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Kova's lips parted and I felt his shock reverberate through me. His wild eyes held me immobile. He ate up the space between us in three strides, his gait heavy with determination. He closed the distance and I placed my hand on his chest to stop him. A gasp escaped my lips as he cupped the back of my head and brought his mouth to hover above mine. Kova leaned into me as he pulled my body to his.
"Don't make this harder than it needs to be," I whispered. "Please." He shook his head, his beautiful eyes pleading. Hot air swept across my cheek as he exhaled through his nose. I knew what he was thinking—we were already passed that point. Kova pressed closer to my lips and I arched back, curling into him.
"No." It was all he said. "No." His voice shook a little this time. "Not this."
Kova pressed his nose into my cheek, and his hands traveled my back. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his back. His fingers threaded through my hair and cupped the back of my neck. He held me to him for dear life. Heat flooded my body, and a soft sigh rolled off my lips. I felt his sorrow and it consumed me. I exhaled and melted into him, missing him so much already. He swept frantic kisses across the slope of my neck. My thighs squeezed around his waist in response and I held him to me just as tight.
I loved this man with every part of me, but that wasn't enough to stop me from executing the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.
Kova pulled back and met my gaze. He couldn't take his hands off of me. The startling revelation in his eyes was much harder to witness than I’d expected.
"You are leaving me," he stated.
My lips puckered and tears blurred my vision. The creases between Kova's brows deepened with each second I didn't respond.
"I'm leaving us."
Kova shook his head. His gaze bore into mine and it twisted my stomach. This was a total blow to his gut and it showed.
"What does us mean? Define it, Adrianna."
My shoulders fell. "Why are you bothered by this? It's what you wanted, isn't it? The time you so badly needed?"
He pulled my lips closer to his. "Not if there was a chance I could not ever see you again," he responded immediately.
My nostrils flared. "While you were making decisions that worked for you, I made a decision for myself. The time you needed away from me was enough time for me to reevaluate my life."
A breath hitched in my throat. The moment the words left my mouth I regretted them. I was finally understanding why people lied to their loved ones. Sometimes the truth hurt more.
Tormented eyes regarded me.
Shaking my head with regret, I said quietly, "Times up, Kova."
He didn't hesitate.
Kova pressed his lips to mine in a no-holds-barred kiss. He inhaled me deep and drew me into him like I was the air he breathed.
Like he didn't want to let go.
Fifty
Kova’s fingers pressed into my waist, and I clenched his shirt in my fist. I kissed him back without reservation.
Our lips fused together too perfectly, the stars only ever aligning for us when our bodies did. It wasn't fair, it was a cruel existence that tortured our emotions, but it was how we communicated.
Kova's grip on me tightened. I arched into him with a small gasp as his tongue delved into my mouth. A moan vibrated in the back of my throat causing Kova to escalate his assault on my mouth. I kissed him back with just as much vigor, arching my hips against his. Kova noticed and responded with a skilled stroke that made my toes curl. I was getting lost in the man who was my everything and that I was inevitably walking away from. He was my awakening and my reckoning.
Breaking the kiss, I whispered, "I'm sorry."
"You are just going to give up on us? Just like that?" His grip tightened like he was afraid of my answer.
My jaw trembled at the defensive tone in his voice. "I'm not giving up on the idea of us, but I am letting go of us right now."
"No," he whispered sharply and shook his head. "I know what that means. Please," he begged, "do not do this. Whatever you want, it is yours. Tell me and I will honor it."
Tears trickled over my pressed lips and down my chin. His gaze was a kaleidoscope of emotions. It hurt to see him in pain like this, to know that for once it was me doing the hurting.
His eyes were glossy with tears. This was the second time I'd seen an emotion this powerful on Kova. It rattled me. The last time this happened, he'd found out I was pregnant.
