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What’s going on? What has happened to this family? Dr. Neil pours them each a glass of water and brings it over as she waits for them to calm down. Eventually, both girls compose themselves enough to tell us what happened.
“It seemed like we lost her, she looked gone, in her own world, always away in her head, never trying to listen or interact with us. She was incapable being around our mum because she tried to force her to process the loss, to share the memories of her boys with other family members. Her husband, Sam, was still recovering from the accident, and he was feeling guilty that he survived when their boys died,” Raine explains with such heavy heart that makes me shudder.
“When we tried to talk or make her get out of the house, she would become so angry and throw things at us, screaming. She wouldn’t let Sam get close or sleep in the same room. They got really distant. She stopped eating or showering, and lost lots of weight. Sandra started to ignore the family, grieving on her own. We would find her crying in her room for hours. Everybody was worried that our sister might kill herself because she’d lost her will to live and be around people. We agreed that she needed professional help.” Raine grows silent, as if recalling the memory.
“Raine, it’s ok, take your time,” the therapist says, with a calm and reassuring voice.
“We went back to Lithuania for the funeral, and to have mass there. Since they had their urns prepared, the family didn’t want them to keep their ashes for too long. That’s why we flew back to our birth country, to have a burial ceremony there. Sandra retreated further into herself, looking like a pale doll with crystal eyes, making us all worry even more. She didn’t speak with anyone or react to anyone’s coaxing to eat.” Raine stops talking, a choking sound catching in her chest. Aisha takes over.
“One day, we gathered all the family to talk about our worries that Sandra wasn’t dealing with the grief. Our mum suggested taking her to the mental psychiatric clinic, where she worked before she left the country. We decided that medical treatment and a psychologist might help before it was too late. I believe she feared that Sandra was losing grip on reality, as our mum has seen a lot of young people in depression in her line of work.”
“Peter, our dad, was firm believer that she was acting crazy, and the family just convinced ourselves that she needed to be locked away for a while, giving her a chance to cope with the loss.”
I listen with dread, goose bumps raising the hair on my skin, not liking the direction this is going.
“The problem is that Cassandra caught us planning to take her to the hospital and started to panic.” There’s regret in Raine’s eyes.
“Our mum already had an injection with the suppressants ready, so they jumped her while she was unaware. She screamed, pleaded, until the drugs kicked in. We helped cart her to the hospital, where she spent four weeks in their care,” Aisha finished, clearly certain it was the most horrible decision they ever made.
“How long after the funeral did this happen?” Dr. Neil asks them, scribbling her notes furiously.
“A few days later, perhaps five,” Aisha tells her.
“Do you know what happened in the hospital after you left her there?”
“I remember that our mum mentioned she was very aggressive to begin with. They had to sedate her. Sandra also attacked them. A psychiatrist thought that she needed to be tied to the bed at night for her own protection, as she tried to run away. They made us aware that she felt like a cornered animal and that it would take time for treatment to kick in.”
“These are very harsh and unnecessary ways to deal with a grieving mother so soon after the funeral. Why on earth would the family sign up for it?” Dr. Neil asks.
“Well, in our birth country, this kind of institution deals with these types of people in this manner, and besides, we were too scared of losing Sandra to see that this might create more issues in the long run,” Raine explains.
“The accident happened a month before the funeral wherefore we had to delay the burial as Sam was still in the hospital, recovering. My sister decided to cremate her lost children and kept urns in her bedroom. It was really creepy.”
“I see. How did Sandra act when she came back home from the hospital?”
“She was very collected and smiled calmly as she made small talk with us on the way to the airport. Mum wasn’t there anymore, she had to fly back to Italy for work, but our dad was, and he was telling her that everything would be fine now, as they said their quick goodbyes. She wasn’t crying though, even if we were very emotional about the tragedy the family was dealing with. She was trying to comfort us instead.” Aisha has a faraway look on her face.
“Did you see her cry after she came back home, or talk about her kids with you?”
“No, she never spoke about them. She started to run a lot and her weight dropped even more. Eventually, she became very outraged with Sam. They fought a lot about everything. She lashed out at every opportunity he tried to talk to her.” Raine’s face looks sad, most likely remembering the family they once had before it fell apart.
“And your relationships, are they like before?”
“We used to be very close. After Sandra came back from Lithuania, she was distant and cautious with what she shared with me. The situation hasn’t changed, even after Aisha came to live to England.”
“Are you saying that she didn’t trust you anymore?”
Silent tears roll down Raine’s face as she gets lost in her own thoughts.
“I guess she didn’t, and she still doesn’t, even now.”
Ripped Ties
~Logan~
I leave the clinic with two young women who appear to be holding on by single threads. As we walk to my car, they wrap each other in an embrace. The heartache rips through them in a torrent of tears as soon as they reach the vehicle.
Although I’m seething over this family’s mistakes and cruelty, I can’t watch them so distressed. Pulling them into an embrace, I hold their shaking frames as they cry.
