AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Lula put her ear to the front window.
'Listen real close. What do you hear?'
'Uh oh,' Lula said. 'I hear the crinkle of a chip bag. I hear crunching.'
`I'm afraid she's held up another truck!' Cindy said. 'I didn't want to call the police. And I didn't want to call her ex-husband. He's a real jerk. If I'd been married to him, I'd be a little nutty, too.
Anyway, I remembered Carol saying how nice you all were, so I thought maybe you could help.'
I rapped on the front door. 'Carol. It's Stephanie Plum. Open the door.'
'Go away.'
'I need to talk to you.'
`I'm busy.'
'She's going to jail,' Cindy wailed. 'She's a habitual offender.
They're going to lock her up and throw away the key. She's a chip junky. My sister's an addict!'
'We don't want to get carried away with this,' Lula said. 'Last I looked, Fritos weren't on the list of controlled substances.'
'Maybe we should shoot the lock off the door,' Grandma said.
'Hey, Carol,' I yelled through the door. 'Did you rob another
Frito-Lay truck?'
'Don't worry,' Cindy called out. 'We'll get you a good lawyer.
Maybe you can plead insanity.'
The door flew open and Carol stood in the doorway, holding a bag of Cheez Doodles. Her hair was smudged with orange doodle dust and stood out from her scalp like an explosion had gone off inside her head. Her mascara was smudged, her lipstick eaten off, replaced with orange doodle stain. She was dressed in a nightgown, sneakers, and a warm-up jacket. Doodle crumbs stuck to the jacket and sparkled in the morning sunlight.
'Whoa,' Lula said. 'It's fright night.'
'What is it with you people?' Carol screeched. 'Don't you have lives? Go away. Can't you see I'm having breakfast?'
'What should we do?' Cindy asked. 'Should we call 911?'
'Forget 911,' Lula said. 'Call an exorcist.'
'What's the deal with the Cheez Doodles?' I asked Carol.
'I slipped. I fell off the wagon.'
'You didn't rob another truck, did you?'
'No.'
'A store?'
'Absolutely not. I paid for these. Okay, maybe a couple bags got stuck in my jacket, but I don't know how that happened. I don't have any memory of it, I swear.'
'You're a nut,' Lula said, prowling through the house, gathering up stashed bags of chips. 'You got no self-control. You need Chips
Anonymous.' Lula opened a bag of Doritos and scarfed a few.
