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Kova's hand slapped the table and he bounced up. I smiled at his excitement, feeling a little good to see him so happy over something so miniscule, even though I was going to ruin everything tonight.
Leaning in, he cupped the back of my neck and dropped a kiss to my forehead. I froze with his lips on me, and so did he.
"You can't do that here, Kova," I whispered.
He dropped his hand and took one step back. "I know. I was not thinking. See you later," he said, then walked out of the café.
I watched him leave, wondering what had come over him and if he was serious when he’d said he wanted me to himself for my last free weekend. I knew what he was talking about—he was hopeful I'd be chosen for the Olympic team. If I was, I'd be shipped off to the training center for four weeks—with Kova—to train for the Games with the Olympic coaches.
Thinking about that made me realize I had two choices: Tell Kova tonight that I was pregnant, or keep it a secret until it was all over.
There were a total of seven weeks from today until I left the Games, if I got lucky. Seven weeks of anxiety I had to deal with, or get it over with tonight.
Glancing down at my flat stomach, fear furled inside my chest like a bad omen. I wasn't sure when bellies started to grow, but I prayed mine wouldn't anytime soon.
What was more distressing was I had no idea how far along I was to anticipate such a thing, but that was something I didn't want to know.
My only worry was I hoped the heart wasn't already beating.
Sixty
"Why did you want to have dinner?" I asked after everyone left for the evening.
Yawning, I was sitting on the comfy couch in his office. I didn't have an appetite and I wasn't sure how I was going to eat to cover that up. All I wanted to do was go home and crash, not divulge the dirty little secret I was carrying. I glanced down at my stomach feeling a bit of remorse for calling it a dirty little secret.
"Why not?" he responded, as if my question was so odd.
I looked up, feeling defensive for reasons I couldn’t explain. "I don't know, because we never do?"
"That is why I wanted to."
I frowned, watching as Kova placed the paper bag on his desk and removed the contents. When he’d asked what I was in the mood for, I'd told him whatever he wanted. Food was the last thing on my mind.
"What else?"
He paused and stood straight. Kova looked directly in my eyes, and said, "Because you have been working hard and I feel a little distant from you. That is why."
My shoulders relaxed. He was being honest and it wasn't fair of me to be rude. "Thank you," I said.
Kova carried over the containers and we sat face to face. There was nowhere to really eat in the gym besides the café, but that felt too sterile.
Once I took a bite, my appetite came roaring back. I didn't eat too much of the steamed vegetables and fresh salmon baked in an almond butter sauce, only until I felt the first hint at being full. We took pieces of each other's food until I was full and Kova polished off the rest of mine along with his.
"This office gets a lot of action," I joked.
I curled up into the corner of the couch and nestled my cheek into the cushions with a dreamy smile. All week I'd been on edge and stressed out. Tonight, I was at peace and I wasn't sure if it was because I knew I had no choice in what I was about to say, or because being around Kova settled my nerves.
Kova got up and placed me in his lap with my back to his chest. He let out a sigh as he wrapped his strong arms around me. He kissed my temple. My eyes closed and I settled into him.
"I have been waiting all day to do this," he said in a low voice, and I chuckled. "What is so funny?"
"I was thinking that same exact thing."
"Great minds think alike."
I smiled and relished in the simplicity of how easy we were, how I totally understood when Kova said he simply did not want to say goodbye, because when there were moments like this, I didn't want to either.
"You have been awfully quiet? What is on your mind?"
