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"Damned straight. You see, Derek -- I've always loved you, too. I just didn't know you loved me in return. You were always so competitive. I thought you couldn't STAND me. So when you confessed your love last night, I was angry that you'd never shown any interest before, that we wasted all those years."
"But, Holly -- oh, my gosh. I really BLEW it, didn't I?'"
"Only for a season, Derek. What's meant to be is meant to be..."
"And what's meant to be for US, Holly?"
"You love me -- I love you. You want to have babies together -- I want to have babies together. So, in a spiritual sense, we're sort of -- married."
"Your 'get out of hell free' card?" I quipped.
"Something like that. The point is, I was struggling with saving myself for marriage because I've always been so attracted to you. But I was convinced you didn't love me and so would never marry me, so I couldn't give myself to you. It's a classic catch-22 situation. But now, everything has changed."
I smiled at Holly. My dream girl was real. I wasn't a rapist -- I was a lover, a spiritual husband. Everything had changed, indeed.
"Holly, why didn't YOU ever try to let me know about your feelings for ME?" I asked.
She laughed light-heartedly. "In high school, why do you think I joined all the same clubs and activities as you did?" she asked.
I stared blankly at her, still mentally processing the import of her confession.
"It was to be near you," she continued, "heck, I'd have even joined the chess club if I didn't suck so bad at chess. I didn't want you to see me as weak."
A lump was forming in my throat. Holly Grandal had always wanted to be near - ME?
"Derek, I'd have even followed you to Boston College if my parents would have let me. I couldn't afford school on my own, even with some pretty good scholarships. I did the best I could to be near you. My parents always wanted the best for me, so they could hardly say no to Harvard."
I reached out for her hand, entwining her fingers in mine. "So why didn't you contact me here in Boston before now?" I asked.
"I wanted to - I desperately did. I found out where you lived. I'd go and stand outside your apartment building, across the street so as not to be noticed, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, wishing I had the courage to talk to you about my problem. But then I felt like such a stalker, and my inner demons were telling me you'd think I was a psycho." Her eyes were brimming with tears.
True enough, her fragile mental state was worrisome to me. But not because I was afraid of her or repulsed by her, rather because I cared about her. I could see that she was a genuinely good person - not just beautiful, funny, and smart - who was tormented by her feelings and beliefs.
I wiped tears from the corners of her eyes with my thumb.
"It's okay, sweetheart," I said. Man, did it feel good to call her that in real life, not just in my dreams. "I don't think anything of the sort. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"You know, Derek," she smiled through her tears, "it's kind of ironic. I DID tell you how I felt about you, over and over, as we were growing up..."
"How so?" I asked.
"How many times have you heard me say, 'Catch me if you can!'?"
"About a million..." I replied.
"Don't you get it? I was trying to get you to PURSUE me, silly..."
"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, "I never did get it. I can't believe how STUPID I am."
"Don't say that about yourself, Derek," she chided, "you're the smartest man I've ever known. And besides -- you CAUGHT me." She winked and smiled at me.
"I'm just wondering - not that it matters - but why did you leave me alone in your apartment this morning?" I queried.
"I just walked down to the market for a few things. I was going to scrounge us up some breakfast. But when I got back you were gone. I was worried that maybe you were having second thoughts about what you had said - that maybe you didn't really mean it in the cold, sober light of day."
I took her in my arms and held her tight, then locked lips with her for a slow, deliberate kiss. I wanted to remove any lingering doubts from her mind. Her tongue felt SO good against mine. It may have been five minutes before we came up for air.
"So, my sweet girl, what am I going to do with you?" I asked absent-mindedly, not really thinking about what I was saying.
