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“Do you... have any bottled water?” I asked.
She nodded toward a small refrigerated section. “Always got a few up front.”
“I’ll take the biggest one you have.”
As Linda rang me up, I noticed she had a small rose tattooed on the inside of her wrist.
“I love that,” I said softly, nodding at it.
“What’s that, sweetie?” she asked.
“Your tattoo,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, smiling and glancing down at it. “Ain’t much compared to all yours, but thank you.”
I turned, pointing out the single rose I had tattooed on the back of my upper arm. “This was one of my first ones, too.”
“Well, look at that,” she said, squinting as she saw it. “Everybody thinks roses are so ordinary, and they are. But I always thought there was something kinda special about that, on its own.”
“I agree,” I said.
“My husband and I couldn’t afford a big bouquet when we got married. 1971 and we were plenty foolish. Spent more money on our Pontiac than our wedding.”
I forced a weak laugh.
“But I woke up the morning after the wedding and he’d gotten me a single red rose,” she said, smiling, the deep-set dimples in her cheeks creasing. “And now he’s done that every anniversary since. And hell, if that’s what people think is too ordinary… I’m damn glad to have the ordinary life I have.”
My throat constricted, but I wasn’t going to let myself cry in front of this liquor store worker.
I swallowed hard, nodding at her. “That kind of ordinary is beautiful,” I said.
“So you know how it feels, too,” she said.
I shook my head a little. “I don’t… I don’t know if I’ve ever had an ‘ordinary.’ And I think I want it more than anything.”
She watched me, pausing a moment. “I normally tell all my customers to come again sooner rather than later,” she said. “Something tells me I don’t want to see you in here again, though.”
I pulled in a breath. “You don’t want to see me in here unless I’m buying water, soda, or a jar of Maraschino cherries,” I said.
She gave me a nod of recognition. “Got it,” she said. “Well, hope you find your ordinary out there, right?”
“Right,” I said.
She smiled again, sauntering off to continue stocking beers in the fridge section. I quietly left her a healthy tip before walking back out into the night. I got back in my car, chugging half the water bottle in one go.
My hand was shaking as I reached for my phone.
I dialed and the phone rang and rang before Katie picked up.
“Liam,” she said. “I’ve missed the hell out of you.”
“I miss you so much, Katie,” I said, my voice breaking a little. Hearing Katie’s voice was the first tether to reality I’d felt in hours. It was like finally shrugging off a bad dream, coming up gasping for air, still so disoriented.
I was okay.
Even if I was not okay.
If I needed to find my way back to ordinary, Katie was going to be there.
“Oh no,” she said. “Is everything okay?”
“Colin was here tonight,” I said.
“What? In Kansas?”
“He… found me,” I said.
“That piece of shit. Is he bothering you? Do you need to get an actual restraining order?”
I pulled in a long, shaky breath, leaning back in the driver’s seat. “I don’t think so. I think he was just… trying to show me up. Trying to get to me.”
“Are you okay?”
I gulped down another sip of water. “I just walked out of a liquor store,” I said.
“Wait. Liam…” she whispered.
“I left with only a water bottle. I didn’t even want anything.”
“Oh, thank God,” she sighed.
“But Colin found me tonight, and then I told Red that I loved him… like, love love him, not just sex love him, like I want to marry him and get wrinkly with him and find my ordinary with him, and everything feels like it’s so fucking upside down, and I don’t know how to handle any of it—”
“Wait. Press pause. You told Red you want to marry him?”
“I couldn’t believe it, either.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. As soon as I said it, I got in my car and drove off. I was on autopilot. I couldn’t keep staring in his eyes, Katie, I was going to die—”
“You admitted you are head over heels in love with him, and then you ran away?”
I paused. “Well, I drove away.”
“Without even hearing what he had to say?”
“There’s no way he has anything to say. I’m sure that was the last time I’ll ever see him. Red doesn’t want those things with me. He watched me like a deer in the headlights after I said it. So I bolted.”
Katie was silent for a moment. “Um… am I still speaking to Liam Hardy, or is this a clone sent to replace you?”
I snorted. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“The Liam Hardy I knew would be crying tears of joy or jizzing all over the place if Red didn’t immediately kick you off the premises of his bar.”
