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I tuned out as they started to talk about wine, turning back to my plate while my latent awareness of Jason rose to the surface again. I knew I should talk to him, or else it was going to become glaringly apparent to everyone else that we had barely said a word to each other all night.
His long fingers were wrapped lightly around the stem of his glass. I remembered things those fingers had done to me and momentarily lost my train of thought.
He smiled my way, and I literally felt my insides clench.
“Fancy meeting you here,” he murmured.
I tried to smile. “I didn’t know you were going to come.”
He raised one eyebrow. Jeez, why does he have to be so devastatingly sexy? “And if you had, you wouldn’t have come?”
I gulped down some wine before facing him again. “Probably not.”
“Why not?” he asked, leaning toward me and bringing his lips even closer. I knew just how those lips felt on mine, how they trailed heat down my skin. If I kissed him now, they would taste of wine and sex and memories.
Because then I wouldn’t be considering dragging you from your chair and finding the nearest place to spread my leg open for your cock.
“I don’t know,” I replied with a small shrug. “After our last conversation, I would have thought showing up at your parents’ home with you in attendance would be like sending mixed signals.
His gaze dropped to my breasts, and I wondered if he could see the hardening of my nipples under the fabric of my dress. Under his gaze, I felt them tighten even more.
His lips curved. “I don’t know about mixed signals,” he said slowly. “I think I’m reading your signals very clearly.
My throat felt dry, and I took another gulp of wine, pretending I didn’t understand what he meant, didn’t know he could read my need for him like I was an open book. Colin was telling Grant and Helen about growing up in a small town in England and going to boarding school at a young age while Amy looked adoringly at him. I focused my attention on them, forcing my mind to ignore the man seated so close beside me.
It wasn’t easy, but for the rest of the meal, most of the conversation centered on Colin and Amy, and I did my best to join in, spreading my attention all around so I wouldn’t for one moment find myself focused on Jason again.
After dinner, Amy followed Grant to the wine cellar to pick out another bottle for us to drink outside on the patio. Helen shooed Colin away from helping with the dishes, though she wasn’t so successful with Jason and me. We stacked the plates and carried them over to the kitchen where Helen rinsed and loaded them in the dishwasher.
“You shouldn’t have bothered,” she said, smiling gratefully as we brought in the last of the plates. “I’m sure I can manage from here.”
Jason washed his hands and wiped them on a towel then planted a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks for dinner,” he told her. “I’m going out back.”
I tried not to ogle his long legs as he strode away and chose to linger in the kitchen, not eager to join him outside just yet. Helen finished loading the dishwasher and started to wipe the sink.
“It’s really nice outside tonight,” she mused. “Just warm enough, and the sky is so clear you can see all the stars…and the lake is just beautiful at night.”
“I saw it from the window upstairs. It’s lovely.”
“Yes.” Her voice was warm. “The kids used to swim out there when they were younger. It seems so long ago now.”
I made a sound of agreement. I didn’t know how it felt to be an empty nester, but I could imagine missing the vibrancy of teenagers in a silent house. I washed my hands, and as I dried them, I noticed a picture frame above one of the counters. It was one of those electronic ones where the pictures were part of a slideshow. There were a few pictures of Amy and Jason, then one of Jason and a much younger Grant at Disneyland. Jason looked about four years old. He was clutching a furry rabbit and a balloon, and he looked miserable.
My heart ached with a weird desire to comfort that long-ago Jason. “You’d think he’d be more excited to be at the happiest place on earth,” I mused aloud.
Helen came over to peer at the picture. “Oh! That picture.” She shook her head. “Actually, he was miserable. His mother had just left, and he missed her so much. Grant says he used to cry himself to sleep at night.”
For a moment, I was at a complete loss. “His mother?”
Helen looked at me and understanding washed over her features. “You didn’t know,” she said softly. “He’s my son, but no, I didn’t give birth to him. His mother left about a year before I met Grant.”
“How awful,” I murmured, my voice small. I’d told Jason he had no idea what it was like to lose someone while totally unaware that the person who was supposed to love him most in the world had walked out on him.
“I think they must have picked the wine by now,” Helen said. “We should join them on the patio and leave the past for another time, okay?”
The night sky was clear, and the stars burned brightly. The wine was smooth and mellow and made me feel warm, just not warm enough to forget some of the things reckless I’d said to Jason.
I heard him laugh. I let him refill my glass. I listened to his deep voice when he spoke and ached with the need to tell him how sorry I was for the way I’d rejected him that night.
