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"Of course it’s not your kid. You would say that."
He spo
ke faster, his eyes hard. "No, it is definitely not my child. I walked in on her taking a pregnancy test when she thought I was working out in the garage. The shock was written all over her face, and I know my sudden appearance flustered her. She started stammering and said since she never gave me the test stick as proof the first time she took one, she wanted to make up for that now. I had no idea what she was talking about. When I questioned her, she claimed to have told me she was pregnant, but I had no recollection of that. A man does not forget that vice grip on his heart feeling when he finds out he will be a father. She said it was in the envelope she gave me in my office the night you were there. I was completely ruined when she told me that. So, I drove to World Cup and went through my drawers and found it. I tore it open and sat in silence for hours trying to figure out how it happened when I realized that none of the dates matched up. None of them.
"Maybe you got her pregnant the night you found out about my kidney disease," I spat out.
"Not possible."
My eyes widened. "You said you didn't remember."
He held up a finger. "Just listen to me. I logged on to her accounts and scoured her emails and went through her social media pages. I found conversations between her and multiple men, one of whom I expect is the father."
My brows shot to my forehead. "I didn't take Katja for a cheater."
"Neither did I, so I called her doctor's office and spoke to the nurse since Katja has me listed as an authorized person to receive medical information on all her files. While Katja is indeed pregnant, she is very early in her pregnancy. Just a few weeks actually. My conniving wife had given me someone else's ultrasound photo and was trying to play it off as ours because she knew I did not want her, but also knew a baby would tie us together forever."
"When did all of this happen?"
"Yesterday morning and today."
My heart pinched at his response. I asked, "Why didn't you tell me this last night?"
"I planned to after dinner, but then…"
But then I’d flipped out.
"I'm sorry."
I drew in a breath, feeling the blood drain from my cheeks. I couldn't believe how far she'd gone to keep Kova in her life. I had no words. All I could do was listen in silence.
"Adrianna, I did not have sex with her recently enough for her to be pregnant. I have only been with you. The night when your father called me with your diagnosis, yes, I fell into a state of mind I did not know how to climb out of. The thought of you not being in my life is not something I ever want to imagine, but I did not know how to deal with it either, especially since I could not talk to you. I had to stay quiet and it was killing me. So I fucked off with writing in the notebook, which I am trying to barter with her to get back, and pulled out my old anxiety medication my therapist had given me. I think the shit was expired. I took a couple anyway and opened a bottle of aged vodka. I am not making excuses, but I blacked out that night. Still, I do not think I ever had sex with her. What man forgets when they have sex?"
I stared up at him speechless.
"That is not my baby, but that baby is my way out," he said.
We were breathing heavily, our chests thrust together.
"You're lying," I whispered, my heart racing so fast. "You always lie to me."
He shook his head, his eyes pleading with me. "I told you I would not lie to you anymore. I am telling you the truth. Why do you think I ran over here so fast to tell you everything? I surrendered to the blackmail because I had no choice. Your future was at stake and I was not going to risk it, but there is no way I will put up with this too. Was she going to act like some stranger's baby is mine for the rest of my life and never tell me? That is cruel and heartless. What about the real father? Would he never know? Come Monday, I am filing for divorce. I want her off my hands and out of my life for good. This is… How do you say, the cake's icing?"
I chuckled a little at his words, understanding what he was trying to say. "You mean the icing on the cake?"
His lips twitch, and he continued. "I know what I have done with you is wrong, but this is… I have no words for it."
I had a lot going through my head and I didn't know what to start with first. My stomach was starting to toss, the usual morning sickness I had every day bubbling to the surface.
"Say something," Kova begged. "Please."
Exhaling through my nose, I said, "Get off me."
His face fell. I knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but I was about to throw up all over him if he didn't move. Kova released his hold on me and I shoved off the bed and ran to the bathroom, making sure I locked the door behind me. My knees slammed to the floor and I vomited the moment I looked at the toilet water.
God, I hated this. There was no way I could handle nine months of this. I'd wither away to nothing. My throat tasted like acid and my stomach was already empty to begin with, and now it felt like a dry sack of nothing. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then stepped out to find Kova sitting on my bed with his head dropped between his shoulders. I could feel his guilt from where I stood and I felt terrible.
I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He leaned his head into my stomach and wrapped an arm around my butt to pull me closer to him. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, but I knew he needed me, was seeking support, and I was more than willing to give it to him. His pain was too overpowering to ignore, not that I could ever do that to him anyway.
