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It would be no small task.
Aylesford had tilled and planted London thoroughly, with little thought to discretion. And as so many wives did, Lady Aylesford had publicly endured his affaires with graceful nonchalance. She’d had no choice. Had she denounced him, London’s appetite for sensation would never have allowed her a moment’s peace.
But Sabrina had seen the truth. Her mother had cared a great deal, and her heart had been broken time and again with each of her husband’s betrayals. His final one had been his worst; he’d died of the pox. He doubted Sabrina knew that little detail, but even so, she’d certainly seen enough of her mother’s pain to wish to avoid it herself.
No wonder she was terrified of her own desires.
He ran his hands through his hair, disheveling it. Why couldn’t he want someone without all these difficulties? It would be so easy to walk away now. To find some innocent girl fresh on the market. To forget the Pest.
Such thoughts were a lie, he knew. He couldn’t forget her. And he couldn’t stand the thought of her entering a cold marriage out of needless fear.
He needed to earn her trust, to show her that passion didn’t always lead to tragedy and betrayal. The problem was that every time he got near her, his blood simply ignited. That, he could not change any more than he could change when the sun rose and set.
He cast himself on the bed, groaning. Even now, he was filled with lust. But if he was to gain her confidence, he’d have to exercise the utmost self-control.
It would be a challenge—God knew how she inflamed him—but if he wanted her hand, he would have to meet that challenge.
IF ANYONE AT the house party noticed tha
t she appeared a bit wan and tired this morning, they didn’t comment on it. She ate her breakfast in silence until interrupted by a familiar voice.
“Sabrina?”
Looking up, she met Chadwick’s soft, brown eyes. “My lord?” She lowered her voice. “I thought you didn’t—”
“I came to ask if you’d reconsidered Montgomery’s offer.”
Her mouth went dry. “No, I have not,” she answered sharply. Just the mention of his name was enough to upset the calm she’d worked so hard to restore.
Nearby, heads turned and brows began to rise. She didn’t care.
Chadwick leaned closer, visibly trembling. “I know you dislike him. I’ve witnessed firsthand how he vexes you. If you do not wish to marry him, then I beg you to reconsider my offer.”
Horror filled her at the thought. “But your father—”
“My father can keep his bloody money,” he said, surprising her. “I’ll earn a living on my own. A gentleman isn’t supposed to soil his hands with trade—but I’m no gentleman, not really.” He hung his head for a moment. “My father, though he’d die before admitting it openly now, was once a merchant. He won a lady’s hand. Why cannot history happily repeat itself?”
So complete was her shock that her tongue cleaved to the roof of her mouth.
“As for Montgomery, if he objects, I shall happily challenge him. I know I probably don’t look it, but I’m quite skilled with a blade,” he added. “I’ve bested all of my instructors and feel quite confident in my abilities. Say you’ll have me and I’ll rid you of him forever. And I swear I shall never provoke you as he does. A man should have more respect for the woman he wishes to become his wife.”
For a moment, Sabrina feared she might actually faint.
Smiling tenderly, he placed a hand atop hers. “I quite forgive you for your momentary lapse in the”—he looked around and then again lowered his voice—“in the library. Montgomery is an experienced seducer, and you in your innocence could not help but be overwhelmed.” His eyes grew hard with disapproval. “I would never embarrass you so. And”—his voice sank even lower—“I vow only to touch you when you wish it.”
Her thoughts crystallized. “Come with me,” she said, grabbing his hand.
“What? Now?”
She rose. “Now.”
He remained seated, staring up at her in bewilderment. “Are you certain you’re feeling quite well?”
She looked down at him. No. She was most certainly not well. But if she did not do this now, right now, she might lose her one chance to discover whether or not her fate was truly sealed. She had to know. “If you do not come with me this instant, then you may marry Miss Bidewell, and I shall wish you joy on your wedding day.” Pulling her hand free, she walked away.
He caught up with her just as she strode through the french doors. “Have I said something to anger you?”
“Not at all, my lord.”
