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“Hello…” Tamia said, pinching my shoulder.
“Ouch,” I yelped.
“Well, I was trying to get your attention. I asked about Julian and the plan. How is it going?”
“Oh yeah,” I managed. “I don’t know, Tamia. I really don’t know. Everything is just so messed up right now. I mean, it seemed so fun at first, but now I just really miss my man. And I wish this was all over.”
“Oh, poor thing.” Tamia rubbed my shoulder. “Well, what about the next step, Darious J? I actually thought that would work.”
“Well, after all of the drama with Kyle in the park, Tasha and I agreed Darious J would just be overkill. If Julian saw me out with two different men, I’d run the risk of—”
“Hoe Status,” Tamia said, finishing my sentence. It was the dreaded category no woman ever wanted a man she even remotely liked to put her into. The idea was, there were three categories men put women in: 1. Wifey Status—someone he could take home to Mama. 2. Friend Status—someone fun he could kick it with. 3. Hoe Status—the sex freak who may have sexed half the people in the city.
“Damn, Troy. That’s a tough break. So no Mr. ‘Put It Down on Me’?” Tamia said, gyrating down to the ground.
“No Mr. ‘Put It Down on Me.’” I shook my head.
“I bought a new memory card for my digital camera for that one. Well, maybe I can get Tasha to hook me up with him now.”
“Tamia!”
“Well, there’s no need for all of us to suffer. I need some loving, too!” Tamia took a sip of my soda. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Everything is changing right now and I can’t explain it, you know?” I said. “And sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it. Since I broke up with Julian, things have been different for me. Everything is changing and now I see all the things that were wrong with me. With how I was acting—Julian was right about some of that stuff he said about me. I put everything on our relationship—the vacations, my parents, wanting to get married, all of it. I was so stuck on being Mrs. Julian James, I couldn’t see straight. And now all of that crap that was important to me before just isn’t anymore. Now I just want him back.”
“Why don’t you just tell Julian how you feel then, Troy? Like what’s been going on with you.”
“Yeah, I know. I want to, but then there’s Kyle.”
“Kyle?” Tamia said. “Your friend Kyle?”
“Yeah, we’ve been really close these past couple of weeks.” I tossed my empty soda can into the garbage and smiled, thinking of the look on Kyle’s face when he was standing in the doorway of the studio.
“That’s cool. So what’s the problem? Are you catching feelings for him or something?”
“No, I’m not catching feelings. I just don’t want to hurt him.”
“Look, Troy. If you and Kyle are friends and you want to be with Julian, Kyle needs to understand that,” Tamia said, walking ahead of me into the library. “That’s it. There ain’t no ifs, ands, or buts about it. You can’t be worried about hurting his feelings. If he’s a real friend, he’ll stick around whether you’re with Julian or not.”
“I know. I just hope he doesn’t take all of this too personally,” I mumbled.
“Troy, just be honest with Kyle about your feelings for him,” Tamia said sincerely. “And be honest with yourself.” When we were halfway across the lobby on our way into the library, Tamia just stopped walking dead in her tracks.
I turned to her, thinking she was playing, but her face was turning red and she was heaving.
“Tamia, you okay?” I asked.
“Just…just a pain,” she struggled.
“Excuse me,” I shouted toward the help desk.
“No, don’t get anyone,” she said. She wiped her forehead. “I’m fine.” She took a deep breath and smiled.
“What?” I was confused.
“That was nothing. I’m fine. I just had a little chest pain.” She walked over to the elevator and pressed the button.
“Don’t play with me,” I said, stepping in front of her. “That was not nothing. Something is wrong with you. Are you still taking those fucking pills?”
