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"Do you recall the night I sent you to my office and she happened to be there?"
Unfortunately. "Yes."
"Do you recall the white envelope she shoved at me that I threw on my desk?" he asked, and I nodded blindly. "I never opened it. I actually placed it in my desk that night and never thought about it again."
Oh, God. Somehow I knew where this was going before he finished explaining himself. My heart was burning. I could feel it in my gut. I tried to scoot off Kova, but he held me in place. I didn't have the strength to fight his hands off.
"She's pregnant," I whispered, chills tightening down my spine.
Something inside me crumpled to dust and I let out a breath of defeat.
I'd never win when it came to him. I'd never be first.
Sixty-Two
"Yes," he said, dropping his head to my chest.
I cupped the back of his neck. The anguish in those three letters crushed my heart and I realized Kova now had two women pregnant. I was so glad I hadn't told him. This made my decision that much easier.
His hands tightened on me. "I drank a half bottle of vodka straight from the mouth after your father told me about your kidney disease. An hour later I finished it off. I blacked out."
"You had sex with Katja when you found out I was sick?" I stated in utter and complete disbelief.
Of all the things. Of all the things he could tell me, nothing could amount to this kind of devastation now consuming me. Numbness crowded me, sweeping everything else away.
His voice was low, quiet, and surprisingly remorseful. "I do not remember all of it. Just flashback moments of that night. I have tried so hard to remember but my memory is just not there. I woke up naked and disoriented. I could not believe it, and since then it has never happened once."
"You slept with your wife when you found out I basically had a death sentence," I said slowly, trying to wrap my head around it.
Kova didn't respond. His silence was his answer, and his truth would cause me to suffer considerably more.
He tightened his arms around my waist and dropped his chin onto my shoulder. He was warm, but I felt nothing. He was shaking, but I was still. I thought his marriage had been devastating. This was soul-crushing.
"I never planned to tell Katja about us. I was going to eventually leave, but Joy had other plans. She is a woman with vengeance, power, and money. I have yet to know why she is after me. I thought possibly because she was concerned about her name being ruined and the humiliation it would cause." He paused, running a hand over his jaw. "It was Joy who found my jacket in your room on New Year's Eve and shipped it to Katja. That was how it started, until Joy took it a step further and hired a private investigator to follow us. They have so much against us, Adrianna. So much damning evidence. Joy was able to retrieve all of our text messages from the cell phone carrier. She read every message, saw every image, including the video I sent to you while you were sleeping. They have photos of us at the gym, from meets, my home, your condo. She handed everything over to Katja, and from what I have gathered, used it as bait for your father to get what she wanted. I was cornered."
We were both quiet, lost to our heavy thoughts and the reality of our lives.
"I had no choice but to marry Katja. She had been begging me for years, but I could never bring myself to get down and ask her. After Joy gave her everything about us, she was devastated when I told her I would never marry her. I will never forget the way she looked at me, like she had revenge in her eyes. She was angry, saying I wasted her life and that I will get what is coming to me. She wanted me to expel you from training at World Cup. When I told her no, that was when Joy stepped in. I bargained with both over expelling you from my gym. There was no legitimate reason to kick you out, and you would never just leave on your own when there were coaches after you for the Olympic team. Too many questions would arise and bring unnecessary attention to all. Both of them knew this. It was either marry her, or your gymnastics career would be over, and I would be taken away in handcuffs."
"Joy isn't after you." My voice was hoarse. "She's after me for what my dad has done, and has continued to do. She's taking it out on me because I'm a replica of my biological mother, and because my dad is still talking to her after he promised Joy years ago he wouldn’t. Why would Katja go through with this after she found out about the infidelity?"
"When she found out I was cheating, and with you, all she wanted was for me to kick you out because she knew you would go back to Palm Beach. After I refused to, and she spoke to Joy, she threatened to go to the police. She knew I would lose everything if she did that, but so would she because she had no legal tie to me. As the saying goes, money talks, and Joy paid her a large sum. Her heart grew hard from Joy whispering in her ear. Since then she has been just as bad, and it has been two against one."
Kova shook his head in defeat. I remembered my dad telling me Joy had something on me that she couldn't show him because she was actually worried it would give him a heart attack. He thought she was lying. Now that I knew the truth, it would kill him, and I was actually grateful she hadn't shown him, but I was also terrified if I did one more thing wrong, she’d show him everything.
"Dad said Joy’s spiteful and jealous, but I find it difficult to believe she would be jealous of me. I think she sees me as the same as my dad, with you." My voice was quiet. "I wouldn't put it past Joy to tell my dad one day, but I don't see her going public with it."
I didn't recognize my own voice. It was as empty as my chest and as dead as my heart. I felt ruined. We were both pregnant, but the difference was that Kova and Katja would be able to raise their child.
For the first time in a long time, tears didn't fill my eyes. Rage didn't fill my blood. Hate didn't seal the wounds on my heart. I was just really sad inside.
I unwound my arms and placed my hands on his shoulders. Kova sensed what I was about to do and hugged me tighter, placing his face on my chest like he was holding on to me for dear life and didn't want to let go.
"Kova—" My voice was cold, distant.
He cut me off so he could rush out his next set of words. "Katja is pregnant, but it is not my child."
I lowered my eyes. Would he deny our baby too?
