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I tense up, but Lucas distracts me. “Hey, she’s coming around.”
There is a numb expression painted on her features. The muscles relax, and she falls asleep.
“The twins can’t wait to eat, Logan!” Raine shouts from the stairs.
“Shit! Let’s bring her to the room.” I can manage to let them breastfeed with help from her sisters.
Both twins attack their momma, gulping if they are starving kittens. While Raine and Aisha help to hold their positions, my brothers and father remain in the room, in case they’re needed. I’ll kill them later, if I see so much as one wrong look. Right now, I can’t leave her.
Afterward, we leave Cassandra tucked under the covers, as Liane and Leon happily sleep in their cots. The family gathers downstairs to have a drink.
“Tomorrow, I will call the therapist, and I’ll see what she tells me about these episodes. We should get rest and deal with the fallout in the morning. Stay, there are enough rooms. Raine, could you please help everyone to settle down? I’ll stay with your sister.” She nods, and I go upstairs, scared to leave Cassandra alone.
While I undress, I watch her sleep, looking as innocent as a dark angel. I take a shower and find a few painkillers. Then I brush my teeth and go to join her in bed.
Around four in the morning, I pull her frail body to mine and instinctively, Cassandra curls into me. Her cold nose breathes in my scent, and her lips brush my skin. Perfect. Finally, I fall asleep, knowing she is safe in my arms and dreading the morning, terrified she will want to get away from us.
I don’t want to admit it, but what if she’s right? Perhaps she needs this space to heal. Must be very daunting to feel so out of control, just to wake up to the disturbing realization of what you did while in a trance.
“What I am going to do with you, my dark angel? Why can’t I keep you? How will I give you away?”
~Cassandra~
The bright sun rays shining through the window wake me up as they caress my face, trying to get attention. Slowly, I lift my eyelids to find two birds chirping on the windowsill outside, gossiping together. About me, I’m sure.
What are you to talking about, you two chitchats?
As I listen to their chirping, I notice that I’m sheltered by a warm, muscular chest. The owner still sleeps next to me with his arms wrapped around me. I feel safe and cocooned.
Taking account of my bearings, I find a leaf next to my bed and few sticks, as if somebody from outside walked in here and left bits and pieces behind. I hear Leon speaking with Liane in their baby voices, much like the two birds by the window. After I brush a chaste kiss on his lips, I slip away to check on them.
The kingdom of toys displayed on the shelves greets me. I walk towards their cots to find them smiling and waving their legs and arms, demanding my attention.
“Good morning, how did you sleep? Mummy missed you. How about we have a sip of warm milk and then try a new porridge for a change?” I pick up Liane as my girl gives me the happiest smile ever. I attach her to my breast, singing a lullaby to keep Leon calm.
“Good morning. May I come in?” Darren asks me, a little bit flustered.
“Sure.
Grab me that scarf so I can cover up.” He brings me the blueish scarf I use very rarely.
“May I pick him up?” I nod as he starts to talk with his grandkid who happily chats back.
“I am sorry that your stay is so stressful instead being more of a bonding experience.”
He comes closer as if to exchange kids, but he gives me a kiss on the forehead. “You are a wonderful mother, Cassandra. I believe you love my son more than you let him know. Your trauma is not your fault. We only can choose how we deal with it. I respect you for your determination and strength.” He finally gives me my son as I pass him Liane, who watches Grandpa with a trembling lip.
“Good morning.” Logan comes over to kiss his daughter, making her forget her scare. “Dad, she loves to listen to the stories by the window.” He comes close to me, lifting the scarf and discarding it next to my chair, then giving our boy a soft kiss. He turns to me.
“You’re ok?”
I’m about to answer but stop. There are dark circles under his eyes and worry lines on his face, while his lips are stiff with tension.
“What happened?” He averts his gaze, looking instead at his son. Since he’s not answering, it makes me worry. “Logan, tell me.”
He raises his green emeralds, unsure how to respond. “You ran off to the lake in the middle of the night. We couldn’t find you.”
I try to remember, but nothing comes back to me. “I don’t recall it.” Then I realize I left my kids on their own again. Leon gets very frustrated, probably feeling my anxiety and fear bouncing in my heart like a ball.
