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My throat tightened, and I nodded without saying anything. I couldn’t. My jaw trembled, hurting as I fought back my emotions. If I spoke, I'd cry.
Pulling back just enough, Kova looked down at me. He sat on the edge of my bed and brushed back my hair. His knuckles stroked my cheek and wiped away the lone tear that fell. His other hand found my hip and he pressed his fingers into my skin. I pulled my knee up and leaned into him. He took in my glossy eyes as I did his pensive ones. I knew he had to lie to Katja to come to me, and I wished he had a reason to stay the night. I really did, and if that made me a heartless person, then so be it. After the week I had, I needed him. I didn't care how selfish it sounded, I needed Kova to feel safe, to forget the world. He was all I needed to make the ache go away, because I knew deep down he cared about me, like I did for him.
Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he held it there for a long moment. I gripped his shirt in my fist, my hands shaking as I fought with him to stay with me. My breathing deepened, and I exhaled a shallow breath. My heart ached so bad, as if it were ready to break at any given moment. He pulled back and I cupped the side of his face, hoping he'd feel the plea in my touch.
"I will see you tomorrow, yes?" he asked.
I stared at his mouth and nodded. "Tomorrow," I said, just above a whisper.
Kova hovered above me, a few short inches from my mouth. He was so close I could feel his breath.
The beating of my heart picked up and I helped guide him closer until his lips were so close to touching mine.
"I need you Kova, I've never needed something so much in my life."
My hand skimmed the side of his jaw, down to his neck, and over his shoulder to rest on his firm, warm chest. Another tear fell, and he kissed it away, then dipped delicately enough to brush his lips over mine.
"I lost a little of myself this past week," I admitted so quietly. My heart was racing so fast.
"So did I, Ria… So did I."
My eyes shot to his and my heart broke hearing the truth in his whispered words. In those three little words, Kova said more than he’d ever had, and it concerned me deeply. Not once has he ever opened like he just did. Whatever was raging inside this beautiful man, he needed to get it out, and I wanted to help him.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
I don't know who moved first but next thing I knew we were entangled in a passionate kiss. I drew in a small breath and he surprised me by dipping a little further and softly pulling on my top lip with both of his. I angled my jaw up, giving him what he wanted, but what he so desperately needed too. His fingers pressed deeper into my hip and my hand threaded the hair at his nape. Our mouths held steady, I could sense he was holding back. His lips trembled on mine, the beating of his heart pounded viciously against the palm of my hand.
This time, I opened my mouth a little bit and searched his, curious to see what he'd do. It didn't take more than two milliseconds for his tongue to seek mine.
My hand slid to the back of his neck so both my arms circled his shoulders, and I guided him to me while I took in his slow, sensual kiss. Kova's tongue swept around mine like a cozy fire stirring deep inside my stomach. He let out a soft, almost heartbreaking whimper, tugging the strings of my heart as he kissed me deep. This was a man who knew how to express his emotions through a kiss.
Leaning into him, our bodies pressed together. Kova's hand skimmed the side of my body, over my hip and up my ribs. His thumb moved around my bare breast beneath my shirt, then under my arm and behind my back. I moved to fit him on the bed, but he surprised me by nudging my knees open to rest between my thighs.
I swallowed, taking his lips with mine. We fit seamlessly together. We'd never just kissed like this before, carnal yet slow, as if we were exploring each other's mouths, and I loved it. It was different. The most sensual yet emotional kiss, as if he was trying to tell me something through his kiss that his words could not express. I couldn't help but feel it in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right, but I pushed the negative thoughts aside and gave him what he clearly was in need of…
Me.
He kissed me slow and deep, and so damn good.
But he needed more. I could sense the resolve in his lips.
Our bodies acted on their own harmony and wrapped around each other until there was no breathable space between us. The friction heated and soon we were both engulfed in the most passionate kiss we'd ever had. Our hands were everywhere, we couldn't get enough of touching each other. Kova carefully rested his weight on me, pinning me to the bed. He was heavy, but for whatever reason, I loved feeling his body hold me down. It was sexy and so very primal the way he covered his body over mine.
My hips widened, allowing him to nestle further into me as our mouths continued their assault on each other. He rolled his hips up and into mine, his knee slid under my thigh to get closer to me, and he pressed his erection into my sex. I was already wet and aching for this man. The man who had been there for me in more ways than anyone else this past year. A man who I owed so much more than just my gratitude.
Kova's fingers dug into the skin at my hips. He tugged on my panties and I lifted my hips for him to pull them off. I moved my palms to his waist and pulled on the material of his shirt to untuck it. Kova let out a low breath as I unbuttoned his shirt, my hands instantly going for his skin like they ached to touch just him. I could never grow tired of him and feeling his strength.
Breaking the kiss, he kept his lips to mine as he breathed into me. Our eyes locked onto each other's and my chest sank at the emotion shining in his.
Regret clouded Kova's entire face and I felt it in my gut he needed so much more than I could give him right now. I would try though, because he deserved no less from me.
My fingers immediately found his lips and I traced them, my eyes frantically scanned all around his face, trying to figure out why he was hurting so bad, what he was fighting inside his chest.
"Prosti," he said. "Prosti…"
"Kova…what's going on… Talk to me," I asked softly, worry etched in my words.
He shook his head and kissed me, then pulled back and sat on his knees and stared down. He removed his shirt as his gaze moved down my body. I sat up and placed my hands flat to his chest.
