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"Wait a minute. You were pregnant on New Year's Eve and drinking?"
She shook her head. "I didn't actually drink. I pretended to sip it and when no one was looking, Xavier took it."
"I can't believe I didn't know." I was in shock.
"No one knew. We hid it well and I hardly showed. Once I had a small bump, I switched to more Boho style clothing."
"Okay, keep going."
"Before the Instagram post, we hadn't spoken to each other since the day I told him about the abortion, so when he asked to see me, I ran. It was the fourth." Avery grew quiet and I feared more heartache was coming from her. "We tried to be together on that day, but we barely lasted through the fireworks. I hurt too much. Xavier told me he would always look at me as the mother who’d killed his child. He wasn't mean about it, just hurting like I was. I don't blame him for saying it." Her eyes lowered to the bed. "He looked horrible, Aid. So bad. He unblocked me from social media after that day. Of course I'm always stalking him. While he looks happy, I know the look in his eyes is anything but that."
This time, it was my turn to cry. I couldn’t stop the tears from pouring out of me and I cried so deeply for them and what they would never have again.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. "I never would've guessed any of this happened. I didn't expect it at all. I don't know what to say to help you. I feel useless."
She regarded me with love. Avery shook her head. "There's nothing you need to say. Just telling you is all I need."
"What happens after this? Like with you guys?"
She glanced away with longing in her eyes. "Nothing. We go on like it never happened, I guess." She waited a long minute before she spoke again. "We'll never be the same."
My heart broke for the both of them. "You don't think telling him the truth would be better?"
She shook her head rapidly. "No. It won't do anything to bring the baby back, and honestly, the damage is already done. Like I said, I'd rather him hate me than think he had anything to do with the miscarriage. It's better that way."
After talking and shedding more tears, we ate popcorn and watched Cruel Intentions.
Avery and I agreed that coming clean to each other was cathartic. We were way past overdue for it and promised each other again to never let it happen.
She said she wasn't going to contact Xavier again, even though I wished she would. I encouraged it, but after she told me she was going to cut my hair in my sleep if I didn't stop, I shut up. My hair loss had increased the last few months, so I needed all I had left.
I felt awful knowing how bad both Avery and Xavier were hurting, but more importantly longing for each other. And as much as I initially hated the idea of them together, from what I gathered, it seemed like they really were into each other. Crazy to think of them like that, but I had no room to talk anymore.
Hello, Kova.
Thinking of Kova…shit. I realized I forgot to tell him I had an appointment tomorrow.
"Hand me my phone, Ave. I forgot to tell Kova I have blood work tomorrow."
Avery paused our favorite movie before grabbing my cell phone off the nightstand and handing it to me.
"Thanks. I forgot all about my appointment. You don't have to come…it'll be boring. I have practice after, so if you wanna shop or sightsee or something, you can."
"You're so wrapped up in gymnastics that you forgot what tomorrow is."
I quickly shot a text to Kova then frowned at her. "What's tomorrow?"
Her eyes widened. "Your birthday, dummy."
I paused and stared at her. Holy shit.
"Oh, my God. How did I forget?"
Tomorrow I would turn seventeen. I'd been so wrapped up in my life and focused that I’d forgotten my own birthday.
"Why do you think I'm here?" she asked with a smile on her face.
It felt good to see her smile after our long-winded conversation. I couldn't take all the credit for it, though. She was a bit obsessed with Ryan Phillipe and swore one day she was going to move to Hollywood and marry him.
