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My Gaz.
And I realize that even if it costs me something, I’m willing to pay up. I’m willing to sacrifice my own emotions and terror because I really do want to open up to someone, and I want that someone to be Gaz.
“You know I was kidnapped,” I say slowly.
“I know,” he growls, and his eyes narrow, but I know he’s not mad at me. He’s just sad about what happened to me. I am, too. It wasn’t fair.
Then again, nothing about life is ever really fair. Losing my parents at a young age wasn’t fair. Being raised by my aunt wasn’t fair. Growing up the only girl in a house with two overbearing brothers wasn’t fair.
Being hurt wasn’t fair.
“It was ten years ago today,” I admit. “And even though I think I should be over it by now, the truth is that I’m not,” I shake my head. “Sometimes, I even still have nightmares. I know logically that he’s gone, that he can never hurt me again, but sometimes, I still feel scared, Gaz. Today is a hard day for me because even though so much time has passed, I remember exactly what it felt like to be taken. I remember the exact moment I realized what was happening, and I remember the terror that swept over me.”
Before I realize what’s happening, Gaz is on my side of the table and his arms are wrapped around me. He pulls me so close to himself that I can hear his heartbeat, and suddenly, I feel at peace. The anxiety that’s been plaguing me all day disappears as I relax into his touch because I know that Gaz will never hurt me.
I know that he’ll do anything he can to protect me, to keep me safe, and the thought makes me feel like crying from sheer relief.
“I’m sorry about what that bastard did to you. I’m even sorrier I didn’t kill the fucker.”
I’ve never heard Gaz talk like this, but I shake my head.
“You did everything you could.”
“Your brothers and I should have hunted him down like the dog he is.”
“Gaz, I…”
“What is it, Hayden?” He lifts my chin and looks at me, really looks at me. Feminine energy rushes through my body as I suddenly become aware of the fact that today doesn’t feel like two friends hanging out. It feels like a date, but it shouldn’t. Gaz doesn’t think of me that way.
My hands are pressed against his hard chest, and I let them roam for a minute before I shake my head.
“Nothing, I…let’s just keep drinking, okay?” I pull out of his grasp and order us another round of drinks. “This one’s on me,” I tell him.
Is it just me, or does he look a little disappointed?
The drinks come, but Gaz doesn’t make any attempt to return to his side of the table. Instead, he stays next to me, protecting me, and I like that. It feels comfortable, and this time, I sip my drink a little slower. Already I’m starting to feel a little buzzed. There’s music playing, and I let the sound wash over me.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you,” Gaz finally says after a long time. “It’s not easy having bad things happen to us.”
“You know about that, don’t you?” I ask him softly. Gaz doesn’t talk about Orchid. He doesn’t talk about his family or his life there or why he left. I have my suspicions about him, but I’ve never pushed him to tell me anything about his life. I’ve never pushed him to explain.
“There are things in life that are so dramatic they shape who we are,” he says finally. “Sometimes, something bad happens, but it’s like high tide at the beach. It happens, but then it’s over, and everything goes back to normal. When you have a sandcastle you’ve spent hours building, though, and that tide comes in and crushes all of your hard work, it changes things.”
“It damages you.”
“It does.”
“What happened to you, Gaz?” I look up at him and for a minute, I think he’s going to tell me, but then he shakes his head.
“That’s a story for another day, love. That’s a story for another day.”
I try to hide my disappointment, but Gaz isn’t falling for it.
“Don’t look so sad, Hayden,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to my forehead. Before I can read too much into the gesture, he pulls me to my feet and begins to dance with me right next to our table. A few people turn to stay, but most of them ignore us.
“Gaz!”
“What is it, beautiful?”
