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off her new doll.
‘I’m going to call her Flavia. Isn’t she pretty, Mama?’
‘She is.’
‘The man said I might like her because she has hair like me.’
Livia reached a hand out to stroke the doll’s bright red woollen hair. The stall-owner was right, though it could hardly have looked any more Caledonian. The thought made her vaguely uncomfortable. What if somebody here guessed their identity?
‘Livia?’ Marius had finished haggling and was looking at her with concern. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes.’ She sucked the insides of her cheeks, trying to control her expression. ‘I was just thinking about...’ her gaze fell on a neighbouring stall ‘...boots. You said I needed new ones.’
‘So I did.’ He sounded dubious, as if he weren’t completely convinced by her explanation.
‘What about these?’ Quickly, she picked up a pair of sturdy-looking, brown-leather ankle boots. Julius would have been horrified. ‘They look practical.’
‘Not practical enough.’ He pointed to the under-soles. ‘No hobnails.’
She blinked in surprise. ‘Are you expecting me to do marches?’
‘No, although I’m sure you’d be perfectly capable. Here.’ He passed her a pair of even sturdier-looking ones. ‘Try these.’
‘They’re man’s boots!’
‘Does it matter?’
She stared at him thoughtfully for a few seconds and then shrugged. ‘No, I suppose not.’
‘Then try them on.’
She sat down on the stool provided, unfastening her everyday sandals as Julia settled down beside her, playing with her new doll.
‘Here.’ Marius crouched down on his haunches in front of her, too. ‘Let me help.’
He reached for her foot, cupping the back of her heel in one hand as he lifted the boot in the other and then slid it inside. She wriggled her toes, trying to concentrate on her purpose and not the sudden profusion of knots in her abdomen.
‘How does that feel?’ He fastened the buckle and then looked up, green eyes hooded, and all the knots seemed to twist and tighten, forming one giant skein that would surely never unravel.
‘Good.’ Her voice sounded strange even to her own ears.
‘And the other.’
This time she held her breath, trying her hardest not to react as he lifted her other foot. It was no use. Her toes caught on the leather and she leaned forward at the same moment as he shifted towards her, bringing their faces within an inch of each other, so close that their noses were almost touching. She could feel the warm caress of his breath on her cheek and see every fleck of stubble across his chin. He needed a shave, she noticed, although she liked the effect, too. She wanted to reach out and stroke it, to feel its roughness against her own skin.
‘Can I have a wooden horse, too?’ Julia darted into the edge of her vision, pointing back to the toy stall where she’d just noticed a row of carved wooden animals.
‘No!’ Livia twisted her head sharply, simultaneously relieved and disappointed by the interruption. ‘You have enough already.’
‘Except boots. You need some of those, too.’ Marius didn’t turn his head as he spoke. She could still feel his gaze on her face, making her heart beat so rapidly she felt almost dizzy.
‘You’re spending too much.’ She forced herself to meet his gaze again. ‘I can’t repay you.’
‘I don’t want you to. Considering that I’m taking her mother away for a month, I think it’s the least I can do for her. I want you both to be happy, Livia.’
‘I know.’
She felt a renewed stab of guilt. She believed him. He really did want them both to be happy. It was what she wanted, too, to be happy with a husband she liked and respected and could feel close to, not to mention one who would be a good father to her daughter, but she still felt ungrateful to be keeping secrets from him. How could she ever truly be close to him while she was doing that? How could she ever truly be happy?
