AllFreeNovel
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"Are you going first, or am I?" I say.
"You."
I scan the sea of tables and point to a guy. Natalie studies him then gives me a side-eye smirk.
"He's a yuppie writing a book to Justin Bieber’s music that's set in seventeen-twenty but found a way to time travel to his concerts. He swears it's going to win the Nobel Peace Prize."
I stare at her, perplexed. I'm at a loss for words and just start laughing. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"
She giggles. "I have no idea. It was my first thought. Okay. My turn."
Natalie looks around and points to an elderly woman with pale blue hair wearing a save the whales shirt.
"Too easy."
I finish off my champagne and orange juice and pick up my fresh one.
"She used to be an astronaut but never made it to space, only worked on the shuttle. She dyes her hair the color of her favorite planet, Neptune. She's even named her kids after the planets, which her husband hates. She said, 'I pushed the kids out of my hoo-ha, I pick the name,' and the husband decided he wasn't going to argue with her."
"How…nerdy. Kinda cool. Kinda agree with her."
We both laugh and I pick a guy out this time.
Natalie says, "That's my future ex-husband times two."
I shoot her a confused look. "Times two?"
She smiles. "He won't be able to get enough of me and will marry me twice, only to see that I'm still the crazy fucking lunatic he married the first time and divorces me twice. Still calls for one-night stands."
I study the guy she picked out for me, how he's alone and taking pictures with an expensive looking camera.
"He's a serial killer but just hasn't gotten caught yet. He pretends to take pictures of nasty pigeons but he's really scoping out his next victim. You know how people say you walk past at least one murderer in your lifetime? That's him. I bet you’re his next victim."
Natalie glares at me for a long period of time. "Bitch, please."
I laugh out loud, loving this game.
"You'd kill him first."
"That escalated quickly," she says, and laughs.
"How about her?" I say, pointing to a girl with large gold hoops and gorgeous, shiny black curls.
"She looks like she fucks her best friend's dad."
I give her a bland stare. "You're such a fucking asshole."
Natalie's head falls back as she cackles. "What! She does."
"You had to go there, didn’t you?"
Her lips twitch like she's trying not to smile. She doesn’t understand that her joke makes my heart ache, but I smile anyway.
"I couldn't resist," she says.
I look back at the poor girl. "If the dad was as hot as yours…I don't blame her. I'd bang him until I couldn’t walk and I have to sleep for a week."
"Ahhhhh my innocent ears!" she cries, covering her ears with her hands.
