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We worked our way through the shells and moved on to dessert. I was debating the wisdom of a second piece of cake when the doorbell rang, and Grandma jumped up and ran to the door.
“There he is,” she said. “There’s my honeypot.”
Gordon Krutch was wheezing from the effort of walking into the dining room. He was wearing a collared three-button knit shirt that stretched tight across his big belly and was showing signs of sweat seeping through the material in the chest area. He had a roll of fat hanging over his belt, and his tan slacks had a lot of crotch wrinkles. The wrinkles came down almost to his knees because he had legs like a Hobbit. Gordon Krutch was 5’ 4” on a good day.
“Howdy do,” he said, smiling wide. “Looks like you’re just finishing up. Sorry, I’m a little early. I like to be punctual. It comes from being a public servant for forty-five years.”
“Gordon worked for the DMV,” Grandma said. “He made sure everyone’s form was filled out right, and he gave the eye test.”
“You’d be surprised at how many people try to cheat on the eye test,” Gordon said.
“I got perfect eyesight,” Grandma said. “Except I gotta wear my glasses for the movies.”
“Do you belong to the Senior Discount Club?” I asked Gordon.
“I sure do. It’s a wonderful thing. All the best stores participate.” He looked at Randy. “In fact, I shop at this young man’s deli.”
“Strip steak and my special meatloaf mix,” Randy said.
“That’s me,” Gordon said. “Every week like clockwork.”
“Did you know the women who were killed?” I asked him. “They were members of the Discount Club too.”
“They sure were. I knew all of them. Lovely ladies. Just a terrible shame.”
“We’re going to the movies,” Grandma said. “We’re going to see that film where everybody gets eaten by bugs.”
My father looked over at Gordon. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if you take her to Vegas and marry her.”
“Your son-in-law is a great kidder,” Gordon said to Grandma.
“He isn’t kidding,” Grandma said. “You could probably get him up to a couple hundred.”
Okay, so Gordon Krutch is short, fifty pounds overweight, and can’t breathe without an inhaler. And I can’t see him, gasping and wheezing, choking the life out of even the frailest old lady. And I’m pretty sure Grandma could beat the snot out of him. Still, he made me uncomfortable. He knew all the women, and he was icky.
“Call me on my cellphone when you get home,” I said to Grandma. “I want to hear about the movie.”
FOURTEEN
I HELPED MY mother straighten the kitchen, retrieved my jeans and T-shirt, swapped out my Taurus for the Buick, and went home. Usually I go home with a bag of leftovers, but Randy’d eaten them. The shells, the cake, the antipasto… all gone. He said anytime I wanted to butcher some meat I should give him a call. I told him he’d be the first person I’d think of if I got the urge.
I drove around the parking lot, and didn’t see any menacing cars. I parked, hustled inside, and locked myself in my apartment. It was almost nine. Too early to roust Sunny out of Rita’s bed, but not too early to call Ranger.
“Hey, sexy guy,” I said to him. “Guess who?”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Maybe a little.”
“I can get to your apartment in five minutes.”
“No, no, no. That’s not why I’m calling. I thought we could snag Sunny tonight. Maybe around ten o’clock.”
“Will you still be awake?”
“I’ll be waiting for you in the lobby.”
“Babe,” Ranger said. And he hung up.
