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‘It does to them. And if I go back now and tell them it was all a lie...’
‘But you must have known they’d find out eventually.’
‘Yes.’ Lady Staunton’s head fell forward. ‘I don’t know why I did it. I wasn’t thinking clearly. At the funeral everyone just kept telling me that it was such a shame, that if only I’d had a son... I felt as though I were being hit in the face every time. Finally I couldn’t bear it any longer. The words were out before I knew what I was saying and then everyone’s behaviour changed, too. I wasn’t a disappointment any more.’
‘But...’
‘I know, but once I’d said it I couldn’t go back. And I told myself that I was doing it for my husband, that it was what he would have wanted and I was making things up to him.’ She paused. ‘I know it was reckless.’
‘Very.’ Anna made a face. ‘You’ve been keeping Samuel’s inheritance unlawfully.’
‘Yes.’ Lady Staunton had the decency to look guilty.
‘And as for the way you’ve been treating him...’
‘I know.’
‘You have to tell him the truth.’
‘I was going to, I truly was. I told myself that I’d admit everything when you first arrived, but I didn’t know how to begin. So I kept putting it off and off. Then that morning when the two of you came into breakfast looking so happy and in love after you’d been walking in my water gardens, I felt jealous. It’s no excuse, I know, but it made me so angry.’ She drew her shoulders back. ‘But I’m truly sorry for the way I’ve behaved. I have to admit, from what I’ve seen of him, Captain Delaney doesn’t seem like the sort of man who’d gamble everything away.’
‘He’s not.’ Anna jutted her chin out indignantly. ‘Your husband would have known that, too, if he’d given him a chance.’
‘You’re right. He should have met him at least. Then none of this would have happened.’ Lady Staunton toyed miserably with the ends of her handkerchief. ‘Can you forgive me?’
Anna took a deep breath. Could she forgive her? She could understand, but she felt as though a bucket of cold water had just been poured over her head. If only she and Samuel had left for Bath already, she could have remained in blissful ignorance, still consoling herself with the possibility that he wouldn’t inherit. Facing an uncertain future with him was one thing. Facing an earldom, on the other hand...
‘Yes.’ She tried to swallow a feeling of rising panic.
‘Do you think that Captain Delaney will let me stay in the dower house after this?’ The Countess’s tone was faintly pleading. ‘I don’t want to go back to my family and be treated like a failure for the rest of my life.’
‘I don’t know.’ Anna felt as if her insides were churning. ‘You’ll probably need to give him some time to think about it. He’ll understand why you did it eventually, but it’s going to be a big shock.’
‘You don’t seem very pleased, either.’ Lady Staunton gave her a quizzical look. ‘You’re going to be the next Countess. You ought to be happy.’
Anna blinked. ‘You know about our engagement?’
‘I assumed. It’s obvious how you feel about each other.’
‘Yes, but...why should I be happy?’ Anna drew her brows together. ‘You were right about what you said the other day. I’m a shopkeeper. No matter who my grandparents were, I haven’t been raised for this kind of life.’
‘But I have.’ To her surprise, Lady Staunton actually sounded supportive. ‘And I can teach you.’
‘You mean like an apprentice?’
‘Why not? It’ll give me a chance to make amends.’ The other woman reached under her skirts, fumbling around for a few moments before drawing out a small cushion. ‘I don’t suppose I’ll be needing this any more.’
‘No... Are you all right?’
‘I will be.’ Lady Staunton gave a loud sniff and then hiccupped. ‘Do you know, this is the first time I’ve cried since before the funeral. It feels good.’
‘Then cry as much as you want to. Howl at the sky if it makes you feel better.’
‘I can’t do that.’
‘Why not? Because you were raised to be quiet and polite?’ Anna gave her an exasperated look. ‘Personally I’ve always thought that lady-like behaviour was overrated. Why be quiet if you want to roar? We can do it together if you like?’
‘What will the servants think?’
