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His engines were revved and poised for an argument, I could feel it. There was a storm brewing in Kova's eyes, I just wasn't sure if it had to do with me or not. I wanted to crawl under his skin and flush out what the issue was going on in his head. I wanted to give in, but I knew the only person who would suffer would be me. And that was upsetting for me because for some ridiculous reason I had no answer for, I wanted to help him like he had helped me.
At one point, I flat out yelled, "I don't understand! Show me how to do it!"
Still, he stayed back.
Even when tears coated my eyes from my inability to master a skill the way I wanted to, he stayed back. He saw my struggle. He was aware of how frustrated I had become. The distress in his torn eyes was clear, and so I resented him for making me open up. All I could think about was how dumb I was. How he could tell me he wanted to live with me only to put a ten-foot wall between us.
The clock struck seven and I clocked out mentally. Quickly, I gathered my things and rushed out to my locker, passing Reagan and Holly as they left. We said our goodbyes. The gym was nearly empty save for a few parents in the lobby. I needed to get home.
Stuffing my clothes and shoes into my duffle, I felt him before I even saw him.
"I'm sorry I let you down," I said through a broken, fragile voice. "I’m sorry I ever said anything to you." And I was. I wished I had never opened up now.
"Adrianna."
I didn't answer him. He called my name again.
Shaking my head, I ignored him. This wasn't fair. He didn't get to talk to me only on his terms.
I slammed my locker shut and turned around ready for a fight, only the Kova I saw wasn’t the Kova I was expecting. I softened a bit, but I left my aggravated expression firmly in place to show him I wasn't accepting his cute little smile like he was finally happy to see me.
Kova stepped into the room and walked right up to me. He grabbed my elbows and tried to loosen me up. I spoke before he could.
"You don't get to tell me you love me one second and then the next second act like you don't give a shit about me. That's not fair, Kova." I paused, feeling myself get totally emotional over this. "You said you wanted to live with me," I whispered. "I took that to heart."
"I know, and I apologize. It had nothing to do with you. I promise."
I frowned, unprepared for that or for the absolute sorrow in his green eyes.
"Will you give me a few minutes for the rest of the people to leave so we can talk?"
His head tilted to the side and he gave me a lazy smile that was impossible to refuse. I nodded. I didn't want to stay mad at him, not after what we had shared in those few days, and I wanted to know what had happened.
"Wait in my office."
I nodded again. Kova glanced over his shoulder, then quickly dropped a kiss to the top of my head. Turning around, he strode out of the locker room only to stop at the threshold. He paused with his hand on the ledge of the doorframe and looked over his shoulder at me.
His gaze dropped to the floor for a moment then met mine. "Just… Just know you did not let me down. I have some issues with Katja right now and that is on my mind nonstop. Not you." Then he was gone.
I tugged my duffle bag onto my shoulder and left the locker room, heading for his office with a little smile on my face. I felt a smidge better.
Opening the door, I reared back in complete surprise. Blood drained from my cheeks.
"Oh. Hey, Katja."
Thirty-Six
She knows. Remember, she knows, I told myself.
And she had my damn notebook.
“Adrianna," she said, rolling the R. She was seated in Kova's chair behind his desk, slowly swiveling side to side like she reigned supreme. "How is it you do?"
I plastered on an innocent smile and played it off. "I'm great. Just looking for my coach. I thought he was in here. I couldn't remember if we had a blading session tonight."
Eyes narrowing, she angled her head to the side. I had no reason not to like Katja. She'd been nothing but kind to me up to now, yet she was his wife and that was enough to make me hate her.
"But did you not have one just two nights ago?"
