, but baby I promise that I didn’t lie to you. For the life of me, I just couldn’t remember fuckin’ that girl, and I put that on my mama,” he said.
I believed his lying ass. I specialized in body language, and I’ve been knowing this nigga long enough to know when he is lying. For one, when Jaquan lies, like everybody else, he avoids eye contact and he talks with his hands. Right now, his hands were I his lap, which led me to believe that he was telling the truth.
“You go around fuckin’ all of these bitches and can’t even remember who the hell you fucked?’ I asked, getting pissed off.
