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‘Then how can I
leave?’
‘Because you need to be with your daughter.’
‘No.’ She shook her head and then winced. ‘If you think that this is only a respite, then it means the rebels will attack again soon. How can you spare men to take me to Coria when you need every soldier you can get?’
‘They won’t be gone long.’
‘Long enough.’ She lifted her chin, moving her head more carefully this time. ‘I won’t abandon you, Marius. As long as Julia’s safe, I can face anything else. We’ll fight the rebels together.’
‘No!’ He stood up, half-touched, half-appalled by her words. ‘I won’t let you fight.’
‘Then I’ll tend to the injured.’
‘You’re injured!’
‘It was just a bump on the head.’ She rubbed her fingers over the swollen area. ‘I’ll be back to normal in a few hours. I’m not even dizzy.’
‘I don’t want you getting hurt again.’
‘Then I won’t be.’ She stretched out a hand towards him. ‘I’ll be more careful from now on. You can show me how to use a gladius and...’
‘You’re leaving!’
He said the words more forcefully than he’d intended, wincing inwardly as he saw her eyes widen with a look of surprise followed by hurt. He hardened his heart at the sight. Apparently Ario was right. She wasn’t going to leave, not willingly, especially after last night. He’d told her that there really was a bond between them and now the only thing he could do was break it and persuade her otherwise. He had to tell her he didn’t love her just at the very moment he wanted to tell her how much he did.
‘I’m ordering you to go, Livia.’ He forced the words out. ‘You need to leave, you more than anyone.’
‘What do you mean, more than anyone?’
Her eyes flickered with a look of suspicion and he clenched his jaw.
‘Because I can’t fight if I’m distracted.’
‘I won’t distract you! You don’t have to defend me.’
‘I didn’t mean that. I mean that I can’t watch you all the time. While you’re here, I can’t be sure you won’t do something to endanger the fort.’
She looked as though he’d just struck her. ‘But I told you I wouldn’t. You said that you understood!’
‘I thought that I did, but things are different now. I can’t trust someone with divided loyalties.’
‘But I saved your life! You just said so!’
‘And I’m grateful.’ He took a step back from the bed, adopting his stoniest, most resolute expression. ‘But that’s all. We had one night together, but it’s over. I don’t regret it, but this marriage will never work. I see that now. After this rebellion is dealt with...’ He cleared his throat, forcing himself to pretend that there would be an after. ‘You and Julia can live somewhere else as you suggested. We’ll lead separate lives. That would probably be best for all of us.’
‘Separate lives...’ She sank back against the pillows, her gaze accusing. ‘Last night you said that we belonged together.’
‘I was wrong. In the real world, we all have to choose sides.’
‘I thought that I had.’
Her voice sounded so hopeless that he had to resist the urge to go back to her, to hold her in his arms and say that none of what he was saying was true. Instead he braced himself for his last parting shot.
‘I thought I didn’t care where you came from, Livia, but I do. You’re one of them. A Caledonian. A barbarian. You need to be ready to leave at dawn.’
Chapter Twenty-Four
