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I just stare at her, unblinking, trying to figure out if this is a joke. My heart is hammering like a beat to a techno song against my ribs. All I can hear is the pounding in my ears and feel the pressure building.
"Say something."
"I'm not ruining our friendship again. It's fine. Thanks, but no thanks. I won't do it."
She leans in, her brows furrowed in disbelief. "I just told you I give you my blessing to bang my dad."
"It's not wo
rth it," I say. I just can't risk losing her or going through the heartbreak again. It's too much suffering for one person to handle twice.
"I've given it a lot of thought. Everyone is in a good place right now, and I don't see why I should stop you guys from being together, if it's what you want."
I'm at a loss for words. I'm not sure what to say and I'm having a hard time concentrating.
"Talk about things escalating quickly. What if it leads to something more?"
"Well, I'm not gonna fucking call you Mom if that's what you're asking." She scoffs and takes a sip. "And I sure as fuck don't ever want to hear about sex shit with you guys, like ever. I have to draw the line somewhere."
A surprised laugh escapes me, and she grins. Happiness surges through me, but I fight to keep it at bay. I'm not getting my hopes up, even though I can feel happy tears burning behind my eyes.
"Are you sure you're okay with this? Like really okay?" I ask, my voice hopeful. I'll ask a hundred times if I have to.
She places her glass down and levels a stare at me. "No. I was just kidding actually. I was seeing where your head’s at."
My lips part in shock, heart plummeting to the floor. I had a feeling it was too good to be true. I'm a little hurt. I know we joke all the time, but not where it hurts the other person.
"That was cruel," I say honestly. "How would you feel if I dangled a stack of bills in front of you and then said you couldn't have it?"
Her lips twitch and now I'm just getting angry. It was downright mean to do that.
"Would I do that to you? Seriously. I'm just playing with you, Aub. I know I have my moments, but I wouldn't purposely set out to hurt you. I was being real. I want you guys to be together, if it's what you want, and I think you want it." She pauses. "You want it, don't you?"
I nod, feeling a little torn. "I do. I miss him so much, but I'm worried it'll get weird between us."
She smiles appreciatively. "As long as we don't hide anything from each other, it won't. Promise. I was serious when I said you have my blessing."
We talk a little more, and by more, I mean I repeatedly ask her if she's sure she's okay if I speak to her dad. We have a few more mimosas, then pay the tab.
If someone would've told me that this is how I would spend my Saturday after opening my nonprofit organization—talking about my best friend's dad and how I can see him romantically—I would've laughed in their face. I want to see James as soon as possible, but it's been a long time and he was angry with me when I left him.
I sigh, hopeful. My heart is a wild mess.
Leaving the restaurant, we step outside to the curb and hail a taxi. Natalie has a day job with a client and needs to leave to get ready.
"Listen, I gotta cancel tonight," she says.
I frown. "Why? We just made plans like an hour ago." I was looking forward to hanging out. Sometimes the nights get lonely, even with all the cats.
She shrugs and digs into her purse. "I know, but I have a feeling you're going to have plans later."
I blink in confusion. "What?"
Natalie looks over my shoulder and a smile tugs at her lips. Her eyes are filled with tenderness and joy that causes me to freeze.
Just as I'm about to turn around and follow her gaze, I feel him. Lips parting on a gasp, I'm rendered speechless. My hand flies to my stomach and I hold myself. My breathing deepens. Natalie's soft eyes meet mine for a brief second and she gives me a gentle smile.
James walks up to us and my world stops. I focus on only him, unable to look away. Leaning in, he gives his daughter a kiss on the head and then a hug. They greet each other. I'm in shock, staring, wondering if this is real or not. Natalie finally gets a taxi. We say goodbye, but it's a blur because all I see is him.
