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‘I suppose so.’ She sounded doubtful. ‘Then you intend on going to London, too?’
‘No—at least, not yet. Jerrard wants me to stay here, just in case.’
‘In case?’
He made a face. ‘In case things go wrong. He wants a few men in the north to protect the families left behind. You know what they say about a wounded animal being the most dangerous and there are still a few barons who support John. I have to be here to stop them if they try to muster an army.’
‘Men like your father, you mean?’
‘Yes. He already suspects something is going on. He’s got word of a plot.’
‘But if he knows, why hasn’t he told John?’
‘He probably would have if it hadn’t been for my involvement. They might be friends of sorts, but they’re both as self-serving and untrustworthy as the other. My father knows John’s temper and what he’s capable of. If he blames my father for my actions, then it means there’s a potential threat against Wintercott. So he’s waiting to see which way the wind blows.’
‘Maybe he’s protecting you?’
‘No. Believe me, if he has to sacrifice me then he will. Especially now.’ He sighed. ‘Laurent is staying in the north, too, though he loathes the King more than anyone. There was a dispute over his family estate a few years ago and John decided the only way to resolve it was for Laurent’s father to make a crippling payment to the Crown, not to mention increase his taxes.’
‘All right.’ She shifted sideways to look at him. ‘I understand why Laurent despises him, but why did you get involved?’
‘I told you, because John needs to be stopped.’
‘Are you sure it’s about him? Or is it somebody else you’re really angry at?’
He clenched his jaw, resenting the implication. ‘Do you really think I would join a rebellion just to get revenge on my father?’
‘You called him a tyrant, too. You have to admit, there are similarities.’
‘Yes, and I admit that when I left Wintercott I was angry, at myself as well as at him. But it was over. Blanche was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. So I left England and tried to forget. Then I saw the King behaving just as my father had done. John would do anything, would hurt and betray anyone to hold on to the throne. Yes, it made me angry, too, but then Bouvines happened. A battle forced by a man who wasn’t even there! So many lives were wasted that day. I wanted to stop anything like it from happening again so I joined the rebels.’ He curled his fingers into balls and then slowly unfurled them again. ‘But maybe you’re right. I thought I was acting from noble motives, to overthrow tyranny and corruption and injustice, but maybe there was more to it than that. Perhaps it was another way of getting at my father. Ultimately, if John loses his power, then my father loses his protector, too.’
‘Then maybe you want to overthrow them both?’
‘Yes.’ He nodded emphatically. ‘Without a protector, Alan and I would be able to act against our father, to control the worst of his abuses and stop anything else terrible from happening.’
‘You mean to Adelaide?’
‘I don’t want her life to be wasted like Blanche’s was.’
‘What if the King has more support than you realise?’
‘He doesn’t. He has no money left after France and he’s betrayed or alienated almost everyone who might have supported him in the past. He’s broken his promises so many times that nobody trusts him any more either. He’s brought this rebellion upon himself and he’ll have to face it alone.’
‘But what if he has money hidden somewhere to buy mercenaries? He’s done that in the past, hasn’t he?’ Her voice seemed to crack. ‘What if the rebellion fails? If he’s as ruthless as you say, then he won’t forgive you.’
‘No, if we fail then he won’t forgive us.’ Matthew repeated the words flatly. ‘Our lives and lands will be forfeit.’
‘Forfeit?’
He was aware of her body stiffening. Every part of him yearned to reach out and wrap an arm around her shoulders, to pull her close and hold tight, but it was too soon. Or possibly too late. He’d kept so many secrets that he could hardly blame her for being angry now. For not forgiving him either. But what if she never forgave him? What if she never allowed him to touch her again? The very thought filled him with horror, but he still owed her the whole truth.
‘Constance, I never intended to risk your home.’
‘You mean the King could take Lacelby away from us?’
He nodded reluctantly. ‘I honestly never thought it would come to this. I know how much this place means to you.’ This time, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching for her hand. ‘Which is why if anyone comes from the King, you need to deny knowing anything about the rebellion or the charter. Denounce me as a traitor and say you had no idea what I was involved in.’
‘Stop it!’ She wrenched her hand away. ‘Stop talking as if you’ve already been arrested for treason!’
