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“And you think I would be happier with you?”
Yes! his mind shouted. “I do,” he answered with what he hoped was dignity. “As I said, I am not perfect. Far from it.” A pained laugh escaped before he could rein it in. “But I know you well enough to know you could never be happy with a man like Russell.”
Emotions flickered across her face, and for a moment she appeared to waver. Then she said, “I cannot, Your Grace. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate your offer—I do—but I cannot accept it. While noble, your intent is, I fear, misplaced.”
He frowned. “My intent is to save you from making an enormous—”
“Mistake?” she supplied. Her lips trembled, but she maintained composure. “And you don’t think marrying me out of a sense of obligation to your dead brother would be a mistake?”
It had cost her dearly to say it, he knew. “It isn’t like that. I—”
But she didn’t let him finish. “It would never work. There is far too much history between us. More than I think we can ever overcome.” Her beautiful hazel-green eyes shimmered with the brightness of tears. “I must—I must respectfully decline, Your Grace.”
She’d refused him. Roland grew numb from the tips of his fingers all the way down to his booted toes. Somehow, he managed to bow. “I deeply regret I have upset you. Please forgive me. I bid you good evening.” Turning, he departed, fighting himself every step of the way. He didn’t want to leave her standing there alone, but he knew she could not afford a public scene, not with her sister having just become engaged.
He would speak with her later, in private.
Nineteen
Her head still swam, even two days later. Her afternoon toilette forgotten, Harriett stared at her reflection in the glass, not really seeing it.
He asked me to marry him.
She’d feigned illness yesterday in order to avoid seeing him, knowing that if she did so, she would surely say or do something regrettable.
He asked me to marry him. And she had refused in spite of an almost overwhelming impulse to say yes, to fling herself into his arms and say yes. Desire had been pounding through her at the time, as well as despair over her conversation with Russell. She’d never been so torn.
Manchester wanted her, yes—but he didn’t love her. He hadn’t made any mention of that particular sentiment. He’d admitted to liking her, but that was all. Russell had once loved her at least, and he seemed prepared to do so again. Provided she didn’t mess things up.
“You cannot avoid it forever.”
Yelping, Harriett whirled to face her sister. “What do you mean? And don’t sneak up on me like that!”
“You’re going to have to tell him,” said Cat, leaning against the doorframe.
Harriett had told her about Russell’s proposal—the pertinent part of it, at least. She had not confided in Cat regarding the conditions of that offer or the other proposal, if indeed it could be called one. “I will speak with Lord Manchester upon my return. That will be soon enough.”
Cat’s eyes narrowed. “I meant Papa. You know he’s been fretting over your situation. I cannot believe you have not already told him. But now you mention it, I am curious to know why you would wish to delay informing Lord Manchester. Would he not need to know as soon as possible so that he might increase his efforts to find a replacement for you? Or doesn’t that matter to you anymore?”
Harriett pressed her lips together. “You’re right, of course,” she said, rising. “Though we aren’t making an official announcement for a while yet, there isn’t any reason for me to keep it from either of them. I shall go and let Papa know at once and then inform His Grace.”
She stopped, her hand on the bell. “I’d planned to wait until the end of the month to see Arabella also, but there isn’t any point waiting for that either, is there? I shall go and ask Papa to allow me to leave in the morning.” She rang for her maid.
“Harriett, what are you running from?”
The quiet accusation gnawed at her conscience. “Nothing,” Harriett replied, hoping her smile was convincing. “There is little to be gained from sitting around here doing next to nothing for the next two weeks, is there? His Grace is perfectly capable of managing without me for a while, and I’m sure Bella will be glad of my company. God knows how I’ve missed her and worried over her.”
Much to her relief, Cat seemed to accept this. “I wish I could go with you.”
“No, my dear. You must remain here to hold your Hammond’s heart captive and plan your wedding.”
Though her chin trembled a little, Cat nodded. “You’ll be back to help me as soon as you can, right?”
It was hard sometimes to remember her sister was only sixteen. “Of course I will,” Harriett promised, hugging her tight.
Papa was delighted to learn of Russell’s proposal and her acceptance. He was not, however, happy to hear they must refrain from announcing the engagement until the uproar over Cat’s coup died down. Announcing her intent to immediately relinquish her daily duties at the Hospital had gone a long way toward restoring his good humor.
The sun was setting when she arrived at the Hospital. Papa had been against her coming here so late, but she’d insisted, citing the need to put things in order before leaving. To her relief, he’d finally given in.
