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My terrified eyes meet Joshua’s. “It’s ok Josh, calm down baby.” I walk slowly over to him as he sucks precious air into his lungs. He’s furious. He thinks I slept with Jesten. I slowly slide my hand up his perspiration-clad arm as his dark eyes meet mine.
“Sshhh,” I whisper to try and calm him. “Goodbye Jesten,” I snap, “Max show him out.”
The guards leave the room and I am left with my broken wild animal.
“Sshhh, it’s ok, baby,” I whisper. “He’s gone.”
Chapter 30
Max stands in the doorway watching us. Joshua has his hands on his head and is breathing heavily, his eyes are downcast and unable to meet mine. I stand in front of him, my heart breaking. This looks bad, I am in my nightdress, it’s nine o’clock at night and Jesten was here. Could he tell when he opened the door that I had just pulled from Jesten’s grip? I would have lost it too had I walked in on this. I will never forgive Jesten for saying I loved it—what a trouble-making asshole.
My eyes flick to Max who is still standing at the door, ensuring my safety no doubt. The worry is written all over his face.
“It’s ok, Max, can you give us some privacy please?” I murmur as my eyes stay planted on Joshua’s broken face.
“Are you sure?” he questions.
“Fucking get out!” Joshua screams as he loses control once again.
I nod nervously to Max and mouth the words, “Go.”
Max holds my glare and lifts an eyebrow in silent question. I give him a nod and he leaves silently.
Joshua is still gasping for breath.
“Baby,” I whisper as I grab his face between my hands gently. “I swear on my mother’s life I did not sleep with him.” His eyes still look at the ground.
“Joshua, I went to the hotel the other night to make you think I had done it, I knew the guards would tell you,but I didn’t have any intention of going through with it. It’s only you, Joshua, it’s only ever been you.”
His angry eyes meet mine.
I shake my head nervously as tears of guilt fill my eyes.
His glare holds mine. “How long?’
I frown, not understanding the question. “What do you mean?”
“How long have you wanted him?”
My eyes widen in shock as I understand the question. “I haven’t wanted him—we are friends,” I whisper, mortified.
Joshua raises an eyebrow in disgust. “Do not insult my fucking intelligence!” he yells, making me jump.
I swallow the lump of fear in my throat and drop my head. “Nothing has ever happened,” I whisper.
“When he told you to think of him while we had sex, is that what you have been doing all along?”
My mouth drops open in horror. “Oh my god, no, how could you think such a thing? I have only gotten to know him in the last six months and we are just friends.”
“A friend you are attracted to.”
I nod softly. “Yes,” I whisper as shame rips through my stomach and the tears fall onto my cheeks.
“He said you loved it.” He runs his tongue over his front teeth in contempt as his eyes bore holes through me.
“I know and I am never speaking to him again for lying to you like that. He’s
baiting you, Joshua, and you took it hook, line and sinker. Nothing has ever happened between us, I promise,” I cry.
