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And I truly was. I just hoped she could hear the honesty of my words through the phone. Remorse pierced my chest and I tried to rub away the tightness.
"No, I was wrong," she insisted.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I parked my truck. I didn't want her to feel wrong. She had no reason to.
"I should've been upfront about everything from the beginning, and I wasn't." Avery continued. "I hid how I felt about Xavier from the one person I never should have. If I could rewind history and do it over again, I would tell you in a heartbeat. Nothing is worth losing my best friend over. Nothing."
My shoulders sagged from the cracking of her voice. I hated that she felt that way.
"Just stop, Ave. It's okay. You did nothing wrong, and you could never lose me. This is all my doing. I was hurt, dealing with so much shit at one time, and I lashed out at the one person who has always been there for me. It wasn’t fair to you. On top of everything, it was the beginning of gymnastics season and the perfect excuse to avoid the situation since my schedule was just go, go, go. I'm a shitty friend. I honestly don't even know why you didn't give up on me and say fuck you and throw in the towel."
"Ah, newsflash, idiot, you're my best friend. No matter what, I'd never do that. I just think we both were dealing with a lot of shit and didn't confide in each other like we'd always done in the past," she said. "I mean, how could we? You with your sexy-as-fuck coach, and me with…your brother. Two relationships that should’ve never ever happened did, and we couldn't even talk about it. Look at you and Fish Lips." She laughed, and I giggled at her old nickname for Kova. I hadn't heard it in so long. "It took you a hot minute to tell me about that whole thing, and I get that. Now imagine if you were in my shoes and you were secretly dating one of my dumbass brothers. You probably would've done the same thing I did knowing all I'd want to do is to steer you away from him. So, I get it. I understand now. We both were stupid and we both reacted wrongly."
"You're right," I said. I stared through the windshield watching some of the gymnasts practice. "So…are you still with him? With Xavier?" I held my breath and braced myself for her answer. I wasn't sure why.
"No. There will never be an Avery and Xavier again. You can believe that."
"But I saw on your Insta you were with him on the Fourth of July."
"Ohhh look at you stalking me."
I laughed again. "Hush. And here I was finally getting used to the idea that we could actually be family. Hopefully I still have the receipt for your wedding gift."
Avery grew quiet and it troubled me. "We don't need a stupid piece of paper to tell us we're family. But I promise we're not together. We tried to work thr
ough things, but, well, it's complicated. All we end up doing is arguing."
I softened at her words, though still concerned. "You're right. It would've been cool, though. What happened?"
"Honestly, Aid, I'm not trying to avoid the subject, but that's a conversation we need to have in person. Trust me on this. There's too much to explain, and some things are better said face-to-face. You'll understand why, and hopefully forgive me. It's not pretty. It's downright hurtful, and I may need my best friend to get through it. I'm not over it and I don't know when I will be. The story is long and sad and full of ugly tears. And, I just put my mascara on."
I smiled. Avery and her makeup. "Are you okay, though?"
She was quiet for a moment. I had my answer before she spoke.
"I'm okay now…at least as okay as I can be."
I knew Avery, and I knew she wasn't okay. I could hear in her voice she was still going through the motions.
"Let me check my calendar to see when I have a break in between meets. I can drive down. I want to see you. I need to talk to you too."
I had no time to spare in between meets but I was going to try and make it work, even if it meant driving both ways in one day. Avery Heron was my best friend, and she needed me.
"About what?"
My heart started to beat a little harder. I wanted to tell her about the doctor visits, but I couldn't find the words.
"I can take off on a Sunday. I'll drive down straight after practice Saturday afternoon, that way we'll have half that day and a full Sunday to hang out. I'll have to leave that night, though. Does that sound good?"
"Would it be easier if I came to you? I know you're busy with camps or some shit. What is it exactly that you do at camp, anyway? Am I going to hear a story similar to what happens at band camp, except some kinky girl-on-girl action?"
I laughed loudly. "Oh my God. Not even close! It's not like that. I can barely walk when it's over."
"Adrianna…" She drew my name out, then chuckled. "What kind of shit goes on down there? Leave it to Kova. He should write a book on sex positions and how to thoroughly fuck someone while doing gymnastics."
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Avery! Kova doesn’t go to the camps with me, but he's had to literally carry me out of the airport because they're so brutal."
"Are you still fornicating with him?"
