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Kova sat back on his heels and observed me. "I am not going to argue with you. Go home before the rain starts up and take time to rest. I will see you in a few days. Your attitude makes it clear you need the time off, and the Coach bullshit only solidifies it."
My eyes flared and I stood. Grabbing the rope, I fisted it and said, "I told you, I'll go home when I'm ready."
Gearing up, I held onto the rope above my head, but Kova grabbed my hips to stop me.
"No. You are finished," he said firmly and pulled me back. "You are going to kill yourself."
"I'm already dying anyway, so what does it matter?"
Kova's hands froze around my waist. I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my head against the rope. Fuck! I couldn't believe that slipped out.
"What did you just say?" he whispered.
"Nothing. Just that everyone is dying the moment they're born. That's all I meant." I tried to wiggle out of his hold but had no luck. "Now let go of me so I can do my last round."
"I will do no such thing."
Blood simmering, I was fired up. Letting go of the rope, I spun around and slipped out of his hold. I glared up at Kova, expecting to see his anger, but I got the opposite.
"What's your damn issue? I'm just trying to stay focused and prepared for Worlds. Why are you holding me back?"
Kova stepped closer to me. "Do not put words into my mouth. I would never hold you back. I am concerned you are going to hurt yourself. Plus, with the storm coming, you need to prepare."
"I am prepared. This is my way of mentally preparing and dealing with shit."
His eyes lowered. "Every night this week I have held my breath watching you, trying to give you the space you so clearly need to deal with whatever it is you have going on in your head. But tonight, it stops. No more running yourself ragged."
I pursed my lips together. "Are you going to let me do my last one?"
"No chance in hell. I watched you enough tonight to know you are too weak to make it to the top. I thought you were going to fall the last time. That is why I came out here, to catch you if I had to."
Weak.
You are too weak.
Kova called me weak.
"You think I'm weak?" My voice trembled, and there was no concealing the hurt I felt. Calling me weak was by far the worst insult. It's what I'd been fearing, that I'd be too weak in the end to achieve anything. I'd rather him call me a bitch than weak.
Before I could stop it, tears filled my eyes as I replayed his words in my head. My jaw bobbed, my blood boiled with fury.
"Ria," he said
softly, his brows angled with regret. Kova reached for me, but I stepped back. "I did not mean it like that. I just did not want you to hurt yourself."
I pushed my index finger into his chest, and whispered with a bite, "Fuck you, Coach."
I spun around and marched away from him. If I couldn't climb, then I'd go for my run.
"Come back here. Where are you going?"
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I threw the door open to the lobby. "To run," I shouted over my shoulder and rounded the corner. Kova was hot on my tail as I walked down the hallway. "You should know that by now since you've been here every night watching me like a freaking creeper."
"Like hell you are."
Oh, he was mad. Good. Now he knew how I felt.
I threw my locker open and reached for my workout shorts. I had a schedule and I needed to stick to it. I had to.
