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‘That’s more than three months away!’ Matthew swung his leg over the bench opposite. ‘What about the charter?’
‘He wants us all to swear an oath against the charter.’
‘That’s his idea of a compromise?’
‘Apparently. He knows we won’t agree, but he’s stalling. He’s already sent envoys to the Pope asking for support.’ Jerrard sighed again, heavier this time. ‘This is a mess. No one thought it would be easy, but we need the charter, now more than ever. If we fail, John’s behaviour will be even worse.’
‘Mmm.’
‘Are you all right?’ Jerrard regarded him curiously. ‘You haven’t been yourself since you arrived in London. You seem restless.’
‘I am.’ Matthew reached for his friend’s ale and took a long draught. ‘I sent a messenger to Constance as soon as I arrived, but there’s been no reply. I’m worried about her.’
‘Why? There hasn’t been any fighting.’
‘I know. It’s just a feeling.’
‘Surely your father will take care of her if she needs help?’
‘He’s the one I’m worried about. There was an...incident while we were staying at Wintercott.’ He pushed a hand through his hair as Jerrard lifted an eyebrow. ‘I lost my temper and grabbed him by the throat. Longer than I should have.’
‘Ah. And you’re worried he wants revenge?’
‘I’m not sure what I’m worried about, I just can’t help thinking I shouldn’t have left. She asked me not to, but I came anyway.’
‘But you told her about the charter. Surely she knows what’s at stake?’
‘Yes, but...’ He drew his brows together. But what? But he’d barely been able to concentrate even during their meeting with the King? That he’d had to resist the urge to ride back to Lacelby every single day? That as much as he still wanted the charter, his single-minded clarity of purpose was utterly gone?
‘Matthew?’ Jerrard gave him a shrewd look.
‘She said I never asked her what she thought or wanted. She accused me of acting like my father, like a tyrant.’ He grimaced. ‘She had a point. I don’t want to turn into him.’
‘You know I met your father once.’
‘You did?’ Matthew’s head jerked up. ‘You never told me t
hat.’
‘I thought it might confuse things. He seemed like a man who was full of resentment.’
‘He is. At the whole world, I think.’
‘So were you the first time we met. I could almost see the rage burning inside you.’
‘I remember. I think it might have destroyed me if it hadn’t been for you.’
‘No.’ Jerrard shook his head. ‘I only helped you come to terms with it. You were the one who learned to control it. Maybe you could have turned into a tyrant like your father five years ago, but you didn’t. And you won’t. If anything, you became too controlled, so afraid of being hurt or hurting anyone that you closed yourself off to all feeling, but you’ve become a different man in these past few weeks.’
‘I fell in love with my wife.’ Matthew gave a terse laugh. ‘I thought perhaps she might care for me, too, but...I ruined things.’
‘There’s still time to fix them.’
‘I hope so.’ He glanced towards the doorway. ‘The sooner I get back to Lacelby, the better.’
‘Then go.’
‘What?’ Matthew looked around hopefully. ‘What about the charter? I can’t just abandon it.’
