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“Were you to put it on, I believe you would find it a perfect fit,” he said, bringing his hands up to cup hers. “The proprietor assured me he could gauge a woman’s ring size with a single glance.”
Though she’d not tried it on at the time, Eleanor knew that in addition to the added rubies, this ring had been several sizes too large and there had been no inscription. Realization slowly dawned. “But—that was nearly two months ago,” she whispered in astonishment, her gaze rising to meet his as he stood.
“I went back the next day and commissioned the work, replacing the outer stones and having it resized and engraved in the hope that you would one day wear it as my wife. You, Eleanor. No one else.”
Her knees began to shake so that she felt they might give way beneath her.
“It’s time you knew the truth,” he murmured, his warm fingers stroking hers. “That day I scolded you so assiduously for being too familiar—I did it because I was terrified. My reaction to your embrace was…” He paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing, his cheeks awash with sudden color. “You must understand that I had no warning and no control. In that instant, the affection I’d borne for you since we first met began to transform into something I knew you did not—and thought that you probably never would—reciprocate. I could not bear the thought of losing your friendship and trust because of my shameful desire.”
She knew her mouth was hanging open and didn’t care. It all made sense now. The way he’d subsequently avoided her—or whenever he had been with her, the way he’d behaved with such sternness, always correcting, always criticizing. He’d done it all to distance himself and keep her unaware of his true feelings for her. “That’s why you left!”
A wry smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. “Yes. That, and the fact that I could not endure the torment of watching you fall in love with and marry someone else, as I thought must surely happen. But running away did no good at all. You followed me with your letters and kept the wound fresh, so to speak. Your heart was in them, and though distance prevented me from exposing myself, it did nothing to stop my love for you growing ever deeper. When I finally returned home and you were yet unwed, I thought I would go mad. It is only because of my mother and good friends that I began to consider trying to find a way to make you see me differently.”
The irony of his admission nearly made her laugh aloud. They’d both been scheming and plotting to change each other’s perception, all the while never guessing their work had already been done.
Taking her hand and easing the ring from between her fingers, he again knelt. “I offer you not only my name, Eleanor, but my heart and my absolute devotion. It is my greatest hope that one day you will return my affection, and I’ll gladly spend the rest of my life in pursuit of that end. Please say that you will marry me.”
If a heart could burst from happiness, then hers was surely in danger of doing so now. “I will,” she finally choked out. “But you should know that you are not the only one to have kept a secret. I’ve been just as guilty as you in that regard.” Laughter broke through her tears at his puzzled expression. “We’ve been so at odds, neither of us knowing the other’s heart for fear of revealing our own! But never again.”
Reaching out, she caressed his
face. “I was so accustomed to loving you that I failed to even notice how that love had changed. I think now that I began to realize you were the only man I could ever marry the day you questioned my ‘high standards’.” She moved closer and whispered, “You are not just the example of what I should want in a husband—you are the husband I’ve always wanted.”
A fire kindled in his hazel eyes. With utmost tenderness, he took her hand, kissed it, and then slid the ring onto her third finger. “Then I am yours.” Standing, he took her in his arms.
“I have dreamed of this moment,” she said happily, stroking the back of his neck as he brought her close.
Stiffening suddenly, he drew back.
“What is it? What is wrong?” she asked, fear creeping back into her heart.
“Eleanor, I have another confession to make, one I cannot withhold from you though it will likely forever darken your view of me.” His face and neck reddened. “The night Yarborough drugged you, when I took you home…I’m afraid I took liberties no gentleman sh—”
“It was not a dream!” she blurted, certain now that what she’d thought was wishful thinking had in fact been quite real. “You kissed me!” She hadn’t meant it to sound accusatory, but such was her shock that he had behaved in so bold a manner that it couldn’t be helped.
One corner of his mouth twitched. “Actually, you kissed me first.”
Now it was her turn to blush. Apparently, her concerns about having acted inappropriately with him had been quite valid. “I—you—I did?”
“You really don’t remember?”
She didn’t remember how it all started, but she did know there had been a good deal more than just kissing. He’d touched her in ways no gentleman should ever touch a lady outside the marriage bed. Her cheeks stung, and she knew her entire face must be awash with color.
So much for the proprieties—and after all his lecturing! Despite her outrage, a delicious shiver rippled across her skin as she recalled that night, her wantonness, and his desire.
His desire.
The shiver became a lightning blaze as the realization hit her that love wasn’t all that motivated him to want to marry her. He desires me! Enough that he’d set aside all self-discipline and behaved as no true gentleman would. And she’d liked it. She’d liked it a lot. So much, in fact, that she wanted him to do it again at the earliest opportunity.
After we are married, of course, she corrected herself. …Or at least not until after our engagement has been properly announced.
“You were delirious,” he explained, clearly mistaking her silence for umbrage. “While I was trying to keep you from falling over in the carriage, you kissed me. Quite ardently.” His flush deepened. “I’m ashamed to say that I took advantage of your impassioned state. I thought I might never have another chance, you see,” he rushed on. “Had you recalled the incident the following day, I would have asked for your hand at once, but you seemed to have lost all memory of it—and all desire for me. I thought the drug responsible for your actions, and I did not wish to impose on you, if I was not truly wanted.”
Oh, she’d wanted him. And in her compromised condition, she’d had no qualms about letting him know it. And he wants me! The wicked part of her rejoiced. Stretching up, Eleanor put her lips close by his ear. “My dear Lord Wincanton, when we are married you may impose upon me as often as you please, and I can promise you will suffer no complaint from me.”
The bold words set her cheeks aflame all over again, and for a moment she worried that she might have stepped beyond the bounds of propriety—even for a fiancée who’d already been compromised by her intended.
Saint Jane would certainly never have acted so brazenly…but then I doubt he ever behaved with her the way he did with me. Her concerns vanished an instant later as her husband-to-be leaned down and took her mouth in a sweet, molten kiss that sent rivers of heat snaking down into her belly.
