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Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.
"Kova?" I said hesitantly, staring at his chest. "Where were you?"
"Dealing with Kat."
I lifted my gaze and waited for him to elaborate. Kova held a pensive stare as he looked at me like he was considering his words. He waited a good couple of minutes, then gave my hand a little squeeze and kissed my knuckles, leaving his lips pressed there for a moment.
"I suspect Katja is lying to me about something. She is not herself and has been too distant. I am not complaining that she is, but something is off, and I do not know what. It is bothering me. She used to fight me at night to be home, now she seems relieved when I have to stay in the gym, which I find peculiar given what she knows about us. I have a feeling she is trying to plan something big. I just do not know what it is yet."
Thirty-Seven
A deflated laugh escaped me.
He couldn't be serious. The thought provoked me with a pull of jealousy so deep it startled me. I wasn't typically a jealous girl, but I was glad his wife was refusing him. Jealously meant I was fragile, and I didn't like to think of myself like that. The last word I'd use to describe myself was envious. But when it came to Kova, that was a different story. I didn't want to share him. He was mine, just like I was his.
Still, I couldn’t let it go.
I scoffed. "Wait a minute. You are not telling me
you try to touch her, to have sex with her, and she isn't having it, are you?"
"I am trying to placate her so she does not go to the police, Adrianna." He sounded offended. "I have to use my body to protect us. I am disgusted, but that is the truth."
I ground the my teeth so hard I heard the enamel crushing. Every time we took one step forward, we always took ten steps back. Always.
"Do you have any idea what would happen if we got out?" he continued. "I will go to jail, and you will not go to the Olympics. The committee would never allow it, you can count on that. I had to make deals with her to not speak to Frank, and for her to pacify Joy."
The committee would never allow it.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I hadn't even thought about that.
Kova was right. They wouldn’t brush this under the rug. He’d be stripped and shoved behind bars, and I would be forced to retire due to an "injury," and that was that.
"I hadn't even thought of that," I whispered. I was scared now.
Was it crazy of me to tell him to keep placating her? Because if that was going to be what it took, then he should do whatever he needed to. I just didn't want to hear how he did it.
"She is arranging something. I just cannot figure out what it is."
"So what's your plan in the meantime? Fuck her into oblivion to silence her and then dig around when she's sleeping?" I stepped back and threw my hands up in the air. I was instantly angry again. "Why are men so stupid?"
Kova stood. Much to my surprise, he didn't jump down my throat. He remained calm. "I have to play her game for us to come out on top until I can find out what she is up to, then I can use it against her."
I exhaled a heavy sigh. This was so messed up. "For how long, Kova? How long do you have to play her game and pretend you love her?"
"For however long it takes until we are both in the clear.”
My jaw dropped. "So that's where you were the last few days? Placating your wife when you were supposed to be coaching me? Listen, I'm all for you trying to make her happy for the time being since she's clearly a loose cannon, I just think I shouldn't hear about it anymore."
His face paled. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, but it physically hurt me to hear things like this even if I said I wanted to. I was not as strong as I thought I was, I guess.
"I had to be the doting husband and put her first to let her think she still had control over me. If I am going to play her game, I have to play it a few steps ahead of her."
Breathing heavily, I could feel tears climbing, but I forced them down. I pointed to my chest. "I tell you about my stupid disease and open up about the most heartbreaking moments of my life, and you respond with this stuff?" My voice broke. "You have to be kidding me. Why do you hate me? Do you get off on hurting me?"
Kova's face fell. He reached for me and I stepped back. His hand dropped helplessly to his side. "Do not do this, Adrianna, please. I am begging you. It is not like that, I swear on my life and everything I have to give it is not like that. I am just trying to talk to you and tell you what really has happened."
