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“I love you,” she whispered. “I love you, Percy.” Holding him tight, she crooned his name over and over, delighting in his release as he’d delighted in hers.
When the last shudder finally subsided, he rolled to one side, taking her with him. His head lay against her breast, and she held him there, stroking the damp burnished curls back from his brow and temple.
This was where she would exist for eternity, this moment right here and now and no other. Whatever came, she would remember this night and her heart and soul would live and dwell in it. He had indeed made her his own. She belonged to him now, utterly.
…
“The sun is a long way from rising yet,” Percy said as Eden tried to ease off the bed, presumably to prevent his awakening.
She stilled. “I must return before I am discovered missing.”
“Why? The deed is done. Why not simply stay with me?”
“You know why.” Her voice was dull with resignation. “As I said before, I will look to continue our…arrangement after I’m married. Ravenwood won’t care what I do as long as I’m discreet.”
She could not know how true her words were. Despite a rush of anger, he rose calmly and tended the dying fire until it blazed once more. “He has told you this?”
“Not in so many words, but his manner speaks for itself. He is a cold man. He hardly speaks to me and, when he does, it is only of trivial matters. And he has certainly never tried to touch me the way you do, the way other men seem to always want to do. In fact I would say he goes out of his way to avoid it.”
She shifted, and his eyes were drawn to the way the firelight played on her bare skin. “Before I came here, I asked my stepmother why he had asked for my hand when he so clearly does not desire me. She told me only that he must marry, and I am his choice.”
“You don’t have to do this, Eden. We can leave here tonight and be gone before they can do anything about it.”
“And what of my family?” she shot back. “Everything has been agreed upon. Their ruin will only be stayed by my marriage to Ravenwood.”
“Why should you have to pay the price for your father’s poor judgment?”
A tear slid down her cheek, leaving behind a glittering trail in the dim light. “I told you, I’m not doing it for him.”
He was unable to keep the bitterness from bleeding into his voice. “And how long do you think it will be before your father puts your brother in jeopardy again?”
“He has learned his lesson.”
“At your expense, and only this one time.” Breathing deeply, he reached out to caress her shoulder. “Much as it pains me to say it, I fear his reformation won’t last. You may mark my words, for I know many men like him. They cannot stop themselves wagering even when they know they have not the means to pay the debt should they lose. It is a sickness, Eden. A sickness of the mind that progressively worsens over time. He’ll never stop until he runs out of means. It won’t be long before your family is in the same state again. Such men require someone to manage their finances lest they ruin themselves.”
“Nevertheless, I have a duty to—”
“A man who would sell you to save himself?”
Her jaw tightened. “I won’t be the one to cast a shadow of shame upon my—”
“No, but you would shame yourself by marrying a man you don’t love!”
She stared at him in silence. “Love is a sacrifice of self,” she at last whispered. “For all their faults, I love my family. They are all I have. I cannot allow them to fall if it is within my power to prevent it.”
“All you have? What of us?” His heart contracted when she did not look at him or answer. Helpless, he watched her rise and pick up her wrapper from the floor. “You love me, Eden. I heard you say it.”
“Yes.” Her voice was thick and heavy. “I won’t deny it, but I also won’t delude myself. You care for me as a friend of sorts, and you desire my body, but it is not love. I could not bear to marry you and then watch you grow indifferent toward me or worse, resentful when you meet the woman you can love. I could not stand to condemn us both to such a cruel fate.”
She bent to retrieve her sash from where it lay beside the bed. A flicker of a smile played at the corners of her mouth as she ran it between her fingers, no doubt remembering its previous employment. Tying it around her waist, she looked up to meet his eyes with an unwavering gaze.
“Percy, let us be content to remain as we are now—good friends become lovers—and enjoy it while we may, knowing we have done what is best for those innocent or unable to help themselves. My brother. My father—as you say, it is a kind of sickness he suffers. Even my stepmother. I will do what I can to save them this once and hold to the hope that my sacrifice won’t be in vain.” She turned and moved toward the door.
“Eden…” He wanted to say what was in his heart, but the words would not come. Fear bound his tongue and refused to set it loose. She loved him. He’d heard her say it. Why could he not say it back?
“Good-bye, Percy,” she said over
her shoulder. “I’ll send word when things have settled. If you still want me, I will come to you.” She paused, then padded back over and kissed him softly on the lips. “Thank you for tonight. You have given me the strength to face my fate, and for that I shall always be grateful.”
