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She stared at him. He needed a shave and he looked tired. It increased his appeal about one hundred per cent.
‘Can I come in?’ he asked, still in the same quiet voice.
She stood aside in answer and he passed her into the hall but there he waited for her.
‘Well?’ he said, making no effort to touch her. ‘I take it you haven’t lost your phone?’
‘No, I haven’t lost my phone.’
‘Then why the hell have you refused to talk to me?’ he bit out with a suddenness that made her jump.
She recovered almost immediately. ‘You said you wanted to talk to me,’ she said grimly. ‘So talk.’
‘What?’ He stared at her as though she had lost her senses.
‘On the phone, you said you needed to explain something. Could it be the reason you told the builders to stop work? I phoned George,’ she added when he didn’t react. ‘I needed to know what was happening.’
‘I told you to wait until I got back. It was only a couple of days, damn it.’
‘I needed to know what was happening,’ she repeated tonelessly. ‘You call from America and tell me work on the house has stopped—’ she was not going to mention the woman, she had promised herself that ‘—and then expect me to sit here just twiddling my thumbs without any proper explanation? I don’t think so.’
‘What’s the matter, Marianne?’
Struggling for calmness, she said, ‘Funny, but that’s exactly what I was going to ask.’ A shaft of sunlight shone through the hall window and picked out each feature of his dark countenance. Every fibre of her being was calling out to him but doggedly she stood there, refusing to weaken. ‘Would you like to tell me why you’ve stopped work on Seacrest?’
‘Can we sit down?’
She inclined her head towards the drawing-room door in way of reply and after a moment of searching her face, his blue eyes unreadable, he turned and led the way.
Contrary to his words, however, he remained standing when he faced her. Again the piercing eyes searched her face and then he said, ‘Something tells me I haven’t handled this very well.’
It wasn’t what she had expected but she couldn’t afford to show any emotion. ‘Before you left, the night you came to tell me about the fire, you said we couldn’t go on as we were. Then I hear work has stopped on the house.’ She drew in a steadying breath. ‘You’re clearly having second thoughts about—’ she had been about to say us but changed it to ‘—the project.’
‘Yes, I am.’
Her stomach turned and she felt sick. But she had known it so she shouldn’t be surprised, she told herself silently. ‘I see.’
‘I’m not sure you do. Look—’ he raked a hand through his hair ‘—I don’t pretend to be the most intuitive of men. All this talk about reading body language and the hidden signals, it’s beyond me. I know you want me physically, that’s not in question, but I’m not sure how you see the future. I mean—me in the future, long-term.’ He stopped abruptly. ‘Hell, do you know what I mean?’
Dredging up an answer through the confusion she was feeling, she said shakily, ‘Are you asking me if I see us together for a long time?’
‘No, I’m asking you if you see us together for ever.’ And then he was at her side, taking her in his arms as he said, ‘I’m doing this all wrong. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, damn it. And I didn’t want to rush you, to make you say anything you didn’t want to say. But I’m not the most patient of men, my love, and I’m not sure how much I can take. I need to know—No, I need to tell you how I feel first. Then it’s up to you how we proceed.’
He moved her from him slightly. ‘I love you, Marianne. I never thought I would say that again but it’s true. I spoke so much garbage when we first met so I have to make it absolutely clear now, I know that. I love you. I knew I loved you some time ago but I had to sort out my head and mean it when I proposed marriage and kids and the rest of it. I should have done it weeks ago but I was afraid.’
‘Afraid?’ she whispered, barely able to breathe through the welling emotion. ‘Of what?’
‘You. The power you have over me. The power to hurt. Of you saying you don’t think you can love me.’ He swallowed hard. ‘I’ve had to face the fact I’m a coward where you’re concerned.’
‘Rafe—’
‘I was a swine when we first met and we couldn’t have got off to a worse start, I accept that. All the things I said about your parents, your mother, it was my own hang-ups working through. I’m not proud of it but you need to know I don’t think like that any more. Dad and I had some long talks about stuff. It was painful for both of us but it cleared the air. He’s got regrets about building the business at the cost of missing time—family time—when I was young, but I see now it wasn’t because he didn’t love my mother enough.’
‘You’d been thinking that?’ she murmured, her senses so taken up with the feel and closeness of him she was having difficulty concentrating. And he’d spoken of marriage, of children, hadn’t he?
He nodded. ‘Marianne, I can’t promise you I’d be the easiest man to live with. I’d get it wrong sometimes and make a mess of things, but one thing I can promise you is that you’ve got my heart and soul for eternity. I love you, I’ll always love you.’
‘Oh, Rafe.’ She didn’t know she was crying until he brushed the tears from her cheeks. ‘Rafe, why didn’t you say? I’ve been thinking all sorts of things, that you wanted to finish it.’
