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“I bet you were.”
Logan’s self-deprecating laughter filled the space between them.
“Hardly, I was a late developer, shall we say. Rick was always taller than me, so yeah, I guess he was the popular one. I was his little runt of a brother, the butt of the school jokes, because I’m the older twin by five minutes.” He shook his head and growled again. “I caught up of course and yeah, still not popular. Folks were afraid of me most of the time, especially once I joined Rick in the boxing ring, but this isn’t about me. You were telling me your story.”
Hannah knew a dismissal when she heard one but even that little glimpse into his childhood made her feel closer to him. Logan wasn’t a man to share confidences, and that he had told her this much, meant far too much to her.
Remember, none of this is real.
Surely, if she repeated that mantra in her head often enough it would eventually take root and squash those little insistent seeds of hope that refused to go away. Like weeds they came back time and time again, no matter how hard she tried to pull them out. This wedding was a means to an end, that’s all.
Logan put on his indicators, and to her horror started to pull into a layby and slowed down.
“What are you doing?” She grimaced at the high-pitched tone of her voice, but, surely, he wouldn’t.
“I told you what would happen if you didn’t talk so…”
“Jesus, fine, I’ll tell you. Please, just drive.”
Logan crawled along for a few meters, before he accelerated, and indicating right, joined the A-road again.
“You weren’t popular, because…” he prompted.
“Well, we moved a lot for starters. It’s hard always being the new girl, especially when you have
to wear a secondhand uniform that doesn’t fit properly. Forget when people find out who your mum is. I used to hate her coming to parents’ evening. She always smelled of booze, and she was an embarrassment, you know.”
She risked a glance at his closed off profile, and he nodded just once.
“I can’t say I know. My mum always tried her best for us. It was more us who turned into an embarrassment for her, or rather a constant worry. We both got into trouble a lot, when we were younger.” He shrugged, but the white-knuckled grip he had on the steering wheel told its own story. Hannah thought it wisest not to probe that hornets’ nest too much, and carried on with her own sorry tale of woe.
“Well, thing got even worse when I hit puberty. Unlike you, I was an early starter, and these girls started growing when I was nine. It was a nightmare. No girl wants to be the first, especially when they wouldn’t freaking stop.”
She glanced his way again, and predictably his lips had curved into a lazy grin. She thumped his arm, and he laughed.
“Sorry, I guess I get that, but I love your girls as you put it. You have a spectacular figure, Hannah. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”
While his words filled her with a warm glow she shook her head.
“Thank you, I think, but that doesn’t ring true when you’re surrounded by prepubescent boys, trust me. It was a nightmare, especially when I grew hips and thighs and all the rest of it. Not only was I the poor one, now I was the fat chick with two left feet, too. Everyone else got taller, and I stayed small and round. Still, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and all that. I very quickly learned to ignore them all and just concentrate on my studies. So now, they could add teacher’s pet to the insults they’d hurl my way, but the prom was the worst.”
She pulled a much-needed breath into her lungs, and as though he knew she needed the reassurance Logan reached across and squeezed her hand.
“Go, on what happened? Though, remembering our prom I can guess. Teenage boys are bastards at the best of times, and teen girls.” He withdrew his hand and gave an exaggerated shudder, which made Hannah giggle.
“Yeah, that. I had the hugest crush on that boy, and he actually asked me to dance at the prom. I was so excited, of course, I got even clumsier than I normally am, and let’s just say I ended up flat on my ass. Everyone was laughing, and pointing, and if that wasn’t enough, I found out he’d only done it on dare. To see whether he could get into my knickers.”
“Fucking wanker.” Logan’s murmured swearing made her laugh again.
“Yeah, I can see that now, but back then it stung. I guess I should be grateful that my embarrassing dance moves saved me from that ultimate horror. They planned to film it all, had it all set up, you see. Such a blasted cliché. Anyway, that’s my tale of woe. It took me a long time to feel comfortable in my own body after that, but I got there eventually. I’ll never be a model stick-insect type men seem to like, but I’ll do, I guess.”
The slap to her thigh came out of nowhere, and she jumped.
“What was that for?”
“That was for doubting yourself. I heard that wobble in your voice, and just so we’re clear.” His voice dropped an octave, and Hannah’s stomach fell to her boots along with it, because really, that was just so damn sexy. “I and countless other men appreciate a woman with curves. Personally speaking, I love something to hold onto when I fuck. Doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to thin girls. All shapes and sizes are beautiful in their own ways, but it’s what’s inside a person that counts.”
Hannah was tempted to argue that, but his attention was taken up by joining the Motorway, and visibility was horrendous due the weather conditions, so she kept quiet. While Logan was an excellent driver, he didn’t need the distractions. Besides, the steady movement of the car soon had her fighting a yawn. She hadn’t exactly slept well the night before—too nervous about her imminent nuptials—so the lack of sleep was catching up with her now.
