AllFreeNovel
Share Us
`I was just going out,' I told Grandma. 'I have some people to pick up this morning.'
'I could help! I could be your assistant. I'd be good at it. I can be real scary when I try.'
I grabbed my shoulder bag and denim jacket. 'I don't actually need anybody scary, but you can ride along if you want. My plan is to stop at the office to say hello. And then I'm going to get Sally so he can reschedule.'
Grandma followed me out the front door, to the curb. This sure is a pip of a car,' Grandma said, taking the Buick in. 'I feel like one of them old-time gangsters when I ride in this car.'
I feel poor when I ride in the car, since I'm the one buying the gas. No car in the history of the world guzzled gas better than the
Buick.
Lula was at the door when I parked in front of the bonds office.
'Don't bother trying to get that boat docked just right,' she said.
'We got an emergency call. Remember the chip lady? Well, she's having some kind of a breakdown. Connie just got off the phone with the chip lady's sister, and Connie said we should go over there and see what's happening.'
Sometimes part of my job falls under the category of preventive care. If you know something's going wrong in a bondee's life it's best to check in with him from time to time rather than wait for him to flee.
'Hell-o,' Lula said, peeking in the car window. 'We got Grandma on board.'
'I'm helping Stephanie this morning,' Grandma said. 'What's a chip lady?'
'Its some woman held up a Frito-Lay truck,' Lula said. 'And then she ate the chips.'
'Good for her,' Grandma said. 'I've always wanted to do that.'
Lula climbed into the back seat. The, too. You read those adult magazines and they're always talking about sex fantasies, but I say chip fantasies are where it's at.'
'I wouldn't mind combining them,' Grandma said. 'Suppose you had some good-looking naked man feeding you the chips.'
'No way,' Lula said. 'I don't want to be distracted by no man when I'm eating chips. I'd rather have dip. Just get out of my way when I see the chips and dip.'
'It's good you have priorities,' Grandma said.
'Know thyself,' Lula replied. 'Someone famous said that. I don't remember who.'
I took Hamilton to Klockner, passed the high school in Hamilton
Township, and turned into Cantell's neighborhood. A woman was standing on Cantell's front porch. She took a startled step back when she saw the three of us emerge from Big Blue.
'Guess she's never seen a '53 Buick before,' Grandma said.
'Yeah,' Lula said, hitching up her fuchsia and black animal print spandex pants. I'm sure that's it.'
I approached the porch and handed the woman my business card. 'Stephanie Plum.'
'I remember you,' the woman said. 'You had your picture in the paper when you burned the funeral home down.'
'It wasn't my fault.'
'It wasn't my fault either,' Grandma said.
I'm Cindy, Carol's sister. I know she's been having a hard time so I called her this morning. Just checking in, you know? And as soon as I heard her I knew something was wrong. She didn't want to talk on the phone, and she was real secretive. So I came over here. I only live two blocks away. She wouldn't answer her door when I knocked, so I went around back and that door was locked, too. And the shades are all drawn. You can't see into the house at all.'
'Maybe she just wants to be alone,' Lula said. 'Maybe she thinks you're nosey.'
Tut your ear to the window,' Cindy said.
