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"It's too late," I said, my decision final.
Without saying another word, Kova slammed his mouth to mine. He savagely kissed me like his life depended on it. His hands were all over my body, the warmth creating a carnal glow throughout me. I jerked forward to kiss him back and bite his lip. He touched every inch of me he could. The desperation in his touch was what took me by surprise and revived the flame I'd gone breathless to blow out. His tongue plunged into my mouth and wrapped around mine in a sweep of untamed passion. His kiss was a feeling, an erratic pulse. Kova's hand captured mine. He squeezed my fingers, pressing our joined hands against his heart where the letter A would be for the rest of his life.
"Fuck everything. I am going to sell the gym and come with you. Where you go, I go. It is us, Adrianna. I would rather fight with you every day than risk never being with you again."
I gasped, shock ricocheting through me. Burning stones were tossing around in my stomach. Kova was going to give up what he loved. Had I been wrong about how he felt about us all along? My heart clenched at the thought.
No, I wouldn't go there. I wasn't going to backtrack because he said something I wanted to hear.
"You can't do that," I said. "You can't, Kova. I won't allow it. You love that gym."
He pressed his lips to mine. "I love you more, and if that is what it takes, then so be it. I do not care if you tell me every hour that I am being a dickhead, or that I am terrible at expressing myself, or that this was a mistake. As long as we are together, then say all you want. I know where your heart lies for me. But if it will chance ever being with you again? No. Absolutely not."
He kissed me again until I was breathless. I allowed it by pressing the back of his head so his lips crushed mine. Desperate lips and painstakingly slow hands showed that what we had was real. I never wanted to let go of him. What I wanted, now, was to change my mind.
My breathing labored to wheezing and that worried me, but not enough to stop. And that was my biggest flaw right there that could eventually cause me my life—I stopped thinking about me when I was with him.
This feeling, though, this connection, the chemistry driving us together, it was once
in a lifetime and why I allowed it to devour me.
"You're just making it harder," I said, breaking the kiss, and Kova groaned.
Flattening my hand, I pressed on his chest to push him back to put space between us, only I fisted his shirt and tugged him to me.
"Fuck," I whispered under my breath and dropped my head on the curve of his shoulder. I couldn't let go, damn it. I was scared to, because the truth was, I didn't want to. I honestly didn't want to let him go.
Taking my jaw into his hand, Kova tipped it back until I was forced to look at him. His thumb pressed under the center of my chin and his palm cupped my throat. The gesture was tender but his touch longed for love. Kova stared into my eyes. He fought to steady the tremble in his hand, but I felt it.
He exhaled, and like always, I inhaled.
Then Kova gave me a soul-searing kiss that almost made me change my mind. His lips suctioned over mine and he breathed me into him like I was his last dying breath. His kiss evoked the unusual love we had for each other, and I loved that it did. It made it that more ours and ours alone.
"Do you not see it yet, Malysh?" His eyes were frantic. "I bleed my emotion silently, and you express yours with hunger. It is a give and a take, a perfect balance, which makes us right for each other. We need each other."
Just not right now, I thought as more tears surfaced. He'd only changed his mind because I set the ultimatum.
Kova placed me on my feet and turned away. I watched as his hands came up to the back of his head and he laced his fingers together. Frustration bloomed a shade of red under his white knuckles.
He turned around and I almost lost my breath. Konstantin Kournakova was a beautiful tragedy I'd never forget.
"I am going to accept the offer I got for World Cup from Danilo. He can have it all," he said with determination. "I will talk to my attorney about rushing the divorce, and I will give Katja whatever she wants to be away from her. You want to say goodbye forever? No, that is not happening. It is a done deal, the gym will be sold. I had already started the preparations. I will just move it along quicker." Kova paused, then caught me by surprise. "I am coming with you."
I shook my head, he wasn't understanding.
Fifty-One
My chest ached. I didn't want him to make these decisions because of my tears. I wanted him to make them based on his own feelings and experiences, the way I had.
"Don't. Don't do that. Don't give up what you love for me," I argued.
"It is done. I am selling World Cup."
Goose bumps broke out over my arms. He made it sound like he was so sure about it.
"It's too late for that," I said miserably. "I'm going alone."
The look on his face had me drowning in grief. Kova hung his head between his shoulders. I could feel his suffering pouring into me and it was wrecking my heart. I walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around the small of my back and hugged me so tight I could feel the subtle shake under his muscles.
